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Same as it ever was
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I don't know how I'm going anymore really. I haven't heard from Matt since the initial call to say he wanted space. I am not making any attempts to call him because I want to respect his need for space. I know he said he still wanted to chat to me while he was thinking things over but I imagine that the thought of calling me might be a bit more awkward than he originally thought.

On Tuesday night at my bowling league I saw Matt's friend (the one I used to like and I met Matt through) and he is still treating me totally normal and chatting away to me in an upbeat manner. I really appreciate that because it must mean that Matt doesn't think I've done anything wrong because if he did his friend would be treating me differently too. I did take the time on Tuesday to ask him how Matt was going. He looked a little like I'd put him on the spot - which is understandable - I know that he'd be feeling quite awkward about the situation too since he was so keen for us to get together in the first place. Anyway, he had only spoken to Matt for 5 minutes on Sunday so he didn't really know how he was going. He said he was going to be seeing him last night so I asked him to say hi for me which he said he would. He made mention that Matt obviously hadn't called me yet then and I told him he hadn't and that I didn't want to pester him and would rather wait for him to call me. So anyway, hopefully after Matt's told that I said hi and asked after him he'll know that I don't hate him.

I am making some progress with my recovery. I'm not feeling so totally down all the time now and I can actually laugh at things quite a bit. AND before I found that I couldn't listen to Billy Joel songs at all because he is Matt's favourite artist and so they all reminded me of him and made me upset. But NOW I'm wanting to listen to Billy Joel. It's weird. The songs aren't making me think of him anymore... except for "Tell Her About It" for some reason. It must have been the first of Billy's songs that I listened to after I met him and it reminds me of him. On the other hand I can't get enough of listening to "Uptown Girl" because it just completely reminds me of my childhood. It came out when I was 5 years old and I totally remember it when it came out and I remember the filmclip and LOVING it... and thinking that Billy Joel was really cute in it :unsure: Ok, remember I WAS only 5 years old at the time and at 5 years old you don't actually know what cute is :lol:

Ok that was a longer entry than I anticipated, but I'm glad I was able to get more off my chest. I just wish I could transport myself forward a few months and get all of this out of the way one way or another. Either be happy with him or getting over him. It's horrid being in the spot I am at the moment :(
 

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Premium Member
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:hug: we're all here for you Peta:hug:

Billy Joel..cute?:unsure: oooooooookay..... I was happy to read you were only 5 when that came into your mind :lol: phew ;)
 

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Peta, it's good that you can get it off your chest a bit, as you say. If Matt does care, he'll call. :)
And oh, btw, I also think that Billy Joel is cute in that video, and I still do!!! :eek: ;)
 

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Miss Fabray
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:hug:
 
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