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Old 04-14-2004, 08:44 AM   #1
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Default HILARIOUS SEB FAN STORY- must read!

This was from Seb's official site forum...it's about this crazy fan woman...dunno how much of its true but its SOO FUNNY...English version below.

STORY ONE- FRENCH:

Bon. "Se rencontrer" est un bien grand mot pour qualifier mon entrevue avec Sébastien.
Je l'ai rencontré par hasard à Roland. Il sortait du tenniseum, dont il venait de participer à l'inauguration. Il était accompagné de Tulasne. Quand je l'aperçois, mon sang ne fait qu'un tour. Je bondis sur lui, et c'est là que commence les gag. Près d'un an après les faits, je ne comprends toujours pas pourquoi je lui ai dit ça : "eh, monsieur Grosjean, vous ne voudriez pas faire une petite partie d'échecs avec moi?" (je n'avais pas d'échiquier sur moi...) Là, il se marre (en fait, il a dû me prendre pour une cinglée), et me répond qu'une partie d'échecs, c'est long, et qu'il n'a pas le temps. Je fais quelques pas avec lui, et je lui dis que je reviens de Marseille et que j'ai adoré la ville (c'était vrai). Alors, après avoir jeté un regard malicieux à Tulasne, il me dit : "si tu reviens de Marseille, plutôt une partie de boules"!!! J'étais un peu déroutée, parce que je le pensais beaucoup plus timide! Je lui réponds que ça ne pose aucun problème et je continue à marcher à côté de lui, franchissant plusieurs barrages de vigiles. Derrière, Tulasne était mort de rire, en se demandant comment son protégé allait se débarrasser de ce crampon! De fil en aiguille, je me suis retrouvée devant le vestiaires des hommes. Là, on m'a dit que vraiment, je ne pouvais pas rentrer parce que c'était réservé aux hommes. J'ai répondu que tout l'intérêt était là, mais je ne suis pas rentrée. En remontant, j'ai croisé Hewitt, Mauresmo...c'était rigolo.
Quelques minutes plus tard, j'ai revu Sébastien qui s'entraînait sur un petit court. J'ai attendu la fin de l'entraînement avec les autres fans (moyenne d'âge : 9 ans). Quand Sébastien est venu signer des autographes et qu'il m'a reconnue, il a sourit, et m'a dit : "Encore toi! Tu es terrible!" Je lui ai dit que j'attendais la partie qu'il m'avait promise... Il a rigolé et m'a dit qu'il fallait voir ça avec Thierry, que c'était lui qui s'occupait de ces choses. Et puis, il est parti...

Moralité : en face d'une fille un peu lourdingue, Sébastien Grosjean a su rester calme et gentil ; il n'a pas manqué d'humour, ni de répondant. Il est vraiment sympathique, et plus drôle que dans les interviews.

STORY TWO:
Me revoici donc à Bercy.
Petit résumé : Seb signe des tshirts "Set et Match" à 18 heures ; j'achète le mien et je décide de passer en dernier, pour disposer de plus de temps en sa compagnie.

J'ai ensuite l'idée de peaufiner mon stratagème ainsi : je me dis que passer en dernier, c'est astucieux, mais c'est risqué : Seb aura déjà près de deux heures d'autographes dans les pattes, et mes beaux yeux ne suffiront pas à le retenir. Je décide donc de frapper un grand coup. En voyant dans la queue une centaine de jeunes gens leur tshirt à la main, je me dis qu'un tshirt, après tout, c'est fait pour être porté. Puis, forte de cette conviction révolutionnaire, je file aux toilettes, je me dévêts, j'enfile ma seconde peau, et je retourne attendre sagement mon heure...

J'étais donc nue sous mon tshirt. Malheureusement, je n'ai pas exactement la plastique de Pamela Anderson. Voici à quoi je ressemble. Je mesure 1m 58, ce qui ne fait pas de moi une géante, mais un petit bout de femme assez assorti à notre Bastounet. Je pèse 54 kg : dodue, sans plus. J'ai les cheveux châtains, et les yeux verts-bleus-gris (couleur huître, en gros). Donc, je ne suis pas "une blonde à forte poitrine"...mais d'aucuns me trouvent jolie.

Les bambins font donc signer leur maillot, et Seb, derrière son "comptoir", se prête volontiers à l'exercice. Voici mon tour...
Un rapide coup d'oeil fait comprendre à Sébastien que l'objet de la dédicace ne se trouve pas entre mes mains. Avec un petit sourire, il engage donc la conversation qui suit, et que je raconte le plus fidèlement possible :

seb: donc,..., sur toi...?
léo: -ben oui. Là, c'est bien, ça reste assez chaste...(je lui montre mon sternum ; équipez-vous d'un dictionnaire anatomique, sinon vous allez vite être perdus).
seb: d'accord. Tu t'appelles comment?
léo: -Léonore.
seb: comment ça s'écrit?
léo: l, e, o
seb: n, o, r, e?
léo: tout à fait!

Sébastien écrit donc mon nom ("pour Léonore+ signature"), au niveau de mes clavicules entre mon épaule et mon cou.

Je lui dis alors qu'il peut écrire plus bas, que ça ne pose aucun problème. Là, il relève la tête, avec un grand sourire aux lèvres, mais l'air de dire"qu'est-ce que c'est que cette nana?".

Mon aventure aurait dû s'arrêter là : mon tee-shirt était signé ; Mais, je me suis mise en mode "pilotage automatique", celui qui m'avait déjà menée où vous savez à RG...
Sébastien venait donc de me "tatouer" ; (ça fait un peu SPA ; mais sur le moment, je dois dire que c'était assez sensuel... )

Je n'avais plus rien à lui dire, quand, simulant une deshydratation avancée, je lui dis sur le ton le plus minaudier possible :
-oh, la, la! J'ai une de ces soifs! Je peux t'offrir un coca?
-désolé, là je n'ai pas le temps. Je risque de jouer demain...
-oui, je sais. Je serai là, dans les tribunes, pour t' encourager. Mais j'ai vraiment très soif...Et puis, je vais finir par me fâcher parce que c'est la deuxième fois que vous déclinez une de mes invitations!
-ah bon?
-vous ne me reconnaissez pas?!!??

Toujours en souriant, il se recule un peu pour mieux me voir, et me dit :
-non...mais j'ai une très mauvaise mémoire...C'était où?

-à Roland Garros... je vous avais fait une proposition indécente
-en décembre??
-(???) non, pas en décembre...INDECENTE!!!

Là, ça a commencé à l'intriguer davantage, cette histoire de proposition indécente. Quand je pense que c'est LUI qui m'a fait une proposition indécente! J'aurais dû lui ressortir le coup de la partie de boules, mais je n'y ai pas pensé

-c'était quoi?
-je vous avais proposé une partie d'échecs
-mais je sais pas jouer...

(gros menteur... )

-bon, j'ai vraiment soif. Vous ne pouvez pas me refuser un coca!
-non, je ne peux vraiment pas. Par contre, si tu veux, je peux te faire la bise...

Il se penche en avant pour m'embrasser...et je me recule, parce que je ne voulais pas d'une bise ! D'où l'expression "qui sème le vent récolte le râteau". Cela n'a pas dû lui arriver souvent, qu'une fan refuse un de ses baisers...
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Old 04-14-2004, 08:47 AM   #2
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Default Re: HILARIOUS SEB FAN STORY- must read!

STORY ONE: About meeting him in RG and asking him to play CHESS!!!!!

So... To say i have met Sebastien doesn’t really pay justice in telling you about my encounters with Sebastien. I met him by chance at Roland Garros. When i saw him, i couldn’t believe it. I went up to him and thats when it all started. It’s been a year since this happened, and i still don’t understand why i asked him : « uh, monsieur Grosjean, would you like to play chess with me ? » (I didn’t even have a chessboard with me). He cracked up in laughter, he must have thought i was insane, and he responded with, nah chess takes too long and i don’t have the time.

I kept walking with him and told him that i came from Marseille and that i love this town (which is true). So, after throwing a malicious look at his coach Tulasne, he told me, ‘if you came from Marseille, wouldn’t you rather play a game of boules ! » I was a bit shocked because i thought he was more shy than that ! I told him, ‘no problem’ and continued to walk beside him, pushing through the security guards. Tulasne was dying of laughter at the point, and asked how they would ever escape from me ! After that, i found myself in front of the mens changerooms. They told me i wasn’t allowed in because it was only for men. I told them i wanted to, but i wouldn’t go in. Going back down, i saw Hewitt, Mauresmo...it was funny.

A few minutes later, i saw Seb again training on a small court. I wanted for the end of the training sessoin with other fans (average age : 9 years). When Seb came to sign the autographs and saw me, he smiled and said : « You again ! You’re terrible ! » I told him i was expecting him to keep his promise...He laughed and said i have to speak to Theirry about it, and it was him who takes care of those things. And then, he left...

Moral of the story : when meeting a clumbsy girl, Sébastien Grosjean knows how to keep his cool and stay nice and calm ; he has a sense of humour. He’s really nice and is funnier than he is during interviews.
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Old 04-14-2004, 09:14 AM   #3
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Default Re: HILARIOUS SEB FAN STORY- must read!

SECOND STORY: i dunno how much i believe, but its really...i dunno LOL its funny at the least *shrugs* READ IT!
Meeting at Bercy :
Seb was signing « Set and Match » t-shirts at 6pm, i bought mine and decided to go to the back of the line so i could spent more time in his company.

I then had my doubts about my idea : if i went to the back of the line, it was a bit risky because Seb had already been there for 2 hours for autographs. So, i decided to do something crazy. In the queue, there were heaps of kids there who were holding their t-shirts in their hands, but i thought to myself, t-shirts are made to be WORN !! So, i went into the toilets and returned wearing the t-shirt.

I wasn’t wearing anything under my t-shirt. Unfortunately, i don’t have the same chest size as Pamela Anderson. I’m 1m58, which doesnt make me a giant, but i’m a pretty small woman. I weigh 54 kg : plump, nothing more. I have dark hair, and grey/glue/green eyes. So, i’m not a typical blonde, but in general people do find me pretty.

The kids had their shirts signed and Seb, behind his « counter » seemed happy to be performing the exercise. Then it was my turn...
He looked up quickly to see who he was signing for, but didn’t find anything in my hands. With a small smile, he engaged in conversation, and this is what happened :

Seb : So...on you ???
léo: -Yeah, if you could. There, that’s good- nothing too naughty. (I showed him my sternum ; get yourself an anatomy dictionary if you are already lost)
Seb : OK. What’s your name ?
léo: -Léonore.
seb: how do you spell it ?
léo: l, e, o
seb: n, o, r, e?
léo: yeah, that’s it !

Sébastien wrote my name("for Léonore+ signature"), between my shoulders and my neck. I told him he would have written it lower, that wouldn’t be a problem. It was then when he lifted his head, with a huge smile on his lips, but he goes, « who is this girl ?! »


My adventure would have stopped there : my t-shirt was signed ; but i was in ‘automatic pilot’ mode and i wanted him to make up for what he did at RG...

I didn’t know what more to say, but i suddenly had an idea. I told him in a tone as simpering as possible
-oh, la, la! I’m really thirsty ! Can i have some of your drink ?
-Sorry, i dont have time ! i have to play tomorrow and can’t take any risks
-Yeah, i know i’ll be there in the stands cheering you on. But i really am really thirsty. This is the second time you have turned me down !
-really ?
-You dont’ recognise me ?

Still smiling, he stopped a bit to try and recognise me and said :
-no, but i have a very bad memory. Where was it ?
-at Roland Garros... i made an indecent proprosal
-in December ?
-No, not in December ! INDECENT !

That seemed to get him more interested, this notion of an ‘indecent’ proposal. Then i realised, it was HIM who made me an indecent proposal ! I would have mentioned the ‘boules’ idea to him again, but i had forgotten.
-What was it ?
-I asked you fora game of chess
-but i don’t know how to play

(huge liar...)

-yeah, i’m actually really thirsty. You can’t refuse me some of your drink !
-No, i can’t really can I. Although, if you want i can offer you a kiss...

He leaned in to kiss me...but i went back because i didn’t want his kiss ! I don’t think it’s very often a fan would refuse a kiss from him...
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Old 04-14-2004, 09:47 AM   #4
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Default Re: HILARIOUS SEB FAN STORY- must read!

CRAZY LEONORE !!
What's true, what's wrong, I don't know, but she has a lot of cheek !
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Old 04-14-2004, 11:27 PM   #5
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Default Re: HILARIOUS SEB FAN STORY- must read!

hmmm i think esther now knows what to ask for next year at the aus open lol

i don't know if you want to be reminded but seb can be quite 'risque' like that time in the chatroom which really depressed you afterwards?.....
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Old 04-15-2004, 07:01 AM   #6
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Default Re: HILARIOUS SEB FAN STORY- must read!

*sigh*
oh well

Me and Rachael have competition!! What we did was nothing compared to her!!
Shows how much he actualy remembers tho...
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Old 04-15-2004, 10:27 PM   #7
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Default Re: HILARIOUS SEB FAN STORY- must read!

how can we expect them to remember.... these guys meet thousands of fans around the world every year, each clamouring to be near them, to talk to them
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Old 04-16-2004, 03:26 PM   #8
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Default Re: HILARIOUS SEB FAN STORY- must read!

THE END:

Chères supportrices, chers détracteurs,
voici la fin des mes aventures (en attendant, qui sait, une nouvelle moisson courant mai-juin...)

Je voulais donc que Grosjean m'offre un coca. Il refuse, et me propose, comme lot de consolation, de me faire la bise ; et, étant sûr de son coup, il se penche sur moi pour m'embrasser. Je me recule donc, en disant :
-ah, ben, non. C'est nulle une bise.

Sébastien semblait un peu surpris, mais ça l'a bien fait marrer. Et comme ce fourbe voulait avoir le dernier mot, il surenchérit :
-Ah mais....pas de bise.......pas de coca....!
-dans ce cas, d'accord.

J'aime bien me faire prier par Grosjean pour lui faire la bise! Donc, on se fait la bise. Rien d'exceptionnel, à vrai dire.

Et là, catastrophe! Pendant que je tissais ma toile autour de ma petite puce de Grosjean, de nouvelles groupies étaient venues faire la queue. Alors, un vigile m'a signifié de manière assez claire qu'il fallait laisser la place aux autres, ce que je trouve tout à fait normal, bien entendu. Je me suis donc éclipsée.

Quand Sébastien, après deux heures en compagnie de ses fans, s'est dirigé vers un ascenseur dérobé, j'étais evidemmment sur son chemin.(on ne m'appelle pas le crampon pour rien). Je lui ai alors rappelé le marché que nous venions de conclure...

Et puis, j'ai soudain été frappée par une forte odeur de vin, qui venait des environs de Grosjean. Je lui ai alors posé la "question qui tue" :
-mais, vous avez bu? Parce que ça sent le vin!
Je pense encore une fois que ça ne doit pas être la question qui revient le plus fréquemment chez ses fans. C'était evidemment dit sur le ton de la plaisanterie, et c'est comme ça qu'il l'a pris. Il a recommencé à se marrer et il m'a répondu que non. Et puis il est parti.
Mais un vigile m'est tombé dessus : "j'ai jamais vu un tel manque de respect. Non mais! Oser dire ça à un sportif de haut niveau!"

J'ai compris, à l'haleine de ce monsieur, que c'était lui qui diffusait ce parfum alcoolisé. Si les agents de sécurité picolent pendant le service, où va-t-on, je vous le demande!

Voilà. Si la prochaine fois que je croise Seb, il ne se souvient pas de moi (que ce soit en bien ou en mal), ça ne sera pas de ma faute!
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Old 04-17-2004, 06:08 AM   #9
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Default Re: HILARIOUS SEB FAN STORY- must read!

lol
riiiiight

shes a pyscho!! i like her
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Old 04-17-2004, 09:03 PM   #10
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Worse and worse... lol
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Old 04-18-2004, 12:27 AM   #11
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Default Re: HILARIOUS SEB FAN STORY- must read!

is someone going to give a summary for this curious cat? (moi) lol........
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Old 04-18-2004, 10:39 AM   #12
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Default Re: HILARIOUS SEB FAN STORY- must read!

well apparently she smelt alcohol on Seb...and she was liek you shouldnt be drinking...then he goes i havent seen such disrespect from a fan before!!!!!!! And it turned out to be alcohol smelling perfume or something

so weird.
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Old 04-19-2004, 12:20 AM   #13
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Default Re: HILARIOUS SEB FAN STORY- must read!

well with my lack of sophistication, i'm not sure what perfume smells like alcohol....lol

with the real thing so much cheaper why should anyone make a perfume like that???
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Old 04-20-2004, 09:41 AM   #14
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Default Re: HILARIOUS SEB FAN STORY- must read!

LOL who knows
just adds to the weirdness of the story
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Old 04-20-2004, 10:30 AM   #15
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Default Re: HILARIOUS SEB FAN STORY- must read!

yes - I'm nose-ing around threads cos I love fan stories... LOL.

very funny indeed ..... I can see that Esther is not all that crazy at all! LOLLLLL
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