[Roger the Dodger]

What is the value of marriage for people these days? Does anyone really care? There are so many I know who are into non-committal relationships, so many who prefer to remain single. Then there are so many who file for divorce. And what does one need to marry for anyways? - nothing is sacrosanct anymore in the urban world culture. If you singularly love a person, you can stay with him/her for a lifetime (even some species of animals and birds are known to mate for life) without anyone interfering and fulfill all your lover's needs - all this can be done without marriage too. So what do we need this tradition for? Or will only the legal part of marriage - 'the contract' and paperwork hold value in the future while the emotional part of marriage disintegrate to dust?

Is Marriage on its way down?

[Ilovetheblues_86]

Well my personal opinion is that marriage is very important when it comes to raising children- i mean- not in the sense that you have to be married to have a child, but that
its an important status for a couple that decides that want the children.It creates some legal consequences such as the heritage, and the family realty ( which in my country cannot be pawned). A marriage creates a lot of legal consequences and facilities (getting member of clubs, private medical insurance etc).

Thats even one of the reasons why gay couples want to be married, to have more rights for themselves and for their (adopted or not) children.

But of course when it comes to having only a relationship people arent as eager to be married anymore. So I think marriage basically wont disappear but will have more and more a social function to constitute a stronger familiar nucleum, whatever this means.

The emotional part of the marriage is just a post-romantic stance. Remember that in medieval times marriages were arranged, with the solely purpose of creating a new familiar nucleum, a new "house" or clan- spreading the power and ultimately, creating descendants.
You can have romance without marriage.

[Topspindoctor]

Marriage gives one a sense of obligation and commitment. If I ever choose to marry, it will be for life with no playing around. If you are against marriage, then don't marry. Simple.

[Filo V.]

There are reasons why marriage is important, and there are reasons why I believe marriage is an outdated, patriarchal, fundamentally backwards and hyper-conservative institution. I partially agree that the government should not regulate marriage. But there are fundamental reasons why they do. Marriage has ALWAYS been a legal institution first and foremost. There are legitimate reasons for that. There are reasons why people want to symbolize their relationships by getting married. But personally, I'm not into it.

[Roger the Dodger]

Thanks for your answers.

Originally Posted by Ilovetheblues_86

Well my personal opinion is that marriage is very important when it comes to raising children- i mean- not in the sense that you have to be married to have a child, but that
its an important status for a couple that decides that want the children.It creates some legal consequences such as the heritage, and the family realty ( which in my country cannot be pawned). A marriage creates a lot of legal consequences and facilities (getting member of clubs, private medical insurance etc).

But children from a divorce have also been brought up successfully, at least helped by staying with the parent of their choice - which basically proves that a single adult presence is sufficient to raise a child (provided it has passed the stage of biological maternal needs). Besides, children from divorce also enjoy the necessary privileges because the government imposes some rules and responsibilities on the parents too.

I was in fact thinking if the scenario for marriage in the future might openly, legally become something like a divorce itself. What if the institution of Marriage in the future was reduced to an association for few years during which the couple mate, bear or adopt children and then part ways but continue to fulfil the responsibilities that go with their part of being a parent? Of course, they would not call it 'divorce' but classify it as something else, like 'Five-year fidelity contract' perhaps; but given the temperament of most modern people today, for whom emotional bonds are not important, and fidelity isn't moral priority, most of them might prefer such formal alliance instead of the traditional form of marriage itself.

Thats even one of the reasons why gay couples want to be married, to have more rights for themselves and for their (adopted or not) children.

Filo, do you agree with Ilovetheblues? Is this the primary reason you are bandwagoning Obama's drive for gay marriage?

[Jamoz]

Married for ten years. My wife is

[Filo V.]

Yes, for obvious reasons since around 40% of same-sex couples have children, and 20% of single gay folk do. Being married would be very helpful since as of right now same-sex couples are not federally recognized and that causes penalties in tax, health care, social security, among many other things.

[Roger the Dodger]

Originally Posted by Jamoz

Married for ten years. My wife is

Nice to see someone caring about the emotional side of marriage.

If you have one nice lasting marriage, you are lucky because most people in the future might not care about the companionship aspect of marriage but more so about the legal benefits of marrying.


Also, thank you Filo V. for your answer.