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Be warned that this entry won't be tainted with joy, nor despair. But some things need to be written.

Well, last weekend, when I've tried to cheer up my brother, we talked a lot about our own personal life, and especially our being single. It's not pretty easy to help somebody opening his eyes on his having no chance with a person he particularly likes. But I had to. I simply couldn't let him keep on hoping while all he had told me about the girl pointed out she really didn't want to start anything with him. Anyway, all this discussion made wanna start thinking about my situation. As I didn't want to rush, I just thought about it during this whole past week, and here are my conclusions.

It's no secret anymore. I haven't had any serious relationship with a guy for some years now. Why? At first, because I didn't want to have one, after some previous ones had ended up really badly for me. I simply didn't want to suffer because of a guy any longer. Auto protection, self preservation. Yet, we are not meant to live alone. So this explanation suits for part of the time. Not the entire period.

Another reason, let's say I wasn't really attractive for guys. Been obese for some years, and of course, this doesn't help at all. Most of them just turn their head over you because you don't match the standards of beauty. And to be honest, you consider yourself so low that you can't expect or ask others to rate you higher than you actually do with yourself. Yet, all those kilos are gone now. Though, in my mind, I still feel like I have them on. I have absolutely no self confidence...

Ok. Still no valid answer as to why I'm still single. Where does it come from then? Well, this how I see things. I'm far beyond the age when you only think about having fun with a guy. I consider having a relationship now as something serious. Maybe, it stops some guys. And when I have a look at the last 2 who have had some go at me, it reinforces that conviction. Both were in their 50's and divorced. I'm also not what is commonly called a hottie. I'm not the kind of girl who dress sexy and will never be. And even if I had some try, that would be a dramatic flop, given I really don't feel that way. That's just not me. So, when you add all this, you have to admit that chances to be noticed and appreciated by a guy decrease seriously. I'm not saying that all guys are looking for hotties. And if I was convinced it was the case, I simply would jump through the window. No need to hope anymore. Yet, I think I cumulate some handicaps, and it doesn't help things getting sorted out.

To conclude, there are 2 things that I demand to any guy who'd be, by chance, interested in me (see that I don't totally exclude that possiblity, though I consider it being very close to 0). He has to accept me the way I am and not try to have me change so that I match more what he awaits from a girl. And also, he has to respect me. That is to say, if he feels there's something wrong and wanna go and see somewhere else, he has to state things. I know, this is pretty demanding, but on the other hand, the guy can be assured that he can expect as much from me in return.
 

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Reading that made me think about my own situation, we have a lot in common. Like you, i was fat some years ago, now i take care of my physical appearence and people used to say i'm attractive... Nevertheless, i'm single for years. I know something is wrong in my mind.
Sorry, i know, it wasn't interresting :rolleyes:
 
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