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Old 02-03-2015, 12:25 AM   #1
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Default What kind of relationship do you have with your parents?

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Old 02-03-2015, 01:46 AM   #2
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Default Re: What kind of relationship do you have with your parents?

This is a very deep and revealing question. I don't expect many to reply to this thread or if they do it will not be a serious answer. Maybe MTF will surprise me.

Anyways I guess I will start.

I have a very strong relationship with both my parents and have only appreciated them more and more as I have gotten older. I talk to them about almost anything and both have been incredibly caring and kind to me throughout my life. If it weren't for them I wouldn't be the (what I think) awesome person I am today . Taught me fairly good morals and how to be personable and humble (albeit if I'm less humble on MTF ).

My mum has been the closer parent for me. Strong emotional connection and I'm a lot like her in many ways.

Anyways would love to hear people's answers to this question, whether it is good, bad, or whatever adjective you want to label it.
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Old 02-03-2015, 03:31 AM   #3
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Default Re: What kind of relationship do you have with your parents?

I'll bite. This has the potential to be an interesting thread.

My relationship with my parents will always, to some extent, be unusual and for a long time it was very tense and uneasy, even toxic (I left home at 15). They are flawed, and have made major mistakes which I may have forgiven, but never quite excused them for.

But I've come to realize how lucky I am in some respects, and how unusual they were.

My dad is 12 years older than my mom. They started dating when she was 15 and he 27. Fairly common now, but this was back in 1960. My dad and my mother's father were cousins, so in addition to being my mother's daughter, I'm also her second cousin. Wrap your brains around that.

My mother was "the smart one" of the family, so her parents poured their resources into giving her a university education (she was the only female in her class). She later became a teacher. She was awarded "kongens fortjenestemedalje" (the King's Medal of Merit) in 2012 in tribute to her long service as a teacher and her voluntary humanitarian work. She isn't a royalist (none of us are) but she decided to accept the award due to the honor bestowed on her as well as the reluctance to offend the people who nominated her.

My dad was an only child. His parents never had much ambition for him career-wise, so he went to sea in the 50s. When he came back, he became a chimney sweep. He loved his career and never complained. Throughout my parents' lives together, she has provided most of the income, and it's never been an issue. She loved what she did. He loved what he did. I've never seen vanity on either part. I grew up in a household devoid of gender expectations. I'm tremendously grateful for that. When I identified as non-binary they didn't even blink.

My mother is a very devout Christian (performing regular ministerial duties), and he's an agnostic. They've never been shy about expressing their differing points of view. My sisters identified with my mother's worldview, whereas I have taken after my father. We're a strange, but strangely functional family.
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Old 02-03-2015, 09:33 AM   #4
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Default Re: What kind of relationship do you have with your parents?

Alright, my turn.

Im not speaking with my father for more then 13 years. After the day me parents got divorced. Main reason is his stubbornness to admit that fact, and the fact he called my mother a whore. All I wanted from him to apologised to her after what he said it. I know myself, and I know him, he will never do it. Not because he was wrong, but because that is his way of punishing himself. Or at least what he told me.

As for mother, she and I work in our own small company doing export and import stuff and get along just fine. I admire her resilience and will. After the divorce , she had to sell her mothers apartment so we could find better place to live or city. And from basically having nothing, she managed to secure our future. Not an easy task, two teenagers and one small child , with no job and new city to start everything from beginning. In the end it all went alright.
That's the story.
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Old 02-03-2015, 11:19 AM   #5
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Default Re: What kind of relationship do you have with your parents?

Quote:
Originally Posted by kinski76 View Post
I'll bite. This has the potential to be an interesting thread.

My relationship with my parents will always, to some extent, be unusual and for a long time it was very tense and uneasy, even toxic (I left home at 15). They are flawed, and have made major mistakes which I may have forgiven, but never quite excused them for.

But I've come to realize how lucky I am in some respects, and how unusual they were.

My dad is 12 years older than my mom. They started dating when she was 15 and he 27. Fairly common now, but this was back in 1960. My dad and my mother's father were cousins, so in addition to being my mother's daughter, I'm also her second cousin. Wrap your brains around that.

My mother was "the smart one" of the family, so her parents poured their resources into giving her a university education (she was the only female in her class). She later became a teacher. She was awarded "kongens fortjenestemedalje" (the King's Medal of Merit) in 2012 in tribute to her long service as a teacher and her voluntary humanitarian work. She isn't a royalist (none of us are) but she decided to accept the award due to the honor bestowed on her as well as the reluctance to offend the people who nominated her.

My dad was an only child. His parents never had much ambition for him career-wise, so he went to sea in the 50s. When he came back, he became a chimney sweep. He loved his career and never complained. Throughout my parents' lives together, she has provided most of the income, and it's never been an issue. She loved what she did. He loved what he did. I've never seen vanity on either part. I grew up in a household devoid of gender expectations. I'm tremendously grateful for that. When I identified as non-binary they didn't even blink.

My mother is a very devout Christian (performing regular ministerial duties), and he's an agnostic. They've never been shy about expressing their differing points of view. My sisters identified with my mother's worldview, whereas I have taken after my father. We're a strange, but strangely functional family.
whoa, very interesting, sounds like the first third of a movie plot

BTW, if you're also your mother's second cousin, does that mean your father and hers were first cousins? Children of brothers/brother-sister/sister-sister?

That's incest in my book. Not judging though, as i do realize this has probably been relatively common in this period of time, at many places around the World.

And the Chimney sweep job is awesome! I thought it was a fairytale job, as i have never seen, heard or know anyone who's seen or heard about a person doing this job in real life.

Awesome
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Old 02-03-2015, 11:28 AM   #6
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Default Re: What kind of relationship do you have with your parents?

As for my relationship with my parents - pretty awesome.

They've married young, her 17, him 25, had me first, then my bro 3 years later.

They've worked together for over 25 years. Same building, traveling to work together, eating together, coming back home...all the time together. A nightmare in my eyes, but they've managed and never had any major marital issues as far as the projection they give shows.

We've lived with them abroad, as per job necessity, 8 years France, 3 years Swiss, then they went without us when we grew up, so from my, say 28th Bday, to today they've been home for maximum 2 years combined.

We live in the same yard, they have their house, i have mine, my bro lives in theirs and he's single.

So, overall, never had any major issues, except that both of them are highschool graduates and higher education has never been ppart of the family at all, so i had to take things in my own hands, which is extremely hard when you're not raised and prepared very early for this. So i've failed first, then later on re-enrolled to finally make it. But in the wrong discipline

So now i know how important is that part of raising your children and i'm quite meticulous about it with my own.

My fear is that this fall they come back from abroad for good and my brother will sooner or later get a GF, then marry.

So at such point, from 1 woman (mine) owning, regulating and using the yard, there might be 3...and i will have to be the "diplomat" in the middle, which is quite the job, but i hope i'm overthinking it and everything will be as usual - great.
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Old 02-03-2015, 12:04 PM   #7
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Default Re: What kind of relationship do you have with your parents?

Quote:
Originally Posted by kinski76 View Post
I'll bite. This has the potential to be an interesting thread.

My relationship with my parents will always, to some extent, be unusual and for a long time it was very tense and uneasy, even toxic (I left home at 15). They are flawed, and have made major mistakes which I may have forgiven, but never quite excused them for.

But I've come to realize how lucky I am in some respects, and how unusual they were.

My dad is 12 years older than my mom. They started dating when she was 15 and he 27. Fairly common now, but this was back in 1960. My dad and my mother's father were cousins, so in addition to being my mother's daughter, I'm also her second cousin. Wrap your brains around that.

My mother was "the smart one" of the family, so her parents poured their resources into giving her a university education (she was the only female in her class). She later became a teacher. She was awarded "kongens fortjenestemedalje" (the King's Medal of Merit) in 2012 in tribute to her long service as a teacher and her voluntary humanitarian work. She isn't a royalist (none of us are) but she decided to accept the award due to the honor bestowed on her as well as the reluctance to offend the people who nominated her.

My dad was an only child. His parents never had much ambition for him career-wise, so he went to sea in the 50s. When he came back, he became a chimney sweep. He loved his career and never complained. Throughout my parents' lives together, she has provided most of the income, and it's never been an issue. She loved what she did. He loved what he did. I've never seen vanity on either part. I grew up in a household devoid of gender expectations. I'm tremendously grateful for that. When I identified as non-binary they didn't even blink.

My mother is a very devout Christian (performing regular ministerial duties), and he's an agnostic. They've never been shy about expressing their differing points of view. My sisters identified with my mother's worldview, whereas I have taken after my father. We're a strange, but strangely functional family.
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Old 02-03-2015, 12:32 PM   #8
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Default Re: What kind of relationship do you have with your parents?

An okay relationship. Get along fine.
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Old 02-03-2015, 06:50 PM   #9
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Default Re: What kind of relationship do you have with your parents?

Mom and Dad met in college, she is 2 years older than him

They got married, had me, he was 25, she was 27. But a series of incorrect financial decisions by both, my mother becoming very mean to my father, and my father finally having enough and going onto a woman who made him happy. His 2nd wife, who they had a child, my brother Jake. They have since divorced as well. My father being 0/2 in marriages but having 2 boys from them, has always told me to be careful with women.

Thus ensued the divorce, and my mom took me and moved me like 12 hours drive away, from North Alabama to South Florida. So I didn't get to see my Dad too much from Age 5 to age 8 or so, just living with my mom. Then from age 8 to like 15, I visited my dad in Summer, Winter, and Spring breaks every year, in Alabama, so I got to know him more. But I never understood why he cheated on my mother. He told me when I was older I'd understand. That my mother had changed. From the sweet lady to a mean bitch.

When I got older, 16, 17, 18, I started to realize what he was saying in terms of her becoming unbearable to be around. Once we even almost came to blows. My dad explained that when she feels you are leaving soon, as I was, to college, she tries to make an argument so it is easier to say good bye, fuck off. She is crazy. My senior year, I remember she was gettin' on me one day after school, right after a great practice. And she as going on and on and I was like: "SHUT UP!"

And I raised my hand like I was about to slap the fuck out of my mother. And I kept it there for maybe 3, 4 seconds, before I thought better of it and lowered my hand. "Are you crazy? You would go to jail!" I said nothing, just left the house and got fucked up with my friends.

After leaving for college it got better for me in terms of both parents but I still hated my mom. 3 years later, I moved back to train at home and lived with her 3 more years, and I hated her even more.

It is not until the last year or so when I left for good that I have gotten my mind at ease. With my dad we are cool now, with my mom I try to be civil but she is the ultimate negative person. Within 30 seconds of seeing her I am usually pissed off because of how much of a hater she is. And the rest of the family agrees with me. And my mom wonders why she is 52 years old and all alone. She pushed everyone away.

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Old 02-03-2015, 07:21 PM   #10
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Default Re: What kind of relationship do you have with your parents?

Johnny

I'm an only child, I'm lucky both my parents are alive and together, married for 48 years. I love my mom to bits (she is the best, smartest and kindest person in my eyes of course) and so far I've been able to handle dad too. Despite whatever issues (and in which family there aren't any) I can say I had a happy childhood.

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Old 02-03-2015, 09:34 PM   #11
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Default Re: What kind of relationship do you have with your parents?

Very good relationship with my mom... father died from cancer when I was a kid, don't remember much about him unfortunately.
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Old 02-04-2015, 02:33 AM   #12
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Default Re: What kind of relationship do you have with your parents?

My parents had an arranged marriage, so they met on their wedding day. She was 18, he was 20. Mum more or less ran the household and raised the 3 kids, while dad just worked to bring in the money. In anger my dad has claimed she's free to go away if she doesn't agree with his decisions (not his exact words), while she can't even bring herself to eat dinner unless he's eating alongside her. They've always appeared to be happily married + rarely had any arguments.

My parents have always been quite liberal, up to a certain point, and they've always made a point of how much more liberal they are compared to other Indian parents. I used to find that a good thing and consider myself lucky that they never pressured me into having an arranged marriage, in retrospect I feel like I should've questioned their policies on other issues and paid more attention to those.

At the moment I get along OK with my mother; I can joke about her forgetful memory and ask her about her day, but I won't tell her how I'm feeling because past experience suggests that's not such a wise move. She's rather naive about certain things, maybe a by-product of getting married so young.

I don't get along with my father, I used to be OK with him in the past, but ever since he had a heart bypass 4 years ago he's become very selfish, and he's done a lot of things to make me lose all respect for him.
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Old 02-04-2015, 05:35 AM   #13
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Default Re: What kind of relationship do you have with your parents?

My parents have a very close relationship, and have tried their best to instill their values in both my brother and myself. They met in 1985 while they were both completing their undergraduate degrees and were both fairly popular amongst their colleagues. Their relationship has never had all that much attraction involved, it's much more a case of two close friends who really enjoy each other's company and decided to get married and have kids.

My father works in information technology and my mother owns a small childcare business, so they do reasonably well for themselves. My dad has been extremely involved in my life as well as my brother's life - he always coached our sports teams and went hiking with us and provided support when needed. My mother is similar, although she's always been far stricter on things like school performance and doing chores and maintaining cleanliness.

For the most part, they're the most loving, supportive parents I could've asked for growing up. The one major weak area is as they've gotten older, they've both gotten progressively more bitter and melancholic about the world. Part of this is due to their careers - my father desired to be a cutting-edge scientist or medical technician but has always lacked a feel for how to assert himself in business settings and how to make a positive first impression. The result has been nearly 3 decades of professional underachievement and it's really started to take it's toll on his mentality and satisfaction in life. My mother is the exact opposite professionally, she eventually made it the top of the food chain in her business and works crazy hours to do what she really loves doing, but it's come at the cost of maintaining friendships with others and she's become progressively more judgmental towards employees and clients and random strangers that she meets.

While I'm still very close with my parents, I'm saddened from time to time when I realize that we actually used to be a lot closer than we are now. It's only been a very recent development that my brother and I have started to drift away from them. I remember it started around November of 2013 when my father got suspended from work (basically due to apathy) and my mom took it personally when he said that he wasn't very happy with his life at the moment. Since then, I've found myself becoming a lot closer with friends and colleagues while my parents become increasingly secluded in their growing circle of negativity.
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Old 02-22-2015, 10:26 AM   #14
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Default Re: What kind of relationship do you have with your parents?

difficult relationship with both parents.

They split up when I was 2 years old. Have both been in loads of relationships since. Turned out my mom and dad were still screwing around til I was about 12, at which point they suddenly wanted to try again. This resulted in 2 weeks of fighting, screaming, breaking stuff, and ended in my mom kicking my dad out and throwing all his clothes out the window (literally). It was then when I finally understood why those two never worked.

As for my relationship with them. My mom's an alcoholic with a very evil drunk. Always starts fighting, sometimes physically. I cannot connect with her at all, even though she has been trying over the last few years. From 12-18 I was basically the adult in the house, and all I did was shield my brothers from her shit and moderate arguments between her and my stepdad. I have two half-brothers, both are my moms, we all have different fathers. Very hard to connect with them aswell, they have been damaged by all the fights and constant tension in my mom's home.

My dad..well as long as we have no deep conversations we are ok. As soon as we try to really talk about stuff we hit a wall and usually end up in a fight. He was diagnosed with intestinal cancer in october of last year, which has made me see things in perspective more. Let's just say we get along, but have some issues.
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Old 02-26-2015, 11:38 AM   #15
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Default Re: What kind of relationship do you have with your parents?

I love my parents they are good friend now more than when I was growing up.
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