[Naudio Spanlatine]

Originally Posted by Punky

was - thats the most important Dee right? ur so much better now

I thought i was never gonna make it in my life, i was very suicidal. I dunno, i was bullied most of my life. I had family issues, and going to a "so-called" godly church was worst, because as soon as i put the "lesbian" as my orientation, one lady told the whole church about it. I mean wtf was she doing staring at my business. I wasnt ashamed or anything, but for this person to make a big fcuking deal about it made me so pissed. I was close to suicide on my 19 birthday which was years ago because of a guy who cheated on me. I will never forget that.

Im grateful to have a mother in my life, she was the only person that understood me the most. Im also grateful that i have to admit, i might have found peace in my life.

[Nathaliia]

Originally Posted by Naudio Spanlatine

I thought i was never gonna make it in my life, i was very suicidal. I dunno, i was bullied most of my life. I had family issues, and going to a "so-called" godly church was worst, because as soon as i put the "lesbian" as my orientation, one lady told the whole church about it. I mean wtf was she doing staring at my business. I wasnt ashamed or anything, but for this person to make a big fcuking deal about it made me so pissed. I was close to suicide on my 19 birthday which was years ago because of an guy who cheated on me. I will never forget that.

you had a lot of other problems which are enough to make one get depressed, without the need of any substances

i'm pretty sure when you grow up and look back, you'll know you learnt to be tough, to rely on yourself, and you'll get hell of confidence that nothing can defeat you
it also eases up relations with human if you're confident

[Punky]

Originally Posted by Nathaliia

i guess it might depend on geographical zone, here my friends simply grow up of alcohol after graduating from uni, while weed really ruined lives of a few people i cared about, including my family member, so i'm not even tempted to ever try

just got completely lazy, satisfied with social welfare or cleaning toilets in holland or uk, or working in the cheapest supermarkets in poland, all college dropouts or didn't even bother to apply if they started smoking at highschool

world is beautiful when they smoke and when i tried to talk with them, they went aggressively on me, that weed is great, i am stupid for never trying and that their life is just fine because they feel free



i guess if you do that once in blue moon, it won't hurt, but if my friends chose to have a regular instead of a beer while going out, it was a quick way in one direction

i guess some of them will wake up one day to later and think, wheres my life? b/c they will have a problem remembering what happend.

i never touched a Cigarette, any kind or had a drink, if ppl wanna do it its their thing, i cant stand the smell of a drink and it makes me such a weird person but my friends are used to it.

i wonder hows the feeling of getting really really drunk

[Punky]

Originally Posted by Naudio Spanlatine

I thought i was never gonna make it in my life, i was very suicidal. I dunno, i was bullied most of my life. I had family issues, and going to a "so-called" godly church was worst, because as soon as i put the "lesbian" as my orientation, one lady told the whole church about it. I mean wtf was she doing staring at my business. I wasnt ashamed or anything, but for this person to make a big fcuking deal about it made me so pissed. I was close to suicide on my 19 birthday which was years ago because of a guy who cheated on me. I will never forget that.

Im grateful to have a mother in my life, she was the only person that understood me the most. Im also grateful that i have to admit, i might have found peace in my life.

and look at u now?

im sorry u had such a bad time in the past but u have Climbed a mountain and ur here studing and living ur life.

if u have a bad day just take it one day at a time, think of it as tennis, one point at a time, win the game then the set and then match.

and of course block yourself from ppl who harmful you, Verbal, physical and mental

[Naudio Spanlatine]

Originally Posted by Nathaliia

you had a lot of other problems which are enough to make one get depressed, without the need of any substances

Yea most of my friends in middle and/or high school either went into prositution, or became single mothers or even did alot of hardcore drugs and drinking. I witness so many things that i never thought i would witness. But yea im surprised that i didnt end up like most of my friends.

i'm pretty sure when you grow up and look back, you'll know you learnt to be tough, to rely on yourself, and you'll get hell of confidence that nothing can defeat you
it also eases up relations with human if you're confident

I do still till this day look back in my life and try to understand how in the world did i live through this. I think what amazes me is the fact that even though i have been used and abused and crushed so many times, i end up getting back on my feet. Not alot of people can do that. Like i said im very grateful to have learn alot about myself and learn how to accept the mistakes that i have made in my past. Nowadays im trying my best to be positive and stay strong. Years ago i wouldve never had a positive thing in my mind. I would've been stuck in the fog.

[Nathaliia]

Originally Posted by Punky

i guess some of them will wake up one day to later and think, wheres my life? b/c they will have a problem remembering what happend.

i never touched a Cigarette, any kind or had a drink, if ppl wanna do it its their thing, i cant stand the smell of a drink and it makes me such a weird person but my friends are used to it.

i wonder hows the feeling of getting really really drunk

i can understand you
i can't stand cigarettes and don't imagine myself smoking them

i used to drink more, but limited now to really important socializing events (had a huge hangover after my new uni group meeting, so i am *not* looking forward to the next one )

[Naudio Spanlatine]

Originally Posted by Punky

and look at u now?

im sorry u had such a bad time in the past but u have Climbed a mountain and ur here studing and living ur life.

if u have a bad day just take it one day at a time, think of it as tennis, one point at a time, win the game then the set and then match.

and of course block yourself from ppl who harmful you, Verbal, physical and mental

I had to keep reminding myself that i did climb a huge mountain. I had to remind myself that look everyone makes mistakes that doesnt mean you should let these wounds stay on you forever. I agree with the tennis part. I need to take my time, take it point by point. Yes i did block those people outta of my life. I didnt let the demons get a hold of me. I learned how to take things slow and stay focus and positive.

[Punky]

Originally Posted by Nathaliia

i can understand you
i can't stand cigarettes and don't imagine myself smoking them

i used to drink more, but limited now to really important socializing events (had a huge hangover after my new uni group meeting, so i am *not* looking forward to the next one )

why u used to drink more/ b/c u liked it or there's a different reason?

and well even when im in a socializing events i drink OJ or Cc, im always holding my ground.

not easy but im what im...

[Nathaliia]

Originally Posted by Naudio Spanlatine

Yea most of my friends in middle and/or high school either went into prositution, or became single mothers or even did alot of hardcore drugs and drinking. I witness so many things that i never thought i would witness. But yea im surprised that i didnt end up like most of my friends.



I do still till this day look back in my life and try to understand how in the world did i live through this. I think what amazes me is the fact that even though i have been used and abused and crushed so many times, i end up getting back on my feet. Not alot of people can do that. Like i said im very grateful to have learn alot about myself and learn how to accept the mistakes that i have made in my past. Nowadays im trying my best to be positive and stay strong. Years ago i wouldve never had a positive thing in my mind. I would've been stuck in the fog.

you're such a fantastic person
last year i liked you for being a funny hot mess, now i see a strong woman in front of me, also way more articulate
you're a really inspiring person

do you have a bf/gf now?

[Punky]

Originally Posted by Naudio Spanlatine

I had to keep reminding myself that i did climb a huge mountain. I had to remind myself that look everyone makes mistakes that doesnt mean you should let these wounds stay on you forever. I agree with the tennis part. I need to take my time, take it point by point. Yes i did block those people outta of my life. I didnt let the demons get a hold of me. I learned how to take things slow and stay focus and positive.

i think ur on the Right direction

[Naudio Spanlatine]

Originally Posted by Nathaliia

you're such a fantastic person
last year i liked you for being a funny hot mess, now i see a strong woman in front of me, also way more articulate
you're a really inspiring person

do you have a bf/gf now?

Thanks , i didnt think i would be an inspiration to anyone. I just thought that i should express what my life was about and be more realistic than just saying "oh i lived a fabulous life, i never had anything happened to me". Not only does that leave me to be in denial but it makes a person say, well i guess shes too dam perfect for us to hang with. I was a hot mess imo, i was harshly defending myself in every way possible to get acceptance in this forum. I worked too dam hard to let a person treat me like shit.

No, im currently single. I dunno if im ready to be in a relationship right now. I still have some things to work on about myself. But hopefully one day Mr. Right will love me for who i am. I do however have a vWife that i love.

Originally Posted by Punky

i think ur on the Right direction

Yea i feel like im heading in the right direction. I believe that patience is the key to enjoying life in the most simplest way.

[Nathaliia]

Originally Posted by Punky

why u used to drink more/ b/c u liked it or there's a different reason?

and well even when im in a socializing events i drink OJ or Cc, im always holding my ground.

not easy but im what im...

is drinking alcohol common in Israel? perhaps yes, given the fact a lot of your people come from Poland and Russia

i drank more because at highschool we thought we were god knows what big adults also it was easier to break the ice in social relations, to get friends (i'm a very shy person... yeah ) and i think i'm a much better dancer after alcohol (not very wasted, but after a few drinks) like my body is more relaxed and i feel more confident in high heels

in Poland we typically drink socially to get to know someone better. People are more honest, tell you some secrets, beliefs... it helps building a bond that normally is protected by "firewall"

For some time I also drank because I had depression and wanted to rather focus on having a hangover than on having depression fortunately I never allowed this to be drinking on a too big scale. Depression-caused drinking is dangerous, can develop into alcoholism, and I was very aware of it, and never allowed it to get even close to crossing the line.

Alcohol I can not drink for months, I am only addicted to coffee that I can't fight I'm glad I reduced it that on majority of days I don't go over one cup in the morning (when I'm at the uni or must write article in the evening I may have a second, at worst third one but these are rare cases). But still I'm aware it's an addiction and I don't know replacement for it, and can't resign completely

[Naudio Spanlatine]

Originally Posted by Nathaliia

is drinking alcohol common in Israel? perhaps yes, given the fact a lot of your people come from Poland and Russia

i drank more because at highschool we thought we were god knows what big adults also it was easier to break the ice in social relations, to get friends (i'm a very shy person... yeah ) and i think i'm a much better dancer after alcohol (not very wasted, but after a few drinks) like my body is more relaxed and i feel more confident in high heels

When i drunk alcohol, i thought i was on top of the world. I was gonna get more friends and have bfs and what not. Alcohol was like a Dad i never had. I do have a dad but he was a very messed up man. But drinking alcohol aint gonna get you no where, all it does is swallow you up and spit you out.

in Poland we typically drink socially to get to know someone better. People are more honest, tell you some secrets, beliefs... it helps building a bond that normally is protected by "firewall"

For some time I also drank because I had depression and wanted to rather focus on having a hangover than on having depression fortunately I never allowed this to be drinking on a too big scale. Depression-caused drinking is dangerous, can develop into alcoholism, and I was very aware of it, and never allowed it to get even close to crossing the line.

Same here, i knew what was going on with me. I wanted to take the pain, but i didn't allow myself to take that risk. I learned alot about addiction by watching a biography show called "Intervention". I love this show because it taught me so much how to not let small things ruin you in big ways. But most people have a hard time going pass it. It stays with them like a tattoo, till that person is ready to let go. But its great that you didnt let yourself be harmed.

Alcohol I can not drink for months, I am only addicted to coffee that I can't fight I'm glad I reduced it that on majority of days I don't go over one cup in the morning (when I'm at the uni or must write article in the evening I may have a second, at worst third one but these are rare cases). But still I'm aware it's an addiction and I don't know replacement for it, and can't resign completely

I dunno how can anyone drink coffee, i tried to get into coffee, but after a month and a half, i couldnt do it any more. I either nowadays drink tea, juice and some water.

[Punky]

Originally Posted by Nathaliia

is drinking alcohol common in Israel? perhaps yes, given the fact a lot of your people come from Poland and Russia

lol it is more Common among ppl that their family came from Poland and Russia.

ppl in here drink most on the weekend, u wont see pubs open During the day and i was when i visit europe and saw ppl go to a pub after work, in here u go home to ur family, at night u go to a pub but not when theres work after.

Originally Posted by Nathaliia

i drank more because at highschool we thought we were god knows what big adults also it was easier to break the ice in social relations, to get friends (i'm a very shy person... yeah ) and i think i'm a much better dancer after alcohol (not very wasted, but after a few drinks) like my body is more relaxed and i feel more confident in high heels

i guess a lot of teens drink b/c of that but well a lot of ppl from my school were my family, in fact i had 2 Cousins in my class and a few Neighbors so i didnt need to drink to get accepted, i guess in a way i was super lucky and in a way they Always defended & protected me, i was always near family so i know my back is always safe.
it would have never Imagine u as a shy person... u seem pretty Confident.
i think most ppl THINK they are better dancer after a few drinks i guess ur mind feel more relax so it makes ur body move different

in Poland we typically drink socially to get to know someone better. People are more honest, tell you some secrets, beliefs... it helps building a bond that normally is protected by "firewall"

i thought ppl drink there more b/c its so cold

For some time I also drank because I had depression and wanted to rather focus on having a hangover than on having depression fortunately I never allowed this to be drinking on a too big scale. Depression-caused drinking is dangerous, can develop into alcoholism, and I was very aware of it, and never allowed it to get even close to crossing the line.

Did you get over ur depression? You're absolutely right alcohol and depression is a deadly combination, im glad u were aware of it and didnt let it get into u.

Originally Posted by Nathaliia

Alcohol I can not drink for months, I am only addicted to coffee that I can't fight I'm glad I reduced it that on majority of days I don't go over one cup in the morning (when I'm at the uni or must write article in the evening I may have a second, at worst third one but these are rare cases). But still I'm aware it's an addiction and I don't know replacement for it, and can't resign completely

coffee is also mu addiction, im trying everything and nothing works
i used to drink 9 but now i drink 5...still a lot..

well make it a 6...

[Slasher1985]

Oh, we're talking about habits here. Here's mine:

Alcohol: Once in a few months, and only a beer at a party or watching football. Not addicted in any way.
Cigarettes: Never ever ever ever ever ever
Drugs: See above
Coffee: I will never drink coffee. I find other ways to refresh myself. Can't stand the taste either.