MTF Bios - When you're bored as fuck waiting for Olympics. Today: Dustin Brown
IMPORTANT NEWS
Mr Dustin Brown, the legend himself, read the MTFBio and announced it into his twitter, give it a look:
Thank you so much, Dustin, i'm glad you enjoyed it, you're a legend of the game and your Bio was a big pleasure to make.
Also thank you Scoobs for posting it here
Okay, here's the bio:
Hello, my beautiful bacon-flavored gummy bears. It's Professor Johnny Viruz and this is:
Today:
Dustin Brown
Oops! Sorry!
This is MTF Bios and not that fake biography you can read on the Internet. So, here we're gonna tell you the REAL story about Dustin Brown.
Dustin Brown was born in mid 1984 in Trenchtown, Kingston, Jamaica. He's the son of legendary reggae singer Bob Marley.
- Sorry to interrupt you, but he was born in Germ...
- SHUT UP!!!! This is the REAL story, i'm working, dude, let me do it without your bitching
- But... You're wrong! He's a germ...
- YOU-BETTER-SHUT-YOUR-ASS-UP
As I was saying...
We all know Bob Marley had a loooot of kids, most of them reggae singers.
You're probably asking: "WEITAMINET you motherfuckin faker, if he's Marley's son why is his surname Brown?"
- Yeah... That's exactly what i'm asking... I also don't know how he could be a son of Bob Marley because he was dead in 1984. - OKAY, PIECE O' SHIT... I'm so fuckin tired of you. NO! Bob M wasn't dead, that was a fake rumour, the boss is still alive. And YES! his surname is brown because his step dad was James Brown, now please... SHUT UP!!!!
When he was 10 years old, Mini-Dustin started to love tennis, but James Brown wanted him to be a soul-vocalist... Dustin prefered to be a guy like Sampras over a guy like his dad.
So, because of that, he was sent to live in Jamaica again, this time, by himself.
He learned Rastafarian culture, how to make a joint, how to love reggae music and specially, how to play tennis.
Before Dustin, tennis in Jamaica was somthing like this:
And now, it's something like this:
(see? Now there's no hat!)
STYLE OF PLAY
Dustin has a Ph. D from the Monfils university, that means, the guy can play really beautiful points, dominate his rival beeing 6-0 5-0, and then blew so many chances you would need the entire population of Jamaica to count them.
Eventually losing the match 6-0 6-7 6-7.
Or, he can reach his super-dreddy form and win over Fedalovic-fusion-into-one-player and win 6-0 6-2 6-0 6-4 (best of 7)
But we're so good guys, let's look at his tennis weapons in YouTube:
As you can see: The guy can hit the ball with a powerful two handed backhand and a beautiful one-hander it's like Nalbandian having intense brutal sex with Gasquet and having a black rastafarian child. (Oh Richard, how could you? )
One of his signatures shots is the "Weird-return of serve", with that weapon he can hurt even the most talented playrs like Baghdatis or Berlocq:
(Skip to minute 6:20)
But his most lethal weapon is the DEADLY FOREHAND:
In 2010, Dustin Brown decided to play under the german flag.
- ...Okay ...Why?
ARE YOU REALLY ASKING?!?!!
Because this:
And this:
And of course, the final reason, to live everybody's dream.
Becoming this guy:
(Oh come on, German people, don't get mad. You know we all want to become that guy once in our lives)
__________________
♕ FEDERER ♕
TSONGA - HEWITT - DR. IVO Warlocq - Ferrer - Isner - Brown - Nalbandian - Blake - Fish - Gasquet - Monfils - Stepanek - Raonic - Baker
Harrison - Soderling - Wawrinka - Dimitrov - Davydenko - Russell - Andreev - Stebe - Haas - Schwank - Kuznetsov - Goffin THE STRONGAWAGON
Re: MTF Bios - When you're bored as fuck waiting for Olympics. Today: Dustin Brown
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by Aloevera
Murray couldn't express it much better than that... he looks so relieved like someone who takes a powerful laxative to free himself from years of severe constipation.
Re: MTF Bios - When you're bored as fuck waiting for Olympics. Today: Dustin Brown
__________________
When you walk through a storm
hold your head up high
And don't be afraid of the dark.
At the end of a storm is a golden sky
And the sweet silver song of a lark.
Walk on through the wind,
Walk on through the rain,
Tho' your dreams be tossed and blown.
Walk on, walk on with hope in your heart
And you'll never walk alone, You'll never, ever walk alone.
Re: MTF Bios - When you're bored as fuck waiting for Olympics. Today: Dustin Brown
Bored viruzz is an asset to MTF
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WARNING: This signature may contain extreme traces of clownishness and glory hunting
TOMMY HASS 0 slams () and 0 finals 0 consecutive weeks at world no. 1 0 consecutive Laureus World Sports Awards 0 times qualified for YEC 2-10 H2H against Rogi Featherer 0-5 H2H against Rafito Nadull
Career low ranking: 1,241 (26.06.1995) 0 fake mullets flaunted in Roland Garros finals. 1 first name in common with Tommy Robredo
MTF Bios - When you're bored as fuck waiting for Olympics. Today: Dustin Brown
MTF Bios - When you're bored as fuck waiting for Olympics. Today: Dustin Brown
)
FEDERER 
GASQUET 
GOFFIN
) and 0 finals 
I want him to stick around as long as possible.
