Dear Safinholics in DENIAL
As co-ruler of the Empire I’d like to state some laws that must be obeyed at all times.
1. There shall be no mention of any girlfriend, as we’re all in DENIAL
and there are no girlfriends in such a safe, cosy place.
2. It must emphasized that bribing will not be tolerated in DENIAL
3. ‘Luck’ means ‘noodle’. Yes, that’s right. Now say it again: ‘luck’ means ‘noodle’. Keep repeating for at least 5 times.
Other forbidden expressions include ‘a little bit’ and ‘bad weather’. There is no bad weather in DENIAL
. In DENIAL
, the sun always shines. Little bits don’t exist either. In DENIAL
, everything is big
4. All Dima drooling must be accompanied by three ‘I worship’. Puddles of drool shall be cleaned immediately so that the Empresses won’t trip. Drooling over Marat Safin and Josh Holloway shall be permitted.
is about feeling good about yourself. Hence no one is fat in DENIAL
6. In DENIAL
, anyone can wear high heels, no matter how tall you are. Even Vass, because no one looks ridiculous in DENIAL
7. Injuries do not exist in DENIAL
. Blisters and knee problems are banned from the Empire and nobody twists their ankle.
8. We import: pretty boys, ice cream, gummy bears and alcohol. We export: humour, hair care and sarcasm.
9. Deminions (DENIAL
+ minions) shall obey these rules, if not followed correctly they shall do penance. They will write down “I worship the Empresses Teodora and Ulla” 50 times or more, depending on the severeness of the crime.
10. The Empire’s official motto is “experience DENIAL
”. This motto must be repeated at every page at least once. “DENIAL
” shall only be posted in the colour ‘dark orchid’ and is to be written in bold at all times.
Ps. The Empresses reserve the right to make addendums to these laws at any time.