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Old 05-23-2014, 02:47 PM   #61
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Default Re: Are women turned off by men who are not enough socially active?

They are,definitely.Women are attracted to power(in every shape or form), they don't care for losers.
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Old 05-23-2014, 03:42 PM   #62
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Default Re: Are women turned off by men who are not enough socially active?

Are socially inactive women turned off by socially inactive men and women?
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Old 05-23-2014, 09:10 PM   #63
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Default Re: Are women turned off by men who are not enough socially active?

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Originally Posted by nellis_lv View Post
Just wonderin how confident became synonymous with 'social'.

Some of the most social people I find are also the most insecure.
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Originally Posted by nellis_lv View Post
Their need to be accepted is what makes them social.
Spot on. I completely agree with that.

I find a "less social" man who seems comfortable with himself far more attractive than one who is constantly trying to look like he's the most popular guy around, and needs constant external validation of his ego.

Now, if the guy is really socially awkward... Of course it will turn off most people. It's a pretty natural reaction to have. It's mean, because socially awkward people are probably just as interesting as anybody else (maybe even more), but very few people, male or female, are going to be attracted to someone who is socially awkward.

And if socially inactive means you don't see people, then of course, it's not that people don't like you, it's just that you don't meet them ^^

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Originally Posted by GOAT = Fed View Post
Your last sentence us where the problem lies.

Women's preference in men is very narrow and nearly all women like the same qualities in men. The converse is not true; men have a huge variety of tastes.

So although there may be 1 in 200 women who like introverted men, the chances if meeting her for an introverted man are very low.
Well, as usual, this is so ridiculous it looks like trolling, but I'll still answer because some people actually believe that....
OF COURSE women also have diverse taste, what makes you think they don't? When will you realize that women are not a strange kind of species that you must study, but simply a wide range of individuals with diverse personalities and tastes?
Have you ever stopped to think that maybe, YOU focus only on a certain, very narrowly defined type of women? And that you think men have more "varied" tastes because you are a guy yourself... that's all.

It's not 1 in 200 women who like introverted men, it's much more than this. But there's no big mystery there, really: outgoing people, male or female, tend to be more successful because they meet more people in the first place, which increases their chances to find someone...

And also, our society generally puts a very high premium on sociability and outgoing personalities. Which, I think, is a big mistake. But it's not just for men, it's true for everyone.
A shy, insecure girl will not attract many more men than a shy, insecure guy attracts women.

An introverted girl who is shy and insecure might very well be attracted to an introverted guy, rather than a super-social one. But you wouldn't know, because from what you say about women, you will never notice that these girls exist. They are your "asexual hipsters" or "geeks", probably (except, maybe they're actually attractive and interesting, but you don't bother to find out, and then blame the problem on "women" in general, and claim these are exceptions).

One thing I've noticed, is how men who complain that women "only like a certain type of guy" don't realize that this is because THEY go only after a certain type of women, too.
If you're looking for a highly stereotypical girl (the kind of loves shopping, is always on a diet, spends hours in the bathroom, gives you hell if you don't take her to an expensive restaurant for Valentine's day and only watches rom-coms), then, it's not surprising that these girls might be interested in stereotypical men (the kind who likes to show off and act cocky, tries to look like the coolest and most popular guy around, tries to act in a "macho" way, thinks talking about your feelings is "gay", watches football while drinking beer, and of course, has money to pay for the restaurants and everything else...)

Now, if you think only that kind of girl is attractive, then go for it, and turn into this super-macho guy. But don't claim that it's the only way to get girls in general, because it really isn't.
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Old 05-23-2014, 10:33 PM   #64
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Default Re: Are women turned off by men who are not enough socially active?

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I find a "less social" man who seems comfortable with himself far more attractive than one who is constantly trying to look like he's the most popular guy around, and needs constant external validation of his ego.
Where can I find someone like you?
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Old 05-23-2014, 10:38 PM   #65
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Default Re: Are women turned off by men who are not enough socially active?

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Originally Posted by Roger the Dodger View Post
Are socially inactive women turned off by socially inactive men and women?
Socially inactive women are still trying to find out solutions to their problems. Socially inactive women will always be more social than their male counterparst because women are more likely to deal with their problems tralking to other women rather than trying to solve everything by themselves.
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Old 05-24-2014, 07:49 PM   #66
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Default Re: Are women turned off by men who are not enough socially active?

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Originally Posted by Nole Rules View Post
Where can I find someone like you?
Well... I'd say, probably, in a university library Or at a cinema, but picking up girls at the cinema is not very easy, I admit!


I think, sometimes, the problem is that guys who are insecure and also not very social as a result, tend to forget that there IS an in-between, between being like this, and being a super-popular guy who exudes confidence so much that he may be a bit of a jerk.

In my opinion, there IS a big difference between being confident, and being outgoing and very sociable. You can be an introvert and be perfectly at peace with yourself. You can be shy and still have perfectly healthy relationships with people.

It's not the fact that you're an introvert or that you're shy, that will put off women. On the contrary, it can be very charming.
But what repulses women, is when you are obviously an insecure person with big self-esteem problems, because if she starts a relationship with you, it means she will have to deal with these problems everyday. And it might be very difficult.
This is simply the basis of the saying : "You must first love yourself in order to be in a healthy relationship". I think it is very true.

Now, of course, it depends on people. Some people have the strength to deal with a partner who has low self-esteem, maybe they will complement that person perfectly well.
Or maybe two insecure people can work well together, because they both know what the other needs.
I know that in my case, it doesn't work. I am not the kind of person who has that ability to constantly reassure my partner about himself, if he has self-esteem problems.
It happened to me and I was terrible at this. I did not have the emotional ressources to constantly reassure him. He, on the other hand, constantly tried to reassure ME, which in the end irritated me, because unlike him, I did not "need" it. Not because I am conceited and think I am perfect, but I am the kind of person who trusts someone when they tell me they love me. I may not understand why, but if they say it, then I believe them, I don't need them to prove it to me over and over, and show me that I'm indeed "loveable". I just accept it.
But some people cannot do that, because they dislike themselves, they cannot believe the other person when they assure them that they are loveable.

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Old 05-24-2014, 09:49 PM   #67
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Default Re: Are women turned off by men who are not enough socially active?

Top notch stuff from Sophita in here.
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Old 05-24-2014, 10:16 PM   #68
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Default Re: Are women turned off by men who are not enough socially active?

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Originally Posted by GOAT = Fed View Post
Your last sentence us where the problem lies.

Women's preference in men is very narrow and nearly all women like the same qualities in men. The converse is not true; men have a huge variety of tastes.

So although there may be 1 in 200 women who like introverted men, the chances if meeting her for an introverted man are very low.
Not true.
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Old 05-25-2014, 02:03 AM   #69
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Default Re: Are women turned off by men who are not enough socially active?

Trust in Sophitia's words.
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Old 05-25-2014, 09:06 AM   #70
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Default Re: Are women turned off by men who are not enough socially active?

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Not true.
No, the only way it can be true, is that indeed, introverts have less chances of meeting people because they usually don't go out as much.

It's just mathematics, really.

I know that only too well. Some people tell me I'm "too demanding" or whatever... That's ridiculous. There's not being "too demanding". What are you supposed to do, start a relationship with someone that you "kind of" like, but not really? Does that have ANY chance of working out? I don't think so.

I have already experienced the pain of being in a relationship with someone that I did not like enough. There's not much you can do to fix that, you can't "control" your attraction to someone... He was good looking to me, he was a good person, he was clever, no reason to complain at all. Except I did not love him. And as a result, I was unhappy, and I made him unhappy too. He was more realistic that I was, so I think he had understood that I didn't love him, long before I realized it myself. In the end I realized he was right, because I realized I was sometimes being mean to him for no reason at all(and I'm not a mean person), except that I was kind of blaming him for my lack of feelings (don't know if that makes any sense ^^), which was totally unfair. When I was away from him, I did not miss him much. That was very disturbing to me, and obviously, to him, because he realized it.

So, I know it's not exactly the subject here, but when people say you're alone because you are "too demanding"... I think it's stupid. You are alone because you don't meet enough people to find one person that you will really like.
So if you're an introvert, it makes it all the more difficult, because it takes a lot more effort for you to go out and meet people, do the "small talk" that introverts hate so much, etc...

Have you ever seen this comic? I love it. I'm not THAT much of an introvert (I don't sit around reading all day by myself, I do need a bit more interaction than that). But I can recognize myself in many of these.
http://izismile.com/2013/07/01/comic...an_6_pics.html

Also, this one, I think, is great.
http://themetapicture.com/how-to-int...e-introverted/

I know I definitely have this "energy" thing, socialising with many people exhausts me, I really prefer one-on-one conversation, or small groups. I do feel exactly the kind of alienation at parties that the girl feels in the first cartoon. I tend to feel the need to go home and "recharge" my batteries way more often than most.

It won't help you much with meeting people, I know... But it might help you feel less "inadequate" by showing you that an introvert, or someone who is "not very social", is not a deficient person. They just work differently.
At least, by helping introverts understand how they work, it can help them love themselves more ^^

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Old 05-25-2014, 01:51 PM   #71
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Default Re: Are women turned off by men who are not enough socially active?

i dont men who are Overconfidence, i find it arrogant and condescending = a big turn off and pretty boring
i real man knows what he is worth and dont need to Reduce others with so called Overconfidence.

Humor and witty - big turn on.
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Old 05-25-2014, 02:07 PM   #72
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Default Re: Are women turned off by men who are not enough socially active?

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i dont men who are Overconfidence, i find it arrogant and condescending = a big turn off and pretty boring
i real man knows what he is worth and dont need to Reduce others with so called Overconfidence.

Humor and witty - big turn on.
I totally understand, I hate it when people are so arrogant and overconfident, it really annoys me.
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Old 05-25-2014, 02:38 PM   #73
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Default Re: Are women turned off by men who are not enough socially active?

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I totally understand, I hate it when people are so arrogant and overconfident, it really annoys me.
its a massive turn on and i see it as Insecurity while Pretending to have confident
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Old 05-25-2014, 03:10 PM   #74
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Default Re: Are women turned off by men who are not enough socially active?

yeah overconfidence sucks but every rule has its exceptions.. i wont have a very big problem with an over confident hot young italian man who uses good smelling soap and a lambordini car..
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Old 05-25-2014, 03:23 PM   #75
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Default Re: Are women turned off by men who are not enough socially active?

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yeah overconfidence sucks but every rule has its exceptions.. i wont have a very big problem with an over confident hot young italian man who uses good smelling soap and a lambordini car..
u love italian?

cleo u ever had a boyfriend?
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The reason why the world is in chaos is because things are being loved, and people are being used."

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