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View Poll Results: Is it a burden?

No way, im not a narcisist, im always happy if a guy likes me! 1 7.69%
Yes, a real burden, just ruins the friendship a lot of the time 10 76.92%
No guy friend has ever told me that 2 15.38%
Voters: 13. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 02-20-2012, 12:47 AM   #31
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Default Re: Ladies, can it become a burden when a guy friend tells you he likes you?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Juan Ma Del Pony View Post
This exact situation happened to me in my junior year of college. A guy who was my friend/lab partner apparently started liking me a lot and I didn't notice it all. Then one day he came to a class that I was TA'ing and sat in the back, staring at me, for 2 hours while I was teaching. Finally at the end of the class he walked me to the train station and told me he liked me. I was like, WhereTF did this come from? And then things became very awkward between us (mostly my fault, I was kinda creeped out by what he did) and he thankfully graduated soon so I never saw him again. I hope he didn't think I was a bitch for leading him on (at least I don't think I led him on), but if he does, I hope he got over me since I'm not exactly a big catch anyway in the looks department and I'm saving myself for Ponyboy anyway
Photos please, we will be the judge.

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Old 02-20-2012, 12:50 AM   #32
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Default Re: Ladies, can it become a burden when a guy friend tells you he likes you?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nole Rules View Post
I will never tell a girl that i like/love her without knowing her true feelings about me. I should know her true feelings towards me first.
That is absolutely needy behavior and does not get you far with women. You should not wait for a woman to give you signs. As a man you must always take the lead.

I approach women on the street who have never seen me before and I immediately state my interest in her.

Honestly, reading some posts in here I wonder how some of you even manage to get on a date with woman.
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Old 02-20-2012, 12:52 AM   #33
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Default Re: Ladies, can it become a burden when a guy friend tells you he likes you?

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Originally Posted by leng jai View Post
Photos please, we will be the judge.

Ajde.
Ha! If I ever manage to get a pic with DelPo and me together, I'll post that so everyone can see the clear disparity in height/weight between me and Pony.
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Old 02-20-2012, 12:55 AM   #34
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Default Re: Ladies, can it become a burden when a guy friend tells you he likes you?

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Originally Posted by Bilbo View Post
That is absolutely needy behavior and does not get you far with women. You should not wait for a woman to give you signs. As a man you must always take the lead.

I approach women on the street who have never seen me before and I immediately state my interest in her.

Honestly, reading some posts in here I wonder how some of you even manage to get on a date with woman.
x infinite +1

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Old 02-20-2012, 12:58 AM   #35
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Default Re: Ladies, can it become a burden when a guy friend tells you he likes you?

I approach women on the bus. That way they cannot run away from me.

Ajde.
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Old 02-20-2012, 12:59 AM   #36
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Default Re: Ladies, can it become a burden when a guy friend tells you he likes you?

Oh God, I *hate* it when guys talk to me and I'm stuck on the train. I've been chatted up by some seriously weird, older men on the train before and it's really disturbing because you just CAN. NOT. GET. AWAY. FROM. THEM!!!!
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Old 02-20-2012, 01:00 AM   #37
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Default Re: Ladies, can it become a burden when a guy friend tells you he likes you?

The buses in Melbourne have my photo displayed on the back of every seat and a public service announcement to "watch out for this gimp". Makes it kinda hard for me.

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Old 02-20-2012, 01:01 AM   #38
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Default Re: Ladies, can it become a burden when a guy friend tells you he likes you?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nole Rules View Post
I fell inlove with a girl i know since my childhood days. She did tell me that she really likes me. She really likes to talk with me and spends some time with me. I thought/felt that she is inlove with me. Then i decided to make my move and tell her that i love her but guess what happened, folks?
The reason here is simple. You made your move too late and women begin to think that you do not want anything from her. It is a classic mistake many guys do (including me sometimes). This is why she has another boyfriend. A boyfriend who made his move early.

The reason why you did not made the move early is because of fear of reaction. Even worse, you treated her like she is the only girl in your life (also a needy behavior that scares away women). This has only made your fear bigger. An attractive man has many options in his life.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nole Rules View Post
She told me that there is another guy in her life. I was really shocked and heartbroken at the same time. I didn't know what to do. All this time she was just considering me a friend. How disappointing!
Again a very needy behavior.

Last edited by Bilbo : 02-20-2012 at 01:08 AM.
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Old 02-20-2012, 01:14 AM   #39
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Default Re: Ladies, can it become a burden when a guy friend tells you he likes you?

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An attractive man has many options in his life, at any time.
Speaking of attractive men (not to go too off-topic here, but this *is* the non-tennis section), do you think Juan Martin has a hard time getting some women to sleep with him? At first you might laugh at this, but think about it from a petite woman's point of view: sex with him has *got* to be painful on some level, especially for a woman who's having sex for the first time ever. The man is enormous all over, he's got at least a foot in height and anywhere from 75-100 pounds on your average-sized woman. Not to mention other, ahem, assets that he may be hiding from plain view
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Old 02-20-2012, 01:28 AM   #40
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Default Re: Ladies, can it become a burden when a guy friend tells you he likes you?

It's always the burden. I lost my best friend like this, twice. Everything was just perfect, I was happy to have a friend like that to whom I could tell everything, I felt great with the guy. Then once he told me that he was in love with me, and he wanted us to date. I didn't want to date him, not because I didn't like him, but simply I liked him as a friend, there wasn't any sparkle, any physical desire whatsoever for me. I explained to him that I really liked him as a friend but had no intention of dating him, and that I valued real friendship much more than dating. For a while we carried on being friends, but things were awkward, and then once he got drunk and sent me a message that he couldn't go anymore like that and because he knew I would never make up my mind and date him, he couldn't talk to me anymore, because he couldn't bear it, stuff like that. Since then, I only once received one drunk message from him saying pretty much the same, but we never talked to each other again.

Almost the same thing happened to me again a bit later, with my friend from high school. We got really close during a school trip to England, and things were a little bit romantic with us, but we never started dating. Then he started dating another girl, and I stepped back to give him space. He broke up with that girl and came back to me, and we became friends again. He was in some difficult situation with his parents divorcing quite nastily, and he suffered from depression and so on. We were spending a lot of time on ICQ talking about pretty much everything, sometimes he would get into the mood that he threatened with suicide if I didn't come to his house at night and so on, but I was always pretty rough with him when he did this, and he stopped immediately. Or when I went away for a day and left my phone at home, I would find 29 missed calls from him when I got back, but we were still friends, just going for walks and talking, we had the same hobbies, and music taste, and opinions. Then once he told me he wanted to invite me for a date. I explained to him the same thing as to the previous guy. He turned it into a joke and pretended he didn't ask, but eventually in a month or so he started to date a girl and our friendship ended again. The girl was my opposite, always concerned about him when he threatened with suicide, and in a year he basically drained her and broke up with her, after which she was devastated and he started to drink and do stupid things. Then we went on another school trip for a week, and we got close again, talking rather normally to each other by day when he was sober, but the nights when everyone was drinking he usually got drunk and then doing some propositions to me like insisting that I would sleep in their cottage with him, or I would come to my cottage and find him in my bed etc. By the end of the week it got calmer and we were back to our "normal", but there was still the drama to it as the girl he had broken up with was our classmate too and we would have her breaking down whenever she saw us two together. After the trip he eventually came back to her, but this "coming back" periods lasted until the end of high school when we went to different unis, and only saw each other a few times, but I would say we still sort of keep in touch. Recently I met some friends from high school and we exchanged news about the others, and they were surprised when I mentioned him and told me that actually I was the only person of the whole class he was still talking to. While the previous guy really upset me, this crazy roller-coaster actually didn't affect me, probably because I was the dominant person in that relationship and I was always in control of it, even though I remember actually feeling jealous of that girl when he was going out with her (not because I wanted to date him, but I didn't like her for stealing a friend from me). His best friend once told me (after we had a few drinks) that I "sexually frustrated" the guy, that really made me laugh

So yes, with me it's always decided immediately if I want to be just friends with the person or if I want to be something more. I don't grow from one to another. And it really upsets me if the other person feels the other way and tells me after such a long time, I always feel like they were supposed to tell me at the very beginning I understand that maybe they weren't sure at that time, but still all I put into the friendship goes to waste afterwards...
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Old 02-20-2012, 01:45 AM   #41
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Default Re: Ladies, can it become a burden when a guy friend tells you he likes you?

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Originally Posted by Juan Ma Del Pony View Post
Speaking of attractive men (not to go too off-topic here, but this *is* the non-tennis section), do you think Juan Martin has a hard time getting some women to sleep with him? At first you might laugh at this, but think about it from a petite woman's point of view: sex with him has *got* to be painful on some level, especially for a woman who's having sex for the first time ever. The man is enormous all over, he's got at least a foot in height and anywhere from 75-100 pounds on your average-sized woman. Not to mention other, ahem, assets that he may be hiding from plain view
How about this couple then !

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Old 02-20-2012, 01:47 AM   #42
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Default Re: Ladies, can it become a burden when a guy friend tells you he likes you?

That's Shaq, right? He's huge! I feel sorry for that lady, whoever she is...
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Old 02-20-2012, 02:05 AM   #43
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Default Re: Ladies, can it become a burden when a guy friend tells you he likes you?

Sometimes being friend-zoned is acceptable. As with my previous example, I actually was good friends with the girl and maintaining a friendship was going to be important because I was going to live with her the following year.

In a more recent case, I started getting close to a girl strictly because I liked her. Before this we were friends but really wouldn't go out of the way to see each other. We actually did have a romantic relationship, but she told me that she was confused with her feelings and wanted to go back to being friends.

This change of feeling actually did not bother me that badly, but her request to stay close friends was just pointless in my opinion. I treat her just like I did before I had feelings for her. I'm nice to her when we bump into each other, but I don't make any effort to see her and she's been complaining about this to some of our mutual friends. I honestly don't understand it because I made the extra effort just because I liked her. It may sound heartless, but I don't really care for being that close without the benefits of a romantic relationship. I don't see why I should be acting like her best friend, even though we were not best friends in the first place. Am I at fault here?
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Old 02-20-2012, 04:11 AM   #44
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Default Re: Ladies, can it become a burden when a guy friend tells you he likes you?

Never had a guy friend says he like me.
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Old 02-20-2012, 04:41 AM   #45
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Default Re: Ladies, can it become a burden when a guy friend tells you he likes you?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Hewitt =Legend View Post
I approach women on the bus. That way they cannot run away from me.

Ajde.
Quote:
Originally Posted by leng jai View Post
The buses in Melbourne have my photo displayed on the back of every seat and a public service announcement to "watch out for this gimp". Makes it kinda hard for me.

Ajde.
Can you guys please stop treating this serious topic like a joke?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Juan Ma Del Pony View Post
Oh God, I *hate* it when guys talk to me and I'm stuck on the train. I've been chatted up by some seriously weird, older men on the train before and it's really disturbing because you just CAN. NOT. GET. AWAY. FROM. THEM!!!!
It's worse when they stare at you creepily for 40 minutes. Oh my god.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bilbo View Post
That is absolutely needy behavior and does not get you far with women. You should not wait for a woman to give you signs. As a man you must always take the lead.

I approach women on the street who have never seen me before and I immediately state my interest in her.

Honestly, reading some posts in here I wonder how some of you even manage to get on a date with woman.
I've made the first move in all my relationships. And to be honest, if some random guy came up to me on the street and expressed his interest in me I'd think he was a freak no matter what he looked like.

And to answer the OP: Yes, it's a huge burden if a guy friend told me he liked me only if I felt nothing for him beyond friendship. Whenever my best guy friend jokes about getting together with me I just laugh hysterically.
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