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Old 01-04-2006, 07:20 PM   #46
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Default Re: Adam's joke-a-day thread (99% guaranteed to make you laugh)

Too good, Adam
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Old 01-04-2006, 08:31 PM   #47
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Default Re: Adam's joke-a-day thread (99% guaranteed to make you laugh)

the first 2 were poor adam mate, the third was ok but not great. not up to your usual standard, i remember you told one some time ago which absolutley cracked me up. now cum up with a good one and make me laugh.

ps the one told by a previous poster was pretty good, well done male or female.
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Old 01-04-2006, 11:47 PM   #48
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Default Re: Adam's joke-a-day thread (99% guaranteed to make you laugh)

Quote:
Originally Posted by adee-gee
maybe I should take up following Ljubo
why, did you get your head out of rafa's ass already
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Old 01-05-2006, 12:00 AM   #49
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Default Re: Adam's joke-a-day thread (99% guaranteed to make you laugh)

Rafa's ass is big enough for a few heads, isn't it?
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Old 01-05-2006, 12:47 AM   #50
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Default Re: Adam's joke-a-day thread (99% guaranteed to make you laugh)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Fee
Rafa's ass is big enough for a few heads, isn't it?
I dunno, Adam's head is pretty big....
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Old 01-05-2006, 12:52 AM   #51
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Default Re: Adam's joke-a-day thread (99% guaranteed to make you laugh)

Quote:
Originally Posted by GoGoBang!
I dunno, Adam's head is pretty big....

You have a point.
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Old 01-05-2006, 06:34 AM   #52
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Default Re: Adam's joke-a-day thread (99% guaranteed to make you laugh)

Quote:
Originally Posted by adee-gee
Bill invites some friends round for a party, when all of a sudden a little man about a foot tall walks into the room, hops onto the piano stool and starts playing the piano absolutely beautifully. His friend Joe says, "wow that guy is amazing, where on earth did you find him?". Bill responds, "well I found this magic lamp with a genie inside, and he granted me one wish". "thats great, can I use it?" asks Joe. Bill agrees and hands him the lamp. Joe rubs it, and sure enough out pops a genie who offers him one wish. "I want a million bucks" says Joe. Suddenly the room is entirely filled with quacking ducks. Joe exclaims, "hey, I asked for a million BUCKS! not DUCKS! Bill explains, "yes, he's a bit deaf isn't he? You don't really think I asked for a 12 inch pianist do you?"
I think the German version of the joke is better:

Der kleine Simmel
Ein Mann kommt in eine Bar, lehnt sich über die Theke und schaut den Barkeeper herausfordernd an: "Ich wette mit ihnen, daß ich Ihnen und den Gästen das Verrückteste zeigen kann, das Sie je gesehen haben!"

Meint der Barkeeper: "OK, um 1000 Schilling!" Darauf der Gast: "Top!" und nimmt ein 25 cm langes Männchen aus seiner Brusttasche, das über die Theke geht und sagt: "Grüß Gott, meine Damen und Herren, mein Name ist Johannes Mario Simmel. Sie kennen mich sicher, ich habe mich als Romanautor betätigt..."

Die Gäste sind ganz verblüfft, der Barkeeper gibt sich geschlagen: "Hier haben Sie Ihr Geld, aber jetzt verraten sie mir, wo haben sie den Zwerg her?"

Deutet der Gast hinaus: "Bei der alten Eiche im Park habe ich eine Lampe ausgebuddelt, wenn man an der reibt, kommt ein Geist heraus, der erfüllt einem einen einzigen Wunsch." Der Barkeeper stürmt hinaus, nimmt die Lampe und reibt daran.
Kommt mit grossem Getöse ein unglaublich dichter Rauch heraus, daraus formt sich ein Lampengeist der feierlich sagt: "Mein Meister, du hast einen Wunsch frei, aber wähle sorgfältig!"
Platzt dem Barkeeper heraus: "Ich will 10 Millionen, in kleinen Scheinen!" "Dein Wunsch sei Dir gewährt." SCHNIPP! - liegen 10 gegrillte Ferkel am Boden, jedes mit einer Zitrone im Maul.

Überlegt der Barkeeper: "Was soll das?" Plötzlich geht ihm ein Licht auf, er stürmt zurück und keift den ruhig an der Bar lehnenden Gast an: "Ihr Geist hat aber einen massiven Hörfehler. Ich bitte ihn um 10 Millionen in kleinen Scheinen, und er gibt mir 10 Zitronen in kleinen Schweinen!"

Meint der Gast ruhig und mit traurigen Augen: "Ja glauben Sie wirklich, dass ich ihn um einen 25 cm langen Simmel gebeten habe?"
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Old 01-05-2006, 06:36 AM   #53
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Default Re: Adam's joke-a-day thread (99% guaranteed to make you laugh)

Is Adam still telling shitty jokes
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Old 01-05-2006, 09:26 AM   #54
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Default Re: Adam's joke-a-day thread (99% guaranteed to make you laugh)

This is not an original idea as RonE started a similar thread more than a year ago and it has almost 800 jokes.

Original Jokes

Anyways, not to rain on Adam's parade , I will contribute. As my special doctor, Sue, always says: Laughter is the best medicine and we can't get enough of it.

To Be 6 Again

A man was sitting on the edge of the bed, observing his wife turning back and forth, looking at herself in the mirror. Since her birthday was not far off, he asked what she'd like to have for her Birthday. I'd like to be six again, she replied, still looking in the mirror.

On the morning of her Birthday, he arose early, made her a nice big bowl of Lucky Charms, and then took her to Six Flags theme park. What a day ! He put her on every ride in the park; the Death Slide, the Wall of Fear, the Screaming Monster Roller Coaster, ...everything there was. Five hours later they staggered out of the theme park.

Her head was reeling and her stomach felt upside down. He then took her to a McDonald's where he ordered her a Happy Meal with extra fries and a chocolate shake. Then it was off to a movie, popcorn, a soda pop, and her favorite candy, M&M's. What a fabulous adventure !

Finally she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed into bed exhausted. He leaned over his wife with a big smile and lovingly asked, "Well Dear, what was it like being six again ??".

Her eyes slowly opened and her _expression suddenly changed. "I meant my Dress Size, you dumb ass !!"

The moral of the story: Even when a man is listening, he is going to get it wrong.
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Old 01-05-2006, 12:49 PM   #55
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Default Re: Adam's joke-a-day thread (99% guaranteed to make you laugh)

Tough crowd here.

Last joke was a good one Adam!
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Old 01-05-2006, 01:31 PM   #56
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Default Re: Adam's joke-a-day thread (99% guaranteed to make you laugh)

What did the Momma Buffalo say to her child as he left for school?

Bison!



GET IT?!
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Old 01-05-2006, 01:40 PM   #57
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Default Re: Adam's joke-a-day thread (99% guaranteed to make you laugh)

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Old 01-05-2006, 02:27 PM   #58
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Default Re: Adam's joke-a-day thread (99% guaranteed to make you laugh)

Quote:
Originally Posted by mandoura
This is not an original idea as RonE started a similar thread more than a year ago and it has almost 800 jokes.

Original Jokes

Anyways, not to rain on Adam's parade , I will contribute. As my special doctor, Sue, always says: Laughter is the best medicine and we can't get enough of it.

To Be 6 Again

A man was sitting on the edge of the bed, observing his wife turning back and forth, looking at herself in the mirror. Since her birthday was not far off, he asked what she'd like to have for her Birthday. I'd like to be six again, she replied, still looking in the mirror.

On the morning of her Birthday, he arose early, made her a nice big bowl of Lucky Charms, and then took her to Six Flags theme park. What a day ! He put her on every ride in the park; the Death Slide, the Wall of Fear, the Screaming Monster Roller Coaster, ...everything there was. Five hours later they staggered out of the theme park.

Her head was reeling and her stomach felt upside down. He then took her to a McDonald's where he ordered her a Happy Meal with extra fries and a chocolate shake. Then it was off to a movie, popcorn, a soda pop, and her favorite candy, M&M's. What a fabulous adventure !

Finally she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed into bed exhausted. He leaned over his wife with a big smile and lovingly asked, "Well Dear, what was it like being six again ??".

Her eyes slowly opened and her _expression suddenly changed. "I meant my Dress Size, you dumb ass !!"

The moral of the story: Even when a man is listening, he is going to get it wrong.
Mando! as well as a big
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Old 01-05-2006, 02:34 PM   #59
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Default Re: Adam's joke-a-day thread (99% guaranteed to make you laugh)

Quote:
Originally Posted by AgassiDomination
What did the Momma Buffalo say to her child as he left for school?

Bison!



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What did one guy say to his friend who got sucked up a vacuum cleaner?

Sucked in!!!


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Old 01-05-2006, 02:35 PM   #60
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