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Old 11-09-2005, 05:45 PM   #286
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Default Re: Blagues, Humour et Fun

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Old 11-11-2005, 05:37 PM   #287
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Default Re: Blagues, Humour et Fun

(j'ai traduit cette blague et l'ai postée dans le forum anglais... j'espère ne pas me faire lyncher )

George W. Bush se rend dans une école primaire pour parler aux enfants du conflit armé au Proche-Orient. Après son discours, il permet une période de questions.

" Alors, qui a une question? » demande Bush.
Un petit garçon lève la main.
« Oui petit, quel est ton nom? »
« Billy, monsieur le président. »
« Quelle est ta question Billy? »
« J'en ai trois monsieur le président :
1. Pourquoi les États-Unis ont-ils envahi l'Iraq sans le consentement des Nations Unies ?
2. Pourquoi êtes-vous président alors que Al Gore a eu plus de votes que vous?
3. Qu'est devenu Oussama Ben Laden? »

La cloche annonçant la récréation se met alors à sonner. Bush dit qu'il poursuivra la période de questions après la récréation.

Au retour, Bush demande :
« Où en étions-nous? Ah oui, la période de questions. Y a t-il quelqu'un qui a une question? »
Un petit garçon lève sa main.
« Oui petit, quel est ton nom? »
« Steve, monsieur le président. »
« Quelle est ta question Steve? »
«En fait... j'en ai cinq monsieur le président :
1. Pourquoi les États-Unis ont-ils envahi l'Iraq sans le consentement des Nations Unies?
2. Pourquoi êtes-vous président alors que Al Gore a eu plus de votes que vous?
3. Qu'est devenu Oussama Ben Laden?
4. Pourquoi la cloche de la récréation a-t-elle sonné 30 minutes plus tôt qu'à l'habitude?
5. Qu'est devenu Billy?
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Old 11-12-2005, 03:15 PM   #288
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Default Re: Blagues, Humour et Fun

Je l'avais déjà vue en français auparavant
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Old 11-15-2005, 09:17 PM   #289
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Default Re: Blagues, Humour et Fun

Un avocat de la ville de Charlotte (Caroline du Nord) avait acheté une boîte de 24 cigares très rares et très chers et les a ensuite assurés contre le feu entre autres. Dans le mois qui suivit, ayant consommé son entière réserve de cigares et n'ayant pas encore effectué le premier paiement de sa police d'assurance, l'avocat envoya une réclamation à sa compagnie d'assurance.
Dans sa réclamation, l'avocat indiqua que les cigares avaient été perdus "dans une série de petits incendies". La compagnie d'assurance refusa de payer en citant la raison évidente : que l'homme avait consommé les cigares de façon normale. L'avocat intenta une poursuite... ET LA GAGNA !
En délivrant son verdict le juge fut d'accord avec la compagnie d'assurance que la réclamation était de nature tout à fait frivole. Le juge indiqua cependant que l'avocat détenait une police de la compagnie qui garantissait que les cigares étaient assurés et que ces derniers étaient absolument protégés contre le feu sans définir ce qui constituait un incendie "acceptable". Le juge déclara donc la compagnie dans l'obligation de rembourser l'avocat. Au lieu d'avoir à endurer des procédures d'appel longues et coûteuses, la compagnie d'assurance accepta le jugement et paya donc 15'000 dollars à l'avocat pour sa perte de ses précieux cigares dû aux regrettables "incendies".

MAINTENANT POUR LA MEILLEURE PARTIE
Une fois que l'avocat eut encaissé le chèque, la compagnie d'assurance le fit arrêter pour 24 chefs d'accusation d'INCENDIES CRIMINELS !!!
Avec sa propre réclamation d'assurance ainsi que son témoignage du procès utilisé contre lui, l'avocat fut accusé d'avoir volontairement incendié une propriété assurée afin de toucher le montant d'assurance. Il fut condamné à 24 mois de prison ainsi qu'à une amende de 24 000 dollars.
Ceci est une histoire vraie qui mérita la première place aux derniers Criminal Lawyers Award Contest.
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Old 11-16-2005, 08:47 AM   #290
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Default Re: Blagues, Humour et Fun

elle est géniale steph!!!
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Old 11-16-2005, 11:48 AM   #291
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Default Re: Blagues, Humour et Fun

Ah ces ricains
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Old 11-16-2005, 07:38 PM   #292
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Default Re: Blagues, Humour et Fun

C'était quand même une belle tentative
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Old 11-16-2005, 07:54 PM   #293
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Default Re: Blagues, Humour et Fun

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C'était quand même une belle tentative
tu vas nous faire un coup foireux comme ça aussi, toi le futur avocat?
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Old 11-16-2005, 08:00 PM   #294
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C'était quand même une belle tentative
Je trouve aussi, ça ne manquait pas d'audace!
Mais il n'avait pas prévu l'effet boomerang. C'est ballot
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Old 11-16-2005, 08:11 PM   #295
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Default Re: Blagues, Humour et Fun

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ceze
tu vas nous faire un coup foireux comme ça aussi, toi le futur avocat?
Malheureusement, le système juridique belge (ou français) n'autorise pas ce genre de coup
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Old 11-16-2005, 08:23 PM   #296
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Malheureusement, le système juridique belge (ou français) n'autorise pas ce genre de coup
dommage pour toutes tes idées farfelues donc
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Old 11-16-2005, 08:29 PM   #297
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Default Re: Blagues, Humour et Fun

Mais peut-être que je vais aller à l'étranger Le Canada, cela doit avoir un système proche de celui américain
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Old 11-16-2005, 08:32 PM   #298
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Originally Posted by zoltan83
Mais peut-être que je vais aller à l'étranger Le Canada, cela doit avoir un système proche de celui américain
ça dépend. Le québec a un système proche du système français/belge
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Old 11-16-2005, 08:34 PM   #299
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Default Re: Blagues, Humour et Fun

Quote:
Originally Posted by Damita
ça dépend. Le québec a un système proche du système français/belge
Bon ben je verrai bien alors
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Old 11-16-2005, 10:25 PM   #300
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Default Re: Blagues, Humour et Fun

Nico j'ai trouvé une combine pour toi!

La justice Australienne n'a pas pu condamner une arnaque qui a fait la fortune des personnes qui en ont eu l'idée. Une société avait publié des publicités dans plusieurs journaux Australien indiquant qu'elle était spécialisée dans l'importation de films pornos, et qu'elle garantissait depouvoir fournir n'importe quelle cassette ou DVD X.Les prix annoncés étaient très raisonnables et des milliers de clients ont passé commande sans oublier de joindre le chèque.
Plusieurs semaines après que leur chèque fut débité, les clients ont reçu une lettre de cette société leur expliquant que la loi Australienne ne permet pas l'importation de vidéo X et que la commande ne pourra pas être honorée. La lettre était accompagnée d'un chèque de remboursement avec le montant exact de la somme qu'ils avaient payée. Où est l'arnaque donc?
En fait moins de 10% des clients de cette société ont osé aller encaisser leur chèque car le nom de la société émettrice était : " Sodomy, Fetishism & Perversion Corp. ".Et voilà comment une bande de rigolos s'est retrouvée avec un compte en banque grassouillet sans que la justice ne puisse les condamner pour escroquerie ! "
Bien joué, non ?
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