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Well well..

I had a tennis tournament yesterday. And I defaulted for the first time in my life.... I don't know if I regret it or not. I felt like a quitter, and it really bothered me. I played my first match and won it 6-0 6-1 I played really good. Then we went around the town, to a museum, then a German restaurant. My stomach started feeling funny after that, and during the match I felt bad and tired. I only had a few hours of sleep the night before. Why? Because my sleep schedule is so screwed. I was up 5-3 in the first set and then ended up winning it 7-5. I won that set by going through the motions, and feeling like crap. Then the match ends and i lose 7-5 1-6 0-6. :sad: I just lost it, and I felt like SH** because I just felt bad. I had no fight in me, and that is strange because I am so competitive and always a fighter. In the second set, I was telling myself at like win 6 more games and be done. Then I was like win 5 more then done. But I just f'ed up and lost it all. After that I defaulted my last match, it was a round robin format. So I played really good in my first match, and I couldn't help but thinking during my match that I was a lazy, horrible, and no drive player. I was thinking about getting into better shape, but how? I probably should call up this person I know if another town who I haven't talked too in months, and ask him too play. But I guess my anti-socialness thats not how to describe it no. I am social, just I have hard times with people I don't really well. It takes me a long time to open up to people I guess. So I need to do that and a lot of other things but I guess I just need to do them. I just wasn't having any fun on the court, and I don't know why?? Am I getting tired of tennis? Or what is it? I don't know, I feel confused.... I guess maybe it was just a bad day or something. I just hope my next match goes better. I think I will start blogging more, I think this is good therapy..

Danny
 
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