German tennis stud Tomas Behrend insists upon his hotness. "More tennis players should look like me."
"Many tennis fans on menstennisforums.com seem to like the plethora of frickin' skinny players on the ATP Tour. While many have their charms, guys should be beefy and solid and, overall, rahr."
"We need more thick guys like me and Robby Ginepri and my compatriot Rainer Schuettler."
Behrend then explained the cause which he has spent years championing: "Yes, naked men's professional tennis is a dream of mine. I already have full support from world-renowned playboy/imaginary rock star Hurley, and am expecting vociferous barracking of a similar nature from such tennis message board luminaries as Rebecca, TennisHack, and Vaiva."
"We will not, however, allow Radek Stepanek to play on that particular tour."
Behrend understands that it had been a long time since Hurley had seen him at, um, US Open qualifying or something, but "Hurley always had faith that he had seen a really hot guy that day. I'm glad to prove him correct by not being fugly in the pictures taken today. I am hot."
Behrend beat some guy today but that's not important at all because it wasn't nude.