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This is going to be boring, so those of you looking for a good bitch ... tune in next time :p

I'm working at the vet library. While i love this shift because I get paid 10.60 an hour to sit on my ass and do what I do at home a lot of the time... it's horribly boring. Hence my needing to talk to myself in my blog.

My "library hot guy" walked by a while ago, but as I noticed sometime later... my mascara was all buggered up. Damn snow. That, or it's the new mascara I bought.... maybe it just sucks? This is why I don't do makeup! It does make me look better though. It makes most people look better if they put it on right.

The only thing that makes me not look 12... from the neck up, that is... is my forehead lines. I've had them forever, and don't like them. I would have decent skin most of the time if not for that. Grrrr.

I have this friend who is like... a chameleon. She gets a different group of friends every year or two, and completely changes to become more like them. It's so... bizarre. I think that bizarre is my word of the month, btw. Anyways, a while ago she hung out with peopl who did a lot of chemicals, so naturally, she started using too. Then she stops hanging with them because she gets a new bf, and now all she does it smoke pot all the time. Next year I expect her to be with somebody else who doesn't even drink, and all of a sudden she'll be super-prude and get on my case for drinking once in a blue moon. I can't decide if what she does is self destructive or not. She's either not being true to herself, or she doesn't know who she is and thinks that she's going to find herself through other people... I don't know.

I'm not criticizing. There are things that I don't really get about myself, so I can't jump on somebody for trying to deal with their own shit. It just makes me wonder what I should do to deal with my own. Whatever I'm currently doing isn't working. I always think that taking off, travelling for a bit, new experience and blah will solve things. But running away isn't really a solution. I think that maybe I'm a touch idealist in thinking that I can just take off and magically find myself one of these days, but the contrary to that is to think that I never will.

I have chapped lips and nothing works. Does anybody have a recommendation, damnit?!

So I graduate in December. I've saved about 1500, which means I can afford to travel around Canada/US like an absolute bum for a little while if I feel like it. I was going to save the money for... a rainy day. Or save even more so that I can go to Europe or something like that. I try to be good with money, since I don't exactly float in it. But maybe my rainy day has come? If I find a job shortly after I get home, I'll put it off for a little while and just fuck around and go places on my days off. Any recommendations? I travel by bus, so I'm limited in that regard :p Er, I also travel alone, so personal safety is always key! I'm loopy, not self destructive.

Long story short, I feel like I'm confined myself in a box and I want to get the Hell out of it. Aside from running around, I don't really know how else to do that. And if running around doesn't work, at least I'll have fun doing it.

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