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Old 03-04-2012, 07:10 AM   #46
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Default Re: Exclusive, monogamous relationships are disgusting.

i don't know Filo V maybe because people are not all sluts and have hearts and care to an extreme amount about a particular one person?

i'm not sure about you, but I definitely don't want my chips to be dipped in everyone else's salsa. emotionally it's nice to have that one person you're with and you can trust and you can enjoy life with. see how happy you are if you trade for a different person all the time, because what you will end up with is no great bonds and just a lot of "ok" 'acquaintences'.

in a practical way your opinion of hate for monogamous relationships doesn't even make sense, because if your belief was adopted commonly the # of diseases would spread rapidly if everyone slept and got with different people throughout life again and again. people settling down with one another is healthy.

so both because of the value of a special bond and to some degree medical reasons, monogamous relationships rock and are totally good for the world
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Old 03-04-2012, 06:40 PM   #47
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Default Re: Exclusive, monogamous relationships are disgusting.

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Originally Posted by Mountaindewslave View Post
i don't know Filo V maybe because people are not all sluts and have hearts and care to an extreme amount about a particular one person?
Sexual doesn't=slut. You can have a lot of sex, and not be a slut. And slut-shaming is wrong, also. There is nothing wrong in being sexually active as long as you're in control of yourself, your body and not harming anyone else in the process.

You can love a lot of people an extreme amount, and care for them deeply, and not enter in a relationship with them; I think we all have many people we love, yet have not dated nor plan to date in the future. I care deeply for my friends, I care deeply for my parents and my family...........but that doesn't mean I'm obligated or desire to be in an exclusive, monogamous relationship with them.

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i'm not sure about you, but I definitely don't want my chips to be dipped in everyone else's salsa.
Good, neither do I. I have standards, but I also don't have inhibitions or restrictions. I have freedom. And I wouldn't trade that for anything.

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emotionally it's nice to have that one person you're with and you can trust and you can enjoy life with.
Good point.............but you can have that without a relationship. You can have that with a friend or family member. A relationship is not necessary to have this.

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see how happy you are if you trade for a different person all the time, because what you will end up with is no great bonds and just a lot of "ok" 'acquaintences'.
Personally, I am friends with several of the men I've been with sexually. I've had sex with several of my friends. I don't have sex with someone unless there is a spark. It's not just hit-it-and-quit-it, with me at least, and not with others either. You're not really trading for a different person because you don't have a commitment. There is no sole "person", there are no strings attached. It's just 2 or more people have a great time and sharing great moments together. And for me, those moments, yeah they may be sexually, but there is an emotional and affectional connection as well. That's what makes it meaningful to me.

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in a practical way your opinion of hate for monogamous relationships doesn't even make sense, because if your belief was adopted commonly the # of diseases would spread rapidly if everyone slept and got with different people throughout life again and again. people settling down with one another is healthy.
Not only are there more sexually active individuals without diseases than there are those who do have an STD, but there are people in relationships who have/get an STD, either when their partner cheats and brings an STD home, or if they/their partner had an STD previous to entering this relationship without their knowledge. The risk factor is higher in getting an STD if you're sexually active and not in a relationship, but it's certainly not a definite that one will get an STD by being sexually active and single. Ultimately, safe sex practices are safe sex practices, regardless if your in a relationship or single, and if you adhere to these practices, you most likely will not get an STD. I've been with over 50 men and never had an STD, so it can and quite frankly, should, be done.

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so both because of the value of a special bond and to some degree medical reasons, monogamous relationships rock and are totally good for the world
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Old 03-04-2012, 09:53 PM   #48
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Default Re: Exclusive, monogamous relationships are disgusting.

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I'm not personally a fan of the idea of monogamy, but I do like the idea of holding romantic feelings for someone, even if not the lone sexual partner. And exclusive relationships aren't disgusting, it's just a personal choice.
Not always possibile , cause in most of the times sex can carry amount of feelings towards the person you are doing it with , i know many girls that refuses to sleep with any guy if they doesnt feel any kind of feeling towards him, for guys its a bit different.
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Old 03-04-2012, 10:05 PM   #49
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Default Re: Exclusive, monogamous relationships are disgusting.

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Do what makes you happy, we're all entitled to our opinions
we are all entitled to our own opinions but you posted basically a 'hating on monogamous relationships' thread ha. you must expect a strong reaction!

I understand what you are saying in that if someone sleeps with more than person it does not make them automatically a 'slut', I used that word rather rashly.

like think about it though, later in life it is such a beautiful thing (not that I've gotten to this point but still) to be able to look back at all of the things and experiences you've had with one particular person. You are right in that you can have a lot of experiences with a # of people ongoing throughout life BUT if you divide your journeys and adventures in life between so many, don't the relationships stop being particularly special?

I certainly think they would lose their value. it's sort of like a toss up, either one extreme strong dedicated relationship, or a multitude of endearing ones that aren't as strong.

i just hope you can see the beauty of sharing everything with one person who you love more than the moon, the earth, or the sun! or life itself
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Old 03-05-2012, 02:08 AM   #50
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Default Re: Exclusive, monogamous relationships are disgusting.

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we are all entitled to our own opinions but you posted basically a 'hating on monogamous relationships' thread ha. you must expect a strong reaction!
Well.............I've said this consistently throughout my time on this forum. I honestly didn't expect a strong reaction, I was just putting my feelings out there in a matter-of-fact way. I just thought people would either agree or disagree, and that's it, really, but I also wanted to provoke discussion on the matter and learn the other side of the argument and why others would think opposite of what I do on relationships.

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I understand what you are saying in that if someone sleeps with more than person it does not make them automatically a 'slut', I used that word rather rashly.
Glad you admit that...........that's a real issue in society that creates sexual repression and make people scared to discuss sex or have the sex they want; the whole you're a slut and immoral if you don't partner with one individual in a monogamous relationship. That simply isn't something everyone desires and no-one should be made to feel somehow "wrong" because of that.

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like think about it though, later in life it is such a beautiful thing (not that I've gotten to this point but still) to be able to look back at all of the things and experiences you've had with one particular person. You are right in that you can have a lot of experiences with a # of people ongoing throughout life BUT if you divide your journeys and adventures in life between so many, don't the relationships stop being particularly special?
I don't think so, I think life is full of special moments, and it's not necessarily about who those moments are with, but the moments themselves. A special moment is a special moment, regardless of it's with a boyfriend/girlfriend, best-friend, with family, or just an individual moment.

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I certainly think they would lose their value. it's sort of like a toss up, either one extreme strong dedicated relationship, or a multitude of endearing ones that aren't as strong.
It could go the either way too, though------the multitude of friendships can equal out to be stronger than the one sole relationship. Or one extremely close friend could be more special to you than any relationship ever could become. Different experiences with different people.

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i just hope you can see the beauty of sharing everything with one person who you love more than the moon, the earth, or the sun! or life itself
I see the beauty in love. Love is beautiful. We all need love in our lives. Love ourselves, love others, be loved by others. Sharing an intense love with one special person is a beautiful thing for those who have found that. But still...............you can love one individual person intensely, and not be in a relationship with them. It takes more than that to ultimately maintain a long-lasting, exclusive, monogamous relationship.
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Old 03-05-2012, 02:13 AM   #51
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Default Re: Exclusive, monogamous relationships are disgusting.

How about just letting everyone live their life the way they enjoy it the most?
For a massive majority of folks - at least after some 30 years of age or so, when the 'raging hormones' have died down a bit - that will be together with a genuine, loving friend in a monogamous relationship, in which one both find trust, peace, friendship, companionship, the share of interests and values of life, and help when times are bad. And yes, good sex as well.

I truly cannot see anything wrong with that, as hard as I try.
Therefore, the title of your thread seems a little bit obnoxious to me, Filo.
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Old 03-05-2012, 02:26 AM   #52
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Default Re: Exclusive, monogamous relationships are disgusting.

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How about just letting everyone live their life the way they enjoy it the most?
For a massive majority of folks - at least after some 30 years of age or so, when the 'raging hormones' have died down a bit - that will be together with a genuine, loving friend in a monogamous relationship, in which one both find trust, peace, friendship, companionship, the share of interests and values of life, and help when times are bad. And yes, good sex as well.

I truly cannot see anything wrong with that, as hard as I try.
Therefore, the title of your thread seems a little bit obnoxious to me, Filo.
Well, of course, people are going to live their lives as they see fit. I cannot force someone to believe the way I do against their will. We're all wired different and have our own personal views. But, I definitely do not see my thread title as obnoxious for the simple fact it's exactly what I think about exclusive, monogamous relationships. It DOES disgust me, literally. I genuinely DO get sick thinking about it, and it makes me nauseous. That's just how it is; it's not me trying to force myself to think this way, I'm not trying to even attack people who think differently. I just disagree with the entire scope of the arguments surrounding the reasons why people enter relationships and I am averse to committed relationships in general.

A genuine, loving friend that you find trust, peace, friendship, companionship, the share of interests and values of life and help, through good times and bad, with good sex in between, can be found and accomplished without entering a relationship with that individual. Heck........you can find that with more than one person in your life. None of it means that you have to partner with that individual in a monogamous relationship. Taking that step simply opens your friendship up to an entirely new set of standards and potential pitfalls that wouldn't exist if you didn't enter the relationship in the first place. Don't fix something that ain't broken, I say.

But again, that's me. I'm speaking for me. If others feel differently, that's their choice and I'm not anyone to condemn a person for choosing a different path for their own lives. It ain't my life, so, ultimately, it's not something I will stay awake day and night thinking about.
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Old 03-05-2012, 02:30 AM   #53
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Default Re: Exclusive, monogamous relationships are disgusting.

^^ That's perfectly okay with me.
I just rather share my good & my bad times with one truly understanding and loving person than with a whole bunch of them, if only to save my breath and energy. I've got plenty of other things to do in my life as well.

I might well have been lucky to find that one person, I'll go as far and admit that.
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Old 03-05-2012, 02:33 AM   #54
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Default Re: Exclusive, monogamous relationships are disgusting.

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^^ That's perfectly okay with me.
I just rather share my good & my bad times with one truly understanding and loving person than with a whole bunch of them, if only to save my breath and energy. I've got plenty of other things to do in my life as well.

I might well have been lucky to find that one person, I'll go as far and admit that.
I'm happy you're happy
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Old 03-05-2012, 02:36 AM   #55
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Default Re: Exclusive, monogamous relationships are disgusting.

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I'm happy you're happy
Compliment returned, Filo.
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Old 03-05-2012, 02:36 AM   #56
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Default Re: Exclusive, monogamous relationships are disgusting.

I need to be in a monogamous relationship because I am jealous and possessive.
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Old 03-05-2012, 02:45 AM   #57
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Old 03-05-2012, 02:46 AM   #58
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Default Re: Exclusive, monogamous relationships are disgusting.

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I need to be in a monogamous relationship because I am jealous and possessive.
Does being in a monogamous relationship actually fix/hide these two traits for you if I may ask
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Old 03-05-2012, 02:52 AM   #59
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Does being in a monogamous relationship actually fix/hide these two traits for you if I may ask
Nope. I can't do open relationships because I can't stomach the idea of my partner seeing/dating/fucking other girls. For me it's pretty easy to tell when I stop loving someone: when I stop caring when other girls hit on him or when he tells me he was tempted to sleep with someone else.
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Old 03-05-2012, 03:18 AM   #60
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Nope. I can't do open relationships because I can't stomach the idea of my partner seeing/dating/fucking other girls.
That's understandable...............I personally would just ask for a threesome

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For me it's pretty easy to tell when I stop loving someone: when I stop caring when other girls hit on him or when he tells me he was tempted to sleep with someone else.
Honestly, I sort of wish a guy would just cheat on me outright than say something like that
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