There was confusion in Dubai this week. Numerous Tennis players were seen wandering around Dubai aimlessly like lost little puppies. Why? well we're not entirely sure, at first they thought it was due to a rain delay but no one has seen any rain, It seems the lack of tennis is having a strange effect on some players. We tried to ask Mardy Fish what was happening and all we could get from him were garbeled words "tournament.........director........missing....need........tennis" which was followed by some insane mutterings about a duck some chocolate sauce and body paint, we fear this could be the start of a terrible outbreak of the disease called "lackoftennisgamesitis" this is usually only suffered by tennis fans during december and has never before been known to affect players in such a way.
It appears that the director of the tournament has infact disappeared without a trace, the police are in search of the organiser known as felix, "It's a terrible time I don't have any information to give at the moment" was all we could get out out of DI Weed.
It appears the tournament director has not been seen since annoucning the tournament draw it's all very confusing and people are really starting to worry. "I can't take it" said Andy Roddick before trailing off into some incomprehensible rambling about beds, champagne, flowers and fish. It all seems a little weird.
Word on the street is the players coaches are attempting to band together to raise some sort of reward for finding tournament director.
"We're desperate" said Fish's coach "All the players have gone insane, i even heard Robby Ginepri talking about asking a hippo for a date. I really don't understand whats got into them all, it's like not playing has damaged their brains, I spoke to a doctor and he said they all desperately needed to play some tennis". Usual cases of lackoftennisgamesitis fade as soon as the tennis season starts back up again so it is presumable that the players would also be cured by playing but surely the longer it goes on the harder it will be to cure the players.
"I'm really starting to worry about Mardy" added Fish's coach "he went into room on Thursday night and wouldn't come out, I sent Andy Roddick in to see if he could talk him out and now he's locked himself in there with him, they won't answer when we call, all we hear is moaning".
Similar things are happening all around Dubai, players are wnadering around muttering to themselves or locking themselves in their hotel rooms with other players.
A public announcement was made by all coaches on tour simply stating "Will someone please return Felix to us, we need our tournament director, please help us, we need Felix"
