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Classic : A book which people praise, but do not read.

Cigarette : A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end a fool on the
other.

Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the notes
of the students without passing throughthe minds of either.

Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present. Compromise : The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got
the biggest piece.

Tears : The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine
water power...

Lies: There are three kinds of lies:1.Lies, 2.True lies, 3. statistics.

Conference Room : A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody
disagrees later on.

Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight. Office:A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.

Etc. or .......... : A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that
nothing can be done together.

Business: The art of extracting money from another man's pocket without resorting to
violence.

Experience: The name men give to their mistakes.

Atom Bomb : An invention to end all inventions.

Philosopher : A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.

Diplomat : A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look
forward to the trip.

Opportunist: A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.

Optimist: A person who while falling from Eiffel tower says in midway 'See I am not
injured yet.'

Pessimist: A person who says that O is the last letter in RO, Instead of the first letter
in word OPPORTUNITY .

Miser :A person who lives poor so that he can die rich. Father:A banker provided by nature. Criminal : A guy no different from the rest....except that he got caught.

Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

Politician: One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.

Doctor : A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.

S/W Engineer : One who gets paid for creating and reading these type of facts !
 

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LOVE the list.............I had a good chuckle over a couple of them :lol: :lol:
 
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