[Johnny Groove]

Classic wisdom says not to dip one's pen in company ink, not to fuck where you eat, and so on.

I think that it can cause issues, especially when people date and then break up and then have to go back to work again, but is that any worse than a mountain of sexual tension in the air every time I go to work? I think workplace romance is inevitable, really, if two people spend a long time with each other.

What are your thoughts?

 

[abraxas21]

do you have a job, john?

 

[Gagsquet]

:lol:

 

[Johnny Groove]

2, actually.

 

[abraxas21]

future top 100 professional tennis player and womanizer with 2 jobs

must be hard to do all that much and still find the time to post on MTF 24/7

 

[Johnny Groove]

It ain't easy, mate.

But back on topic, any girls you fancy at your workplace, abraxas?

 

[Bilbo]

I think workplace romance is inevitable, really, if two people spend a long time with each other.

This is how most couples get together at workplaces or at uni, spending a lot of time with each other. It is because trust gets built, which is the base for any relationship. But don't forget that these relationships usually are not the most healthy ones because for most people it is the only way to get into a relationship, and thus they take what they can. Picking up girls on the street gets you less trouble and makes much more fun.

 

[Sauletekis]

Have to agree with all you said, Bilbo.

 

[Bilbo]

For me the most interesting question is why these relationships break up so often. I believe it is because most men only get to know women at their workplaces (or being drunk at parties), and therefore only have a very limited choice of women. Consequently, their chance to end up with the wrong partner is very high.

(Bilbo's theory)

 

[HKz]

Yes I think it is inevitable for the most part. You are with these people the majority of the week, it is only natural that one starts to know others better, and soon afterwards they start getting to know each other more personally and it goes on from there. At the same time, it certainly doesn't help that people try to make such a connection with two employees when they feel employee x is giving employee y more than normal for perhaps what they is some "favor."

Obviously either way, a relationship or not can cause tension and it can be very awkward for those who end a relationship, which is why many companies require notification so that the two can be placed in separate departments. However, I think companies should be less naive about this, as it happens all the time even with people who are married, and put policies in place that would make it easier to allow relationships while not interfering with work rather than trying so hard to prevent and discourage. At my previous job as a Windows Server Admin at Motorola, the organization I worked for actually tries to hire couples to work for them, especially if they are married. That way I guess the two will be satisfied emotionally since they always get to see each other for lunch and whatever. I remember a husband and wife that actually worked in the same department for like 20 years and I guess it worked out for them very well and they were both considered great employees of the company.

 

[Sunset of Age]

What HKz says.

A workplace romance is a very common thing (actually, in my country it's the #1 place where couples meet each other! ), and it can work out very well indeed. You already have quite something in common which is very important in one's life (if it's a serious job I mean), you work together, you go to the same social meetings, etc. From my time working as a PhD student in a university lab, I remember AT LEAST two couples 'meeting' one another while staring down at their respective test tubes, agar plates, & DNA blots - both of them couples now married-with-children for over 20 years.

Perhaps it makes a difference if you're just out for the 'pussy hunt' in stead of looking for a steady relationship, I dunno.
But these folks didn't know it was as serious as it would turn out to be either, when they first became drunk together at a promotion party...

 

[arm]

For me the most interesting question is why these relationships break up so often. I believe it is because most men only get to know women at their workplaces (or being drunk at parties), and therefore only have a very limited choice of women. Consequently, their chance to end up with the wrong partner is very high.

(Bilbo's theory)

The couple gets sick of each other. That should be the main reason. You see a person 24/7. :bolt: It's only normal that the relationship starts degrading.

 

[safin-rules-no.1]

Classic wisdom says not to dip one's pen in company ink, not to fuck where you eat, and so on.

I think that it can cause issues, especially when people date and then break up and then have to go back to work again, but is that any worse than a mountain of sexual tension in the air every time I go to work? I think workplace romance is inevitable, really, if two people spend a long time with each other.

What are your thoughts?

I screwed the Managing Director at my previous job. It actually got really awkward after the third time.

 

[Bilbo]

The couple gets sick of each other. That should be the main reason. You see a person 24/7. :bolt: It's only normal that the relationship starts degrading.

True, but not always you see each other so often even when you work at the same place. How Sunset of Age described it can also work, but it's the worst case solution imo. However, I still believe it is just the extension of something bigger what I explained before.

By the way, about all workplace romances that I know, all have failed.

 

[Sunset of Age]

By the way, about all workplace romances that I know, all have failed.

That's sad. But have you compared that to the number of drunk-pub-romances that have also failed?

I think the BIG difference is decided by whether you're out for just a nice one-night-stand, or for something longlasting & serious.
BTW, lest-we-forget, some 30-50% of ALL relationships fail in the long run (at least in the Western world), wherever the couple happened to meet in the beginning.

 

[arm]

True, but not always you see each other so often even when you work at the same place. How Sunset of Age described it can also work, but it's the worst case solution imo. However, I still believe it is just the extension of something bigger what I explained before.

By the way, about all workplace romances that I know, all have failed.

It's also a very common phenomenon here in Portugal. And in most cases it lasts. I don't have a good example at home, though.

People should just go with the flow. It's not like you can pick whom you fall in love with, or avoid doing so because it's your co-worker. I believe it's healthier when couple don't work together, but that doesn't mean it can't work or you should run away from it.

 

[Bilbo]

That's sad. But have you compared that to the number of drunk-pub-romances that have also failed?

I was trying to say that in my "theory" post. What I wanted to say is that both workplaces and parties are the worst places for serious relationships. The whole theory is very complex. We have to go back 40 years to find the roots of the problem.

I think the BIG difference is decided by whether you're out for just a nice one-night-stand, or for something longlasting & serious.

True, it is because most guys are not aware of their emotional needs. See nice guy discussion.

BTW, lest-we-forget, some 30-50% of ALL relationships fail in the long run (at least in the Western world), wherever the couple happened to meet in the beginning.

True, and the numbers have increased dramatically in the last 40 years. See nice guy syndrome.

 

[Pirata.]

I am in university for education and from what I know, workplace relationships between teachers are generally frowned upon. My French teacher and my algebra teacher had a secret romance for about a year and a half before they got married because dating your co-worker was a big no-no in our school district.

 

[Gagsquet]

I was trying to say that in my "theory" post. What I wanted to say is that both workplaces and parties are the worst places for serious relationships. The whole theory is very complex. We have to go back 40 years to find the roots of the problem.

If I sum up:
School and work are a bad place for serious relationships.
Pub and parties are a bad place for serious relationships.

That's definitely a bilbo's theory (nonsensical)

 

[EddceLLent]

This is how most couples get together at workplaces or at uni, spending a lot of time with each other. It is because trust gets built, which is the base for any relationship. But don't forget that these relationships usually are not the most healthy ones because for most people it is the only way to get into a relationship, and thus they take what they can. Picking up girls on the street gets you less trouble and makes much more fun.

Surely "picking girls up on the street" doesn't constitute a relationship at all, or at least it's just a casual one. Maybe that's what some people want but I certainly wouldn't say that relationships founded on trust aren't as "healthy" as casual relationships. Everyone is different - but there's no need to pretend that any group is better than another.

For me the most interesting question is why these relationships break up so often. I believe it is because most men only get to know women at their workplaces (or being drunk at parties), and therefore only have a very limited choice of women. Consequently, their chance to end up with the wrong partner is very high.

How else could men meet women that you think would be better? For someone my age (25) it doesn't really seem like there's that many different ways of meeting women - at work, through friends or whilst out drunk. That's how most people I know met their partners.

That's sad. But have you compared that to the number of drunk-pub-romances that have also failed?

I think the BIG difference is decided by whether you're out for just a nice one-night-stand, or for something longlasting & serious.
BTW, lest-we-forget, some 30-50% of ALL relationships fail in the long run (at least in the Western world), wherever the couple happened to meet in the beginning.

You said it...


...and my story...

I've been seeing my girlfriend for 8 months, she used to be my boss at my old job. I guess it's not technically a workplace romance because we started seeing each other after i'd left but yeah, I think knowing her as I did at work definitely gave me a good idea of what she was like.

I used to feign incompetence so I could have an excuse to go and talk to her, it was fun and at the same time it was pretty harmless - it didn't majorly affect my work and it kept her in good spirits when she was feeling stressed .

I can't really speak about working with your partner (which, if I had to guess, I would say could be pretty awkward - because every couple needs plenty of time apart), but i'd definitely say that work was a great place for me to get to know my girlfriend before I started going out with her. A lot of women have a sort of tendency to see men trying to talk to them as predatory, so I think work is a good place to meet women in that maybe they don't put up barriers like they might do if you just met them socially or something - they can get to know you without automatically thinking "he just wants me for the poon". Idk though, can't say all women are the same like that.