[arm]

Originally Posted by cinny

Nah, I won't ever get an avatar or signature . I'm just stressed out from writing my Statement of Purpose at the moment, and am just hanging out here for fun with you guys for a little bit .

You can do it! Although I have no idea what a Statement of Purpose is. But I believe in you ajde, cinny!

Originally Posted by The Bulldog

Raquel trying to chicken out already?!

I can sense the fear.

I will let you believe that...

[Lee]

Raquel, I don't want to say this in NT but I think if one of your aptitude is to be a psychiatrist, I would like you to understand this.

My son was bullied starting when he was in third grade. He was 7-8 years old. when he told his teachers about the bullying, or in the eyes of the teachers I hope, those were just kids behaving like kids and told him not to tattletale. Being an Asperger kid, he was totally confused and never trust adults (yes, not just teachers but his parents too) and kept everything to himself and even when I noticed signs of bullying from his peers in his pubescent, he denied it. And you know what happened next.

[star]

Originally Posted by arm

:
That is so cute. Brutus Maybe I wouldn't be so scared of meeting Brutus anymore, even given his size.

You only weigh a couple pounds more than Brutus.

But, don't you remember how Brutus guarded his boys when they were lost and kept them warm when the night turned cold? And drew the searchers toward them?

Originally Posted by Lee

Big dogs have better temperament than small dogs most of the time. IMO, for someone who's afraid of dogs, it's easier to meet a big dog than a small dog.

I know a woman whose daughter had this deathly fear of dogs that was beginning to impact her life. She finally bought a pyrinese/golden retriever mix, and her daughter is improving a lot.

Originally Posted by arm

Fine, I will loose.

















(Gotcha, star, was just trying to get your attention. I know it's lose. )

You did get me! Was gonna write a blistering response.

Originally Posted by arm

No. But the loose/lose situation annoys her a bit.

A lot.

[The Bulldog]

Originally Posted by Lee

Raquel, I don't want to say this in NT but I think if one of your aptitude is to be a psychiatrist, I would like you to understand this.

My son was bullied starting when he was in third grade. He was 7-8 years old. when he told his teachers about the bullying, or in the eyes of the teachers I hope, those were just kids behaving like kids and told him not to tattletale. Being an Asperger kid, he was totally confused and never trust adults (yes, not just teachers but his parents too) and kept everything to himself and even when I noticed signs of bullying from his peers in his pubescent, he denied it. And you know what happened next.

I am sorry to hear this.

[arm]

Originally Posted by Lee

Raquel, I don't want to say this in NT but I think if one of your aptitude is to be a psychiatrist, I would like you to understand this.

I know, I know. And I knew you would have a totally different opinion than mine. And you know why? Again, because of our own life experiences. My whole opinion is based on the my belief that it is very unlikely that this video will have any serious repercussion in the kid's life. It's what I have lived, and it what I saw around me. There are many actions of a parent that could compromise their kids happiness in the future, you can screw up in many possible ways. And yes, making such a video is one of them, but so can many others. Like deciding your little boy , who seems to be a good dancer should try ballet. I just thought that accusing those parents of being bad parents and mean is an exaggeration. But I always said I understood where people who think otherwise came from.

Nobody seems to understand me, though. And by the end of this whole thing, it's getting me a bit upset. I am not changing my opinion.

[arm]

Originally Posted by star

You only weigh a couple pounds more than Brutus.

But, don't you remember how Brutus guarded his boys when they were lost and kept them warm when the night turned cold? And drew the searchers toward them?

Oh I love dogs. And especially Brutus. But me and Rafa, we understand each other in the dog department.

A big dog tried to atatcj me when I was 3 yo...

I know a woman whose daughter had this deathly fear of dogs that was beginning to impact her life. She finally bought a pyrinese/golden retriever mix, and her daughter is improving a lot.



You did get me! Was gonna write a blistering response.




A lot.

I would know a bit about someone after this whole time.

[star]

Originally Posted by Lee

Raquel, I don't want to say this in NT but I think if one of your aptitude is to be a psychiatrist, I would like you to understand this.

My son was bullied starting when he was in third grade. He was 7-8 years old. when he told his teachers about the bullying, or in the eyes of the teachers I hope, those were just kids behaving like kids and told him not to tattletale. Being an Asperger kid, he was totally confused and never trust adults (yes, not just teachers but his parents too) and kept everything to himself and even when I noticed signs of bullying from his peers in his pubescent, he denied it. And you know what happened next.

People don't understand how words of kindness and understanding affect a child. And also words that deny a child's reality also affect them sometimes more than they would ever realize.

So many times children who report being bullied are put off like this. Or told they should beat up their tormenters. Or other impossible things. It just makes me so angry.

I even had a SOCIAL WORKER tell me that a certain child should expect to be bullied because of the way he dressed and looked. She put the onus on hm to dress differently. And that was just a couple of years ago after a lot of attention on the problems of bullying.

It's so maddening. When a little child has the courage to speak to an adult about something, he/she should be taken seriously and treated with kindness.

[The Bulldog]

Don't get upset over it, please. I'm sorry if I offended you in the other thread!

[Lee]

Originally Posted by arm

Nobody seems to understand me, though. And by the end of this whole thing, it's getting me a bit upset. I am not changing my opinion.

I totally understand you, Raquel. But as a vmom, I worry that you will go on belieiving everthing is OK and dandy, makes a decision and have a very bad conseauence as a parent and regrets it or at least keeps questioning yourself. I am still thinking would it be better if I talked to his third grade teacher, or instead of putting him in a special school instead of public school or not even move to US. It may not be rational but that's reality.

When the group of doctors told hubby and I that Jr. has Asperger, they immediately said it had nothing to do with us since his conception or even before. That tells you whenever something is wrong with a child, the parents will normally put the blame on themselves and it's a pretty heavy cross to bear.

[star]

Well, I wrote what I wrote without reading the other thread.

I had an uncle who was a big tease and liked to tease children. I did not like him at all because of that. I didn't understand the teasing and it made me feel bad and distrust him. However, his children who had the same kind of teasing adored him.

He also spanked children, and I was adamantly opposed to being spanked. It infuriated me. It was another reason I didn't like him or trust him. Again, his own children didn't like being spanked, but they still adored him.

Somehow I think it's the love that is felt from the adult that makes a difference (however, in my mind spanking was off limits for every adult,) Loving and nurturing can be done in many different ways and usually the parent figures out what is best for their own child. I'm subtracting parents who are simply mean from all this. Some parents are just bad bad bad parents.

From my experience and training though, I would not tease a child to the point that the child cried or was made unhappy.

[star]

Originally Posted by Lee

I totally understand you, Raquel. But as a vmom, I worry that you will go on belieiving everthing is OK and dandy, makes a decision and have a very bad conseauence as a parent and regrets it or at least keeps questioning yourself. I am still thinking would it be better if I talked to his third grade teacher, or instead of putting him in a special school instead of public school or not even move to US. It may not be rational but that's reality.

When the group of doctors told hubby and I that Jr. has Asperger, they immediately said it had nothing to do with us since his conception or even before. That tells you whenever something is wrong with a child, the parents will normally put the blame on themselves and it's a pretty heavy cross to bear.

Dr. Spock once wrote that only good parents worry about whether they are good parents. The bad parents go blissfully on without worries.

I always liked that quote.

[arm]

Originally Posted by The Bulldog

Don't get upset over it, please. I'm sorry if I offended you in the other thread!

You certainly did not offend me, George. It's ok to disagree and it is what I have been saying for hours now. I totally understand your opinion and arguments. I just happen to think that while being right, it's exaggerated. And what almost upsets me, is that regardless of my million arguments and claims, nobody really dared think twice if I might have a point.

Originally Posted by Lee

I totally understand you, Raquel. But as a vmom, I worry that you will go on belieiving everthing is OK and dandy, makes a decision and have a very bad conseauence as a parent and regrets it or at least keeps questioning yourself.

You know me better than that. "Going on believing that everything is ok" is not my type and would never be the way I would parent my children. That is absolutely not my point. I know I am bad with words, I just didn't know I would be this bad at expressing myself. n.

I am still thinking would it be better if I talked to his third grade teacher, or instead of putting him in a special school instead of public school or not even move to US. It may not be rational but that's reality.

When the group of doctors told hubby and I that Jr. has Asperger, they immediately said it had nothing to do with us since his conception or even before. That tells you whenever something is wrong with a child, the parents will normally put the blame on themselves and it's a pretty heavy cross to bear.

I know! And I know, or imagine, how hard it is to be a parent. And the better parent you are, the more you question yourself and your decisions. And for the record, I think you are an amazing mom. And there is no way I could make you question yourself or doubt your decisions less, because that's only a consequence of being a good parent.

[arm]

Originally Posted by star

Dr. Spock once wrote that only good parents worry about whether they are good parents. The bad parents go blissfully on without worries.

I always liked that quote.

I would say great minds think alike. But I guess I really shouldn't, right now, given the circumstances. Anyway, I wrote that before I read your post.

[The Bulldog]

Okay. That's good to know. However, I would not be comfortable in that position. Children have feelings that can be hurt, just as much as adults have.

We should change the subject, though. We seem to have reached a stalemate.

Anything planned for the upcoming week?

[star]

Originally Posted by The Bulldog

Okay. That's good to know. However, I would not be comfortable in that position. Children have feelings that can be hurt, just as much as adults have.

Plus they are pretty defenseless and powerless.

Why don't you post some pictures of really handsome men? That usually changes the subject.