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"How's your ass?" This is the first question I ask one of my co-workers today. Me and a few guys from my office played some doubles last night, it was the first time they invited me, and maybe the last.

I only play singles and pretty much stick to the baseline, so playing doubles freaks me out a little bit. I don't like being at the net and got nailed a couple times by this one really vicious guy (I got him back, don't worry) when I was at the net. I just don't have the quick reaction I need for net play yet.

But I digress. Josh was my partner, not the vicious mean guy who kept smacking balls at me, but a truly nice guy who didn't deserve the friendly fire he got from me a couple of times during my services games.

Ok, I'll admit I don't know the ad from the deuce side, so bear with me. I'm a righty, so I'm standing on the left side to serve and he's up at the net on the right. Because I suck at serving and rarely ever play doubles, I get distracted by the person standing at net on that side of the court and can't serve with any predictability to that side. Poor Josh. For the first big fuck up, my serve bounced on MY service line and the ball bounced up his shorts. Which I found extremely funny. Can anyone say "ethics violation"? So after a little laughter (funny, none of the guys were laughing very much) I was able to hold serve without any further problems.

However, during my next service game, I nailed him with a really nice & fast serve straight into his ass. I'm laughing uncontrollably just trying to type this as I visualize it. I laughed so hard and so loud (and this was a booshie private club, the other people around didn't really appreciate my ridiculously loud laughter) that I had tears streaming down my face and I just couldn't get it together. Part of the reason is nobody else was laughing, they just stood there. And as I realized I shouldn't be laughing, it only got harder to stop, the tears were falling as I desparately tried to contain my pee. I did, in fact, pee a little bit but fortunately it wasn't streaming down my leg or anything really embarrassing. That would have just made me laugh even more, I'm sure.

I'm trying to find a bag to form a makeshift icepack for Josh now, he said he's still a little bit sore.

So, I wonder when they'll invite me to play doubles again? I'm not holding my breath.
 
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