I have a problem with a friend and I don't really know what to do - MensTennisForums.com

MensTennisForums.com

MenstennisForums.com is the premier Men's Tennis forum on the internet. Registered Users do not see the above ads.Please Register - It's Free!

Reply

Old 01-29-2014, 10:22 PM   #1
country flag JamieBlake
Registered User
 
JamieBlake's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 1,188
JamieBlake has a reputation beyond reputeJamieBlake has a reputation beyond reputeJamieBlake has a reputation beyond reputeJamieBlake has a reputation beyond reputeJamieBlake has a reputation beyond reputeJamieBlake has a reputation beyond reputeJamieBlake has a reputation beyond reputeJamieBlake has a reputation beyond reputeJamieBlake has a reputation beyond reputeJamieBlake has a reputation beyond reputeJamieBlake has a reputation beyond repute
Default I have a problem with a friend and I don't really know what to do

I play tennis against him every weekend and I always lose, I beat him like 3 times a year, he's not technically better than me or anything (his backhand sucks and I hit like 15 winners with mine in a match if I'm okay) I'm just a fucking mess mentally-wise most of the time (choking, tanking, I just feel bad when I compete in tennis whereas I play really well when I go to class/practice) while he's extremely composed. So I'm beginning to feel really bad with myself and with my inability to beat him to the point that I sometimes have imsomnia the night before the match because I'm just sick of fucking up, and then I just feel horrible after the match, especially if I've led something like 4-0 and then gone on to lose the set 6-4, that literally kills me. The guy is great, always respectful, reliable, and a good friend in general, but I just feel like shit and if we weren't friends I would have definitely given up these matches a long time ago. What do I do?
__________________
JAMES BLAKE - LLEYTON HEWITT - KEI NISHIKORI

TOMAS BERDYCH - PAT RAFTER - ANDY RODDICK - VASEK POSPISIL - ANDREAS SEPPI - ROGER FEDERER


HATE LIST: Uncle Twatni
JamieBlake is offline View My Blog!   Reply With Quote
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 

Old 01-29-2014, 10:35 PM   #2
country flag leng jai
Registered User
 
leng jai's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Oxford (at heart)
Age: 27
Posts: 20,595
leng jai has a reputation beyond reputeleng jai has a reputation beyond reputeleng jai has a reputation beyond reputeleng jai has a reputation beyond reputeleng jai has a reputation beyond reputeleng jai has a reputation beyond reputeleng jai has a reputation beyond reputeleng jai has a reputation beyond reputeleng jai has a reputation beyond reputeleng jai has a reputation beyond reputeleng jai has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: I have a problem with a friend and I don't really know what to do

Start da MTOs.
__________________
WARNING: This signature may contain extreme traces of bullying and glory hunting

TOMMY HASS
0 slams () and 0 finals
0 consecutive weeks at world no. 1
0 consecutive Laureus World Sports Awards
0 times qualified for YEC
3-13 H2H against Rogi Featherer
0-5 H2H against Rafito Nadal
Career low ranking: 1,241 (26.06.1995)
0 fake mullets flaunted in Roland Garros finals.
1 first name in common with Tommy Robredo
leng jai is offline View My Blog!   Reply With Quote
Old 01-29-2014, 10:38 PM   #3
country flag JamieBlake
Registered User
 
JamieBlake's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 1,188
JamieBlake has a reputation beyond reputeJamieBlake has a reputation beyond reputeJamieBlake has a reputation beyond reputeJamieBlake has a reputation beyond reputeJamieBlake has a reputation beyond reputeJamieBlake has a reputation beyond reputeJamieBlake has a reputation beyond reputeJamieBlake has a reputation beyond reputeJamieBlake has a reputation beyond reputeJamieBlake has a reputation beyond reputeJamieBlake has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: I have a problem with a friend and I don't really know what to do

Quote:
Originally Posted by leng jai View Post
Start da MTOs.
Good idea I'll bring my own massagist
__________________
JAMES BLAKE - LLEYTON HEWITT - KEI NISHIKORI

TOMAS BERDYCH - PAT RAFTER - ANDY RODDICK - VASEK POSPISIL - ANDREAS SEPPI - ROGER FEDERER


HATE LIST: Uncle Twatni
JamieBlake is offline View My Blog!   Reply With Quote
Old 01-29-2014, 11:07 PM   #4
country flag out_here_grindin
Registered User
 
out_here_grindin's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: San Antonio,TX
Posts: 10,641
out_here_grindin has a reputation beyond reputeout_here_grindin has a reputation beyond reputeout_here_grindin has a reputation beyond reputeout_here_grindin has a reputation beyond reputeout_here_grindin has a reputation beyond reputeout_here_grindin has a reputation beyond reputeout_here_grindin has a reputation beyond reputeout_here_grindin has a reputation beyond reputeout_here_grindin has a reputation beyond reputeout_here_grindin has a reputation beyond reputeout_here_grindin has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: I have a problem with a friend and I don't really know what to do

take detailed stats between each game. That will help you identify the issue
__________________
Paradorn Srichaphan
Kei Nishikori, Donald Young, Somdev Devvarman, Dustin Brown, Steve Johnson, Yannick Maden
Robert Farah, Clement Reix, Alexander Dolgopolov, Nathan Thompson


Follow college tennis here.. (I am the user Clemson_tennis)
out_here_grindin is offline View My Blog!   Reply With Quote
Old 01-29-2014, 11:18 PM   #5
country flag Htom Sirveaux
Registered User
 
Htom Sirveaux's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2013
Age: 30
Posts: 3,526
Htom Sirveaux has a reputation beyond reputeHtom Sirveaux has a reputation beyond reputeHtom Sirveaux has a reputation beyond reputeHtom Sirveaux has a reputation beyond reputeHtom Sirveaux has a reputation beyond reputeHtom Sirveaux has a reputation beyond reputeHtom Sirveaux has a reputation beyond reputeHtom Sirveaux has a reputation beyond reputeHtom Sirveaux has a reputation beyond reputeHtom Sirveaux has a reputation beyond reputeHtom Sirveaux has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: I have a problem with a friend and I don't really know what to do

Quote:
Originally Posted by leng jai View Post
Start da MTOs.
Except he's ahead frequently here and ends up choking; this is a Wawrinka-style problem. The correct answer that references the Nadal-Wawrinka AO final therefore is that he should hire Magnus Norman to coach him.
__________________
Agassi | Nadal
Almagro | Coria | Ferrer | Haas | Nalbandian | Nishikori | Robredo | Wawrinka
Bautista Agut | Bellucci | Blake | Dimitrov | Dodig | Ferrero | Fognini | Gasquet | Hewitt | Kohlschreiber | Murray | Raonic | Rosol | Seppi | Tsonga | Tursunov | Verdasco
Htom Sirveaux is offline View My Blog!   Reply With Quote
Old 01-29-2014, 11:28 PM   #6
country flag Time Violation
Slacker
 
Time Violation's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Mount Sharp
Age: 35
Posts: 12,021
Time Violation has a reputation beyond reputeTime Violation has a reputation beyond reputeTime Violation has a reputation beyond reputeTime Violation has a reputation beyond reputeTime Violation has a reputation beyond reputeTime Violation has a reputation beyond reputeTime Violation has a reputation beyond reputeTime Violation has a reputation beyond reputeTime Violation has a reputation beyond reputeTime Violation has a reputation beyond reputeTime Violation has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: I have a problem with a friend and I don't really know what to do

Quote:
Originally Posted by JamieBlake View Post
I play tennis against him every weekend and I always lose, I beat him like 3 times a year, he's not technically better than me or anything (his backhand sucks and I hit like 15 winners with mine in a match if I'm okay) I'm just a fucking mess mentally-wise most of the time (choking, tanking, I just feel bad when I compete in tennis whereas I play really well when I go to class/practice) while he's extremely composed. So I'm beginning to feel really bad with myself and with my inability to beat him to the point that I sometimes have imsomnia the night before the match because I'm just sick of fucking up, and then I just feel horrible after the match, especially if I've led something like 4-0 and then gone on to lose the set 6-4, that literally kills me. The guy is great, always respectful, reliable, and a good friend in general, but I just feel like shit and if we weren't friends I would have definitely given up these matches a long time ago. What do I do?
Remind yourself you're not playing GS finals, and there's no logical reason to be that tense in a friendly match. Moreover, if he doesn't do anything better than you, how does he beat you from 4-0 behind? You hit tons of UEs or what?
__________________
“There’s so many athletes, tennis players around the world,” he continued, trying to put his life into some kind of perspective, “they want to be the best in what they do. They want to succeed. Many of them, they don’t succeed in the end. I’m fortunate to have this opportunity and succeed.”
Time Violation is offline View My Blog!   Reply With Quote
Old 01-29-2014, 11:52 PM   #7
country flag alfonsojose
CRY BA**
 
alfonsojose's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: Barranquilla (COL)
Age: 39
Posts: 16,641
alfonsojose has a reputation beyond reputealfonsojose has a reputation beyond reputealfonsojose has a reputation beyond reputealfonsojose has a reputation beyond reputealfonsojose has a reputation beyond reputealfonsojose has a reputation beyond reputealfonsojose has a reputation beyond reputealfonsojose has a reputation beyond reputealfonsojose has a reputation beyond reputealfonsojose has a reputation beyond reputealfonsojose has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: I have a problem with a friend and I don't really know what to do

You're taking it too seriously. I play against my best friend most of the times and he beats me most of the time too. And technically i'm better and beat lots of people that defeat him frequently. I'd say i won 1 in 5 attempts against him. Lately, matches have been getting closer and closer and that excites me a lot Enjoy that. It's a challenge. Just right after the match finishes and i lost, i can barely talk to him since i'm mad. Five minutes later, we're planning what movie we are going to watch later or which bar/pub we are going to hit .

Tennis wise, I'm a brainless ball basher and he's a counter pouncher. If i'm 100%, i beat him. But when i'm not i'm done. From the emotional side, i'm too competitive and that puts lots of pressure on me. Perhaps yo're competitive too. So my advices 1) RELAX 2) Find a b*tch to beat. When my friend can't play, i call another friend who has never beaten me .. Life feels so good after every match . And is not like you lose ALWAYS against your friend. If you make him play good, good for both.
__________________
"Poor is the man whose pleasures depend on the permission of another" .. Madonna

Drooling after Schuettler, Bolelli, Volandri, Starace (short haired version), ToJo, Tursunov, Alves, Davydenko, Djokovic, Petzschner, Ferrero, Simon, Qureshi
alfonsojose is offline View My Blog!   Reply With Quote
Old 01-29-2014, 11:56 PM   #8
country flag JamieBlake
Registered User
 
JamieBlake's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 1,188
JamieBlake has a reputation beyond reputeJamieBlake has a reputation beyond reputeJamieBlake has a reputation beyond reputeJamieBlake has a reputation beyond reputeJamieBlake has a reputation beyond reputeJamieBlake has a reputation beyond reputeJamieBlake has a reputation beyond reputeJamieBlake has a reputation beyond reputeJamieBlake has a reputation beyond reputeJamieBlake has a reputation beyond reputeJamieBlake has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: I have a problem with a friend and I don't really know what to do

Yeah I just get nervous and lose my concentration and go from having a possitive attitude and hitting winners all over the place to playing like an 11 year-old. He also gets in my mind a bit, he's like fucking Sara Errani, yelling come on all the fucking time mostly after silly unforced errors and that makes me a bit mad. I just want to beat him, to ridicule him so much that it ends up being excessive and I crumble down.

Edit: the bitch thing sounds like a good advice And it's just like your situation, I'm a bbb and he's a counterpuncher.
__________________
JAMES BLAKE - LLEYTON HEWITT - KEI NISHIKORI

TOMAS BERDYCH - PAT RAFTER - ANDY RODDICK - VASEK POSPISIL - ANDREAS SEPPI - ROGER FEDERER


HATE LIST: Uncle Twatni

Last edited by JamieBlake : 01-29-2014 at 11:59 PM.
JamieBlake is offline View My Blog!   Reply With Quote
Old 01-30-2014, 12:36 AM   #9
country flag Time Violation
Slacker
 
Time Violation's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Mount Sharp
Age: 35
Posts: 12,021
Time Violation has a reputation beyond reputeTime Violation has a reputation beyond reputeTime Violation has a reputation beyond reputeTime Violation has a reputation beyond reputeTime Violation has a reputation beyond reputeTime Violation has a reputation beyond reputeTime Violation has a reputation beyond reputeTime Violation has a reputation beyond reputeTime Violation has a reputation beyond reputeTime Violation has a reputation beyond reputeTime Violation has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: I have a problem with a friend and I don't really know what to do

Quote:
Originally Posted by JamieBlake View Post
Edit: the bitch thing sounds like a good advice And it's just like your situation, I'm a bbb and he's a counterpuncher.
Well, adjust your tactics when things are not going your way, slow everything down, push to death if you have to
__________________
“There’s so many athletes, tennis players around the world,” he continued, trying to put his life into some kind of perspective, “they want to be the best in what they do. They want to succeed. Many of them, they don’t succeed in the end. I’m fortunate to have this opportunity and succeed.”
Time Violation is offline View My Blog!   Reply With Quote
Old 01-30-2014, 02:16 AM   #10
country flag Sham Kay
Lurrrkin'
 
Sham Kay's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2009
Age: 25
Posts: 12,831
Sham Kay has a reputation beyond reputeSham Kay has a reputation beyond reputeSham Kay has a reputation beyond reputeSham Kay has a reputation beyond reputeSham Kay has a reputation beyond reputeSham Kay has a reputation beyond reputeSham Kay has a reputation beyond reputeSham Kay has a reputation beyond reputeSham Kay has a reputation beyond reputeSham Kay has a reputation beyond reputeSham Kay has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: I have a problem with a friend and I don't really know what to do

Doesn't sound like there are any massive issues with your game. You sound like the type of person that needs to find a routine that suits you and stick to it. Concentrating on a routine will distract your mind from getting in a twist, which is what's causing you to lose against an inferior (sounding) player.

Try a bunch of things till your mind finds its comfort zone. Bounce the ball in a certain way every time you prepare to serve, or swing an air forehand and air backhand as you prepare to get into your return stance, or (my personal favourite) aim to never step on the lines when a point isn't being played. It's not necessarily about being superstitious, it's continuously doing things to engage your mind on something else between points so it doesn't continue to cripple your game.
Sham Kay is online now View My Blog!   Reply With Quote
Old 01-30-2014, 04:44 AM   #11
country flag Mountaindewslave
Registered User
 
Mountaindewslave's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 9,044
Mountaindewslave has a reputation beyond reputeMountaindewslave has a reputation beyond reputeMountaindewslave has a reputation beyond reputeMountaindewslave has a reputation beyond reputeMountaindewslave has a reputation beyond reputeMountaindewslave has a reputation beyond reputeMountaindewslave has a reputation beyond reputeMountaindewslave has a reputation beyond reputeMountaindewslave has a reputation beyond reputeMountaindewslave has a reputation beyond reputeMountaindewslave has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: I have a problem with a friend and I don't really know what to do

what advice can we give someone with horrible mantality?

do you get extremely anxious in regular life? maybe you need some sort of medication. I mean if you're playing this guy like every week all year long and still losing leads so much its a combination of you having a weird mental cap and him knowing he can expect you to suck in big moments

medication
__________________
<3 Roger Federer <3 David Ferrer <3 Juan Martin Del Potro <3 Ernest Gulbis <3

------------------------ <3 Richard Gasquet <3

Rafael Nadal
Mountaindewslave is offline View My Blog!   Reply With Quote
Old 01-30-2014, 05:50 AM   #12
country flag T.C
Registered User
 
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,475
T.C has a reputation beyond reputeT.C has a reputation beyond reputeT.C has a reputation beyond reputeT.C has a reputation beyond reputeT.C has a reputation beyond reputeT.C has a reputation beyond reputeT.C has a reputation beyond reputeT.C has a reputation beyond reputeT.C has a reputation beyond reputeT.C has a reputation beyond reputeT.C has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: I have a problem with a friend and I don't really know what to do

From the first point, focus on the ball and focus on playing each point. Don't think of anything else. This works for me. The only down side is I very often forget the score; fortunately I can always recall each point if there isn't a score keeper.

You should also have a strategy against your friend when you play him next. You've played him enough times that you should know his patterns and weaknesses by now. What works and what doesn't? Then keep doing what works until it doesn't anymore - at the club level, that usually means you can do it until the cows come home. It's probably why your friend keeps yelling "c'mon" because he knows it bothers you and it gets results.
T.C is offline View My Blog!   Reply With Quote
Old 01-30-2014, 06:18 AM   #13
country flag @Sweet Cleopatra
Registered User
 
@Sweet Cleopatra's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: in your nightmares
Posts: 5,106
@Sweet Cleopatra has a reputation beyond repute@Sweet Cleopatra has a reputation beyond repute@Sweet Cleopatra has a reputation beyond repute@Sweet Cleopatra has a reputation beyond repute@Sweet Cleopatra has a reputation beyond repute@Sweet Cleopatra has a reputation beyond repute@Sweet Cleopatra has a reputation beyond repute@Sweet Cleopatra has a reputation beyond repute@Sweet Cleopatra has a reputation beyond repute@Sweet Cleopatra has a reputation beyond repute@Sweet Cleopatra has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: I have a problem with a friend and I don't really know what to do

tell him u dont wanna play again cause you always lose and you wanna remain a friend to him..
__________________
...... .........♥..♥... .. ...........♥..♥.. ♥
...........♥......... ...♥. ..♥...♥................♥
..........♥.......... ..... ... ♥......
................♥
..........♥.......... .............................♥ .
...........♥......... ..... ...........♥..♥.....♥....♥
..............♥...... ..... ........♥..........♥.........♥
...............
..♥... ..... .........♥......♥..........♥
..................... ♥.... ...........♥♥........... ♥
..................... ....♥ ........♥♥...♥.....♥
..................... ..... .....♥........... ♥Rafa Fan 4ever
@Sweet Cleopatra is offline View My Blog!   Reply With Quote
Old 01-30-2014, 12:09 PM   #14
country flag Snowwy
Registered User
 
Snowwy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: A place that's too cold.
Posts: 21,564
Snowwy has a reputation beyond reputeSnowwy has a reputation beyond reputeSnowwy has a reputation beyond reputeSnowwy has a reputation beyond reputeSnowwy has a reputation beyond reputeSnowwy has a reputation beyond reputeSnowwy has a reputation beyond reputeSnowwy has a reputation beyond reputeSnowwy has a reputation beyond reputeSnowwy has a reputation beyond reputeSnowwy has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: I have a problem with a friend and I don't really know what to do

Go to the net :-)
__________________
Peter Polansky
Nestor - Chvojka - Pospisil - Raonic - Peliwo
Snowwy is offline View My Blog!   Reply With Quote
Old 01-30-2014, 12:40 PM   #15
country flag @Sweet Cleopatra
Registered User
 
@Sweet Cleopatra's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: in your nightmares
Posts: 5,106
@Sweet Cleopatra has a reputation beyond repute@Sweet Cleopatra has a reputation beyond repute@Sweet Cleopatra has a reputation beyond repute@Sweet Cleopatra has a reputation beyond repute@Sweet Cleopatra has a reputation beyond repute@Sweet Cleopatra has a reputation beyond repute@Sweet Cleopatra has a reputation beyond repute@Sweet Cleopatra has a reputation beyond repute@Sweet Cleopatra has a reputation beyond repute@Sweet Cleopatra has a reputation beyond repute@Sweet Cleopatra has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: I have a problem with a friend and I don't really know what to do

do u mean go to the internet or tennis net?
__________________
...... .........♥..♥... .. ...........♥..♥.. ♥
...........♥......... ...♥. ..♥...♥................♥
..........♥.......... ..... ... ♥......
................♥
..........♥.......... .............................♥ .
...........♥......... ..... ...........♥..♥.....♥....♥
..............♥...... ..... ........♥..........♥.........♥
...............
..♥... ..... .........♥......♥..........♥
..................... ♥.... ...........♥♥........... ♥
..................... ....♥ ........♥♥...♥.....♥
..................... ..... .....♥........... ♥Rafa Fan 4ever
@Sweet Cleopatra is offline View My Blog!   Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump


Copyright (C) Verticalscope Inc
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.6.8
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
vBCredits v1.4 Copyright ©2007, PixelFX Studios