Re: Gaston News & Articles
This is the translation I’d promised you. It was an in-depth interview Gastón gave upon his return to Buenos Aires, and was the feature article in the Sunday 27th June edition of Clarín.
It’s a very long article (seven pages on my computer), and in it he seems to be baring his soul, it doesn’t occur to him to hold anything back or to gloss things over. While I was translating it, going over it again and again to try to be faithful to his words, I suffered with his description of the “stage-fright” which afflicts him. It’s harrowing to perceive just how incapacitating this disability is. It takes courage to be a professional tennis-player in these circumstances, and his battling with his demons is quite heroic. (And hats off to his team who have taken the risk to accompany him in this venture).
Luckily I think that since the interview he’s been improving gradually, and we know that his psychological difficulties are only work-related as in his private life he’s completely different and full of fun.
Here it is:
http://old.clarin.com/diario/2004/06/27/sociedad/s-784690.htm
Sunday, 27 June 2004 (Clarín)
Alejandro Prosdocimi.
FIGURE IN THE NEWS
GASTON GAUDIO: the champion’s therapy
The tennis player admits that he is a very negative, ultra-sensitive person. To such an extent, he says, that all his complexes and fears have made playing tennis very painful for him. But he’s changed. He did it through therapy, with the help of a psychoanalyst. He’s overcome his specters, but although he won Roland Garros, he doesn’t believe he has already got everything under control.
There are tales of Guillermo Vilas as a child, in Mar del Plata, inflicting chronic no;ises on his neighbours as he hit the ball against the garage wall, obstinately trying to achieve the necessary technique to master the sport in which he would be champion.
There are also tales of Gabriela Sabatini, aged 9 or 10, minute, monosyllabic, with little bird legs and plaits, giving girls up to five years her seniors terrible thrashings thanks to her memorable familiarity with the tennis racket, an implement that would one day make her famous, a champion, desired, and a millionaire. And there’s the most overwhelming testimony of predestination of all, perhaps because he is the greatest Argentine champion: there we have Dieguito Maradona, 11 years old, kicking the No. 5 ball in a black-and-white video and making the first of his millions of public statements: “Mi dream is to play the World Cup and be champion with Argentina”.
People of that special class are lazily defined with set phrases: champions from birth, touched by a magic wand, a race apart, bearers of the sacred flame, authentic sports legends …
ONLY FOR THE ELECT
But now we are chatting with Gastón Gaudio, the champion of Roland Garros, the 25-year-old man who achieved a triumph that only the hero Vilas (four times), and Sabatini (once) had reached in the history of Argentine tennis: to win one of the four great pearls of the tennis circuit (Roland Garros, Wimbledon, the U.S. Open and the Australian Open).
He is wearing a cap, a long-sleeved T-shirt, green trousers and bright-coloured sneakers. He seems a rather timid guy, with a luminous smile, and touches of an only child: still a bit of a kid, still a little spoiled.
He seems to resist coming to the conclusion that after that great triumph on French soil, a new life has begun for him.
ANTIHERO
Gaudio recalls: “That time, in Paris, when I got to the changing room, everybody was congratulating me, and the first-first thing I thought was: I must be the worst Roland Garros champion in history”. This phrase casts Gaudio in the role in which he feels most comfortable: the sincere and merciless antihero. The guy who choses Daniel Garnero (that exquisite number ten of his favourite team, Independiente, remembered more for what he promised to be than for the player he was) as his football alter ego, is the same guy who with his eyes shut chooses Pergolini rather than Tinelli, and is the same one who, during the difficult debut match in Paris fed the newspapers shouting things like “What a shitty life!” or “I’m a failure”.
Standing on the opposite side of the street from the pedigree champions, this guy, who might even arouse our pity, won Roland Garros and is installed for ever in the history of Argentine sport.
How did the guy do it?
A TRIUMPH OF THE PSYCHOANALYST, THEN.
That’s true. I’m a very negative guy, too self-demanding, ultra-sensitive. And all those things have made me live tennis with pain and suffering. The aim of the therapy I started was to try not to suffer so much playing tennis, to be able to enjoy myself on court again. I swear that after what happened to me playing the Davis Cup against Spain (Editor’s note: in September 2003 Gaudio, until then one of the mainstays of the Argentine competition team, helplessly lost his two matches and was signalled as being mainly responsible for the defeat) I spent seven months without being able to win a match. And it wasn’t because of my tennis, it was my head.
WHAT CHANGED WITH THERAPY?
It was fundamental. I’ve been working with the psychologist Pablo Pécora since December, and he is a very good professional who has also played tennis. The general idea is that I must feel good off the court to be able to do well on court. So he knows that with me it won’t be the typical setup of one or two 45-minute sessions per week, because I’m travelling all the time; instead when I’m in Buenos Aires I see him a lot, almost all the time, and when I’m at the tournaments we keep in contact by e-mail or by telephone. In Paris, during the tournament, he sent me an e-mail every day, reinforcing the things we had analysed together: that I should have more of a fighting spirit, that I should be more humble when I play, that I should take responsibility for the things I do, that if I win anything I shouldn’t feel that it’s a gift, it’s because I deserve it. Things that are basic for other people, but which for me are very difficult. Indications that I must not retreat. That I must not one day feel that I’m a total genius and the next day that I’m a shit. Because, hey, even though I won Roland Garros I don’t think I’ve overcome all my problems. It will help a lot, of course, but I also know that being negative is something I have ingrained and I won’t overcome it easily. For example, I see that Coria knows he is good, that he was born a champion. He knows it and that gives him the confidence to play even better than his real level. You can see the confidence in his face, it’s noticeable.
I, instead, don’t feel that, it’s not in me.
THEN HOW DO YOU MANAGE TO SURVIVE IN A MEDIUM WHERE YOU HAVE TO BE SO STRONG IN THE HEAD?
Well… I give my opponents a very big advantage over me in that respect, but I’ve also surrounded myself with a very strong group on a human level, which accompanies me, my coach Franco Davin and my physical trainer Fernando Aguirre. Hey, make it very clear in the article that they are just as important as the therapy. Because for me it’s essential to be with good people, to have good human support. I spend the whole year travelling, and if I weren’t good friends with them, I might as well be dead. This isn’t the case, but seriously I would prefer not to have the best coach, but to be beside the best person. It’s a wonderful sensation to see that your coach feels what you are feeling, that he’s living the match with you, that he’s suffering with you, and not to see that he is thinking how much he is going to earn if I win or loose the next point. And after feeling strong beside your work team comes the tough part: to learn to challenge the fear.
HOW DO YOU MANAGE NOT TO BE AFRAID IF WINNING OR LOOSING A POINT CAN MEAN A TRIUMPH WHEN YOU COULD JUST AS EASILY LOOSE…?
It is like drug addiction: to overcome it, the addict first has to acknowledge that he has an addiction. If I am afraid, the first thing I do now is to acknowledge it so as to be able to face it better, more calmly. And to try to enjoy myself instead of becoming paralysed. Franco, my coach, said to me before that final with Coria: you just go out onto the court and play freely, as if it was an interclub tournament in Buenos Aires. Don’t magnify the situation. Right, I understood, but I couldn’t do it, I never stopped feeling the pressure. I couldn’t get it out of my head that I was in a situation I had dreamed of all my life. First I was losing 6-0 and 5-1 and I wanted to get off the court so as not to continue making a fool of myself. I shouted it to Franco in the box: “I’m going”. A while later the only thing I managed to say to myself, while I was still losing, was “This way you’ll lose for sure, you idiot, at least if you’re going to lose, enjoy youself”. And I tried to enjoy it, but I never could: I won the tournament suffering, with balls and a lot of luck. It was so weird… like those things you see in a movie and you think: “No, stop fucking me. That can’t happen, how exagerated!”.
THE FAMILY
Gastón is Norberto and Marisa’s youngest son. Diego and Julieta, besides being his elder brother and sister, are also his friends and role-models. He is totally devoted to his family, and he had to bite off his tongue ten times so as not to tell his people to travel to Paris to cheer him on. Gastón drives around Buenos Aires in a smart new Mini Cooper, he lives in a Palermo high-rise building with a swimming-pool and security service, and he uses the Vilas Club as his training office, in the Palermo woods. Vilas, Vilas once again, the one who handed him the cup, the role-model for all Argentine tennis players.
”I am grateful to him. I was 16 years old when Guillermo inaugurated his club and I went there with my coach at that time, Gaby Mena, and he accepted us inmediately”.
MEMORIES
But his life was not always like this, his childhood and his memories are linked to the South of Greater Buenos Aires. Linked to having had everything and suddenly, from one day to the next, to realize there was nothing left.
My childhood was that of a rich kid. I went to an English school (Barker College, of Lomas), where I went full time, I played rugby, I took part in school exchanges. When I asked to go to Disneyworld, they’d take me for a month to Disneyworld. I had all I wanted and I enjoyed it, I had no notion of how harsh life could be. One day, when I was 16, my dad had a heart attack and everything went to hell. Things started to go wrong financially in the family firm and I thought: “I will have to play tennis well or I’m in the shit.” Up until then I’d never thought about how we lived. My dad had a family firm, Horizonte Azul, which exported fruit, with land in Villa Regina, Rio Negro, but at that time neither my elder brother and sister nor I knew where the money came from. I was a kid and I couln’t care less. It was tough, but I had to realize that this was another life we were facing, that everything was collapsing. My dad had to stop working because of his health, and that was that.
NOWADAYS, IN THAT FAMILY, YOU ARE THE MAIN SOURCE OF INCOME; HOW DID YOU ADJUST TO THE CHANGE IN ROLES?
In fact nothing has changed, it’s a matter of upbringing. My old man is still my old man even if I earn more money. What he says counts, it’s not that I have now become the father. And with my brother and my sister it’s the same. If I do something stupid, they’ll immediately say “what’s the matter with you, kid?”. I was just lucky that I play tennis well, that’s all. Apart from that, I’m just an ordinary guy in the family.
LACK OF SAFETY
AN ORDINARY GUY WHO MAKES A LOT OF MONEY, DOES IT SCARE YOU TO LIVE IN BUENOS AIRES AS IT IS NOW?
Yes… (thinks a while) the lack of safety is something that kills me. I seem paranoid in the streets, I look to all sides before entering or when I’m leaving some place. But it really bugs me with regard to my family, I’m scared that something should happen to them. Now they live on a private estate so I feel better about it, but it’s not just because I’m famous and have money, the lack of safety affects everybody. They don’t even distinguish between us.
WOULD YOU LEAVE THE COUNTRY IF SOMETHING HAPPENED TO YOU OR YOUR FAMILY?
I don’t know if I’d go to that extent, but the lack of safety is an item. It’s quite an item.
AND MUCH MORE SO IF THE PAPERS REPORT THAT YOU HAVE EARNED OVER THREE MILLION DOLLARS. DOES IT MAKE YOU FEEL GUILTY TO BE DOING WELL IN A COUNTRY WHERE MOST PEOPLE ARE DOING BADLY?
No, not at all. I bust my ass to get to where I am. Here nobody gives you anything. But it’s also true that during the tournaments they treat you as a king and then you return to Buenos Aires and it’s all bad news. Just the same, I relax and enjoy things with my people. What else can I do? You can’t always be Mother Teresa, because in the end the one who falls ill is you.
THE GIRLFRIEND
Natalia Forchino, the model, has been Gastón’s girlfriend for the past two years. They see little of each other, the little time that the globetrotting tennis schedules leave for love.
When they don’t see each other, they chat: an ultramodern mini-notebook to keep in touch is never absent in successful tennis-players’ luggage nowadays. Those wretched distances, always affecting tennis-players.
WOULD YOU LIKE TO START A FAMILY BEFORE RETIRING?
Hey… hang on, hang on a bit. I would like to start a family, but not now. I see myself as
a sort of super-father, the doting pop, fetching the kids from school in my SUV and everything, but later on. I wouldn’d like to watch my children growing-up by e-mail, without being able to enjoy them. So I’ve got that on hold.
MOMENTS OF LEISURE
WHAT DO YOU DO DURING THE SHORT TIME YOU ARE IN BUENOS AIRES?
I run to see my girlfriend, my friends, there’s not a minute when I’m not seeing someone. We spend such little time in Buenos Aires that I enjoy them to the full. I also play golf, go to the movies to see some typical Yankee film, eat out. Because we tennis players really lead very solitary lives, spending most of the time with our work team and with colleagues with whom you share lots of things and at the same time you’re competing in everything.
IN THE PAST YOU’VE HAD SOME DIFFERENCES WITH CORIA AND NALBANDIAN. CAN YOU HAVE FRIENDS AMONG THE PEOPLE YOU COMPETE WITH FOR GLORY AND MONEY?
It’s difficult, because tennis players compete in everything: who has the best sponsors, who gets paid more, the contracts… Just the same, I have two friends-friends through tennis and I’ll stand by them to the death: Chelita and Zabala (Juan Ignacio Chela and Mariano Zabaleta). I don’t get on badly with the others, now everything is fine and has been cleared up. But the only ones there who are also friends extra-tennis are those two.
AND BEING SO SENSITIVE AND ATTACHED TO YOUR FRIENDS AS YOU SAY YOU ARE, HAVE YOU EVER GIVEN LESS THAN YOUR BEST WHEN PLAYING AGAINST ONE OF THEM?
A thousand times.
BEFORE WINNING ROLAND GARROS YOU SEEMED A LITTLE DISTANT, RATHER FULL OF YOURSELF, SORT OF TRENDY: ARE YOU REALLY LIKE THAT OR ARE YOU THE TYPICAL TIMID GUY WHO GIVES THE OPPOSITE IMPRESSION?
Look, I’m rather reserved and selective as regards my friends. To give you an idea, I still have the same friends since primary school. In that sense it’s true, I’m reserved: perhaps it’s not in me to open up so as to get to know other people. It’s due in part to being timid and in part to lack of necessity. I may be losing out by not meeting new people, but what can I do if it’s just not in me.
BUT NOW THAT YOU’VE DONE WHAT YOU’VE DONE, AFTER YOUR TRIUMPH, YOU’LL BE BESIEGED BY A MOB: TELEVISION, THE FRIENDS OF THE FAMOUS…
I know everyone is saying that, but today I can swear to you that my life will continue to be the same. I’ll still go to see Independiente, I’ll be with the people I love. And no matter who tries to get close to me, I already have my people. But (thinks) it’s true, I will have to interact with more people… (smiles, as if resigned) what a problem! Right, I already have a new problem: now I’ll have to see how I can resolve it.
It seems that the champion feeds on problems.
HIS MOTHER AND THE RACKET
HOW DID YOU START TO PLAY TENNIS?
Honestly, I don’t know quite how it happened. I think it was my mom who put a racket in my hand when I was six. My elder brother played at the Temperley Lawn Tennis Club, so I also had to go to play tennis. I liked rugby, but I had no alternative.
SO YOU HAD NO ALTERNATIVE BUT TO PLAY TENNIS?
Well, yes – he shrugs – I had no alternative.
