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Old 02-11-2012, 03:52 PM   #1
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Default Facebook Parenting: For the troubled teen

If you don't know about this, here is a dad's response to his bratty teenage girl who was disrespectful and stupid on Facebook.



This thing is getting dozens of comments a minute on YouTube as I post this.

Thank you sir, you are having a positive impact on society.

Update from the dad:

http://www.litefm.com/cc-common/main...rticle=9744152
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Old 02-11-2012, 04:04 PM   #2
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Default Re: Facebook Parenting: For the troubled teen

...this is a positive impact on society? i cant imagine why that girl would be unhappy with that family
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Old 02-11-2012, 04:40 PM   #3
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Default Re: Facebook Parenting: For the troubled teen

Is humiliating your daughter (no matter what she did) in front of the internet a good idea? NO
Is shooting a laptop with a gun a good idea? NO
Is this guy stupid? YES
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Old 02-11-2012, 05:11 PM   #4
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Default Re: Facebook Parenting: For the troubled teen

something is wrong with the kid, and it's probably because there is something seriously wrong with the father too.

Wait to go, dad. Couldn't he at least not smoke while doing filming this?
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Old 02-11-2012, 05:14 PM   #5
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Default Re: Facebook Parenting: For the troubled teen

I assume you watched the whole thing?

Writing a full letter to her parents but blocking her parents from reading it, full of lies and exaggerations, and you think she is the victim here? After she has been grounded for 3 months for a similar incident and did not learn her lesson? She was warned it would be bigger consequences should she do it again, but she did anyway.

You agree she should be allowed to defame her own parents, but her dad is not allowed to respond?

It would appear you are the minority: 158,870 likes, 12,407 dislikes

He paid for the computer, he can destroy it if he decides to. He did not hit his daughter in any way shape of form. He responded to the lies she posted on her Facebook wall by posting the video on the same wall, to show her friends there are consequences to what she did. The girl has pretty much 15 minutes of chores a day to help run the house, an essential skill everyone must learn, and must pick up after herself. She want to get paid for that? You are defending that girl?

Furthermore, the dad refuses to go on the talk show circuit to make the point that no one should profit from something like that.


The guy has all the good values we need in society. Spoiled brats will be offended by this (kids, teens and twentysomethings) and hippie parents who believe that kids should never suffer consequences for their actions and the kids learn better from what they believe is discussion. Most of these parents are too lazy or incompetent to do that the proper way, when they are not simply too stupid to pull it off and end up being outsmarted by their kids....
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Old 02-11-2012, 05:16 PM   #6
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Default Re: Facebook Parenting: For the troubled teen

Confrontation leads to resentment, and more confrontation.
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Old 02-11-2012, 05:24 PM   #7
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Default Re: Facebook Parenting: For the troubled teen

Quote:
Originally Posted by BigJohn View Post
I assume you watched the whole thing?

Writing a full letter to her parents but blocking her parents from reading it, full of lies and exaggerations, and you think she is the victim here? After she has been grounded for 3 months for a similar incident and did not learn her lesson? She was warned it would be bigger consequences should she do it again, but she did anyway.

You agree she should be allowed to defame her own parents, but her dad is not allowed to respond?

It would appear you are the minority: 158,870 likes, 12,407 dislikes

He paid for the computer, he can destroy it if he decides to. He did not hit his daughter in any way shape of form. He responded to the lies she posted on her Facebook wall by posting the video on the same wall, to show her friends there are consequences to what she did. The girl has pretty much 15 minutes of chores a day to help run the house, an essential skill everyone must learn, and must pick up after herself. She want to get paid for that? You are defending that girl?

Furthermore, the dad refuses to go on the talk show circuit to make the point that no one should profit from something like that.


The guy has all the good values we need in society. Spoiled brats will be offended by this (kids, teens and twentysomethings) and hippie parents who believe that kids should never suffer consequences for their actions and the kids learn better from what they believe is discussion. Most of these parents are too lazy or incompetent to do that the proper way, when they are not simply too stupid to pull it off and end up being outsmarted by their kids....
I watched the whole thing. God, I wish I hadn't, made me lose a bit of hope in the human race.

The girl is obviously troubling, no doubt about that. But whose fault do you think it is? Call me naive, but I believe a child grows up to be whatever their parents make him or her. Th facebook post was a huge fail and very disrespectful, no doubt about that. But what the father did just might explain why the girl posted that in the first place. You think humiliating the kid is right? It's like payback. Good parents do not use the payback strategy, good parents raise, get mad, and punish, but they do not react against their own kid. This video was payback, and good parents just don't do that.

Last edited by arm : 02-11-2012 at 05:33 PM.
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Old 02-11-2012, 05:30 PM   #8
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Default Re: Facebook Parenting: For the troubled teen

Read carefully the post of arm BigJohn because she is totally right and you're not.
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Old 02-11-2012, 05:58 PM   #9
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Default Re: Facebook Parenting: For the troubled teen

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Originally Posted by arm View Post
I watched the whole thing. God, I wish I hadn't, made me lose a bit of hope in the human race.

The girl is obviously troubling, no doubt about that. But whose fault do you think it is? Call me naive, but I believe a child grows up to be whatever their parents make him or her. Th facebook post was a huge fail and very disrespectful, no doubt about that. But what the father did just might explain why the girl posted that in the first place. You think humiliating the kid is right? It's like payback. Good parents do not use the payback strategy, good parents raise, get mad, and punish, but they do not react against their own kid. This video was payback, and good parents just don't do that.
Some parents are good people who have brats as kids. It happens. And no one formula is the right formula. Are you old enough to have kids? How would you react if your daughter did something like this for a second time? Would you discuss the incident with her and negotiate an acceptable punishment for her? Do you have a plan B in case the approach you think is best fails to work when your sweet little girl becomes an idiotic teenage bitch?


Seems to me the guy did exactly what you say good parents should do. Raise, get mad, punish.
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Old 02-11-2012, 06:01 PM   #10
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Default Re: Facebook Parenting: For the troubled teen

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Read carefully the post of arm BigJohn because she is totally right and you're not.
You're 22.
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Old 02-11-2012, 06:15 PM   #11
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Default Re: Facebook Parenting: For the troubled teen

Quote:
Originally Posted by BigJohn View Post
Some parents are good people who have brats as kids. It happens. And no one formula is the right formula. Are you old enough to have kids? How would you react if your daughter did something like this for a second time? Would you discuss the incident with her and negotiate an acceptable punishment for her? Do you have a plan B in case the approach you think is best fails to work when your sweet little girl becomes an idiotic teenage bitch?


Seems to me the guy did exactly what you say good parents should do. Raise, get mad, punish.
I'm 21. Should I go on, or now that you know my age my opinion will be meaningless anyway?

I have great parents. I don't have perfect parents, though, because there is no such thing as perfect parenting, just like you said, there is no right formula.

I agree that some parents are good people and their kids turn out to be troubling. There is a simple explanation, just because you are a good person with the right convictions it doesn't mean your are a good parent. I am not a parent and I have no way to know if I'll ever be one, but one thing I'm sure of: being a parent is one of the hardest jobs there is out there. It's very easy to fail, even when you mean the best.

I simply do not believe that good parents can have "brats" as kids. If you are teaching them right, they will turn out to be just fine. (Of course you need to consider some exceptions when mental illness is envolved, but I am not considering those situations.) When I say "fine", I mean they will be perfect, they will screw up too, that's for sure. but we all do.

But this situation is very different. What the dad is simply unacceptable for me. I am not familiar with the girl, I don't know the background, all I know is what the dad said, which is obviously a very partial opinion. Regardless of that, the dad's approach was a huge fail. Punishment? Yes. No computer? Yes. Humiliate your kid? No. Shoot your kids computer? Gosh no what sort of example to your kid is that?

The father keeps mentioting how much money and time he spent fixing the girl's computer. That leads me to suspect that he thinks providing food, etc is more than enough and the kid should be more than satisfied and should never complain. We all know that being a parent is a lot more than proving food, clothes, etc.
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Old 02-11-2012, 06:42 PM   #12
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Default Re: Facebook Parenting: For the troubled teen

Quote:
Originally Posted by arm View Post
I'm 21. Should I go on, or now that you know my age my opinion will be meaningless anyway?

I have great parents. I don't have perfect parents, though, because there is no such thing as perfect parenting, just like you said, there is no right formula.

I agree that some parents are good people and their kids turn out to be troubling. There is a simple explanation, just because you are a good person with the right convictions it doesn't mean your are a good parent. I am not a parent and I have no way to know if I'll ever be one, but one thing I'm sure of: being a parent is one of the hardest jobs there is out there. It's very easy to fail, even when you mean the best.

I simply do not believe that good parents can have "brats" as kids. If you are teaching them right, they will turn out to be just fine. (Of course you need to consider some exceptions when mental illness is envolved, but I am not considering those situations.) When I say "fine", I mean they will be perfect, they will screw up too, that's for sure. but we all do.

But this situation is very different. What the dad is simply unacceptable for me. I am not familiar with the girl, I don't know the background, all I know is what the dad said, which is obviously a very partial opinion. Regardless of that, the dad's approach was a huge fail. Punishment? Yes. No computer? Yes. Humiliate your kid? No. Shoot your kids computer? Gosh no what sort of example to your kid is that?

The father keeps mentioting how much money and time he spent fixing the girl's computer. That leads me to suspect that he thinks providing food, etc is more than enough and the kid should be more than satisfied and should never complain. We all know that being a parent is a lot more than proving food, clothes, etc.
My dear, I always take your opinion into consideration,even on the one topic you are completely wrong about (Nole). You're an old soul.

But in this case, it looks like you have only the experience and view point of a kid. When you get into parenting, you got so many factors in the mix right. If good values are at the core, I have no problem with punishment. He did not beat her, and I still feel that this is not humiliation. I think posting the video on her wall is actually great parenting, because it makes the other kids who might have agreed with her think a bit about it.

Getting rid of the computer is also a great move. You might disagree with how he did it, but understand that the guy is an American. Some people over there think carrying guns into University classes and bars is a constitutional right. Considering he did not shoot her but used it to take the computer away for good, destroying any hope of future negotiation to get it back, is a good message.

I think many parents who are unable to say no should look at this. A good chunk are not parenting one bit. You're a parent not your kids' best friend.

Quote:
I simply do not believe that good parents can have "brats" as kids.
I disagree about that. And you last paragraph.

You're still one of the best posters around. Too bad about your flaw.

Last edited by BigJohn : 02-11-2012 at 06:48 PM.
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Old 02-11-2012, 06:58 PM   #13
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Default Re: Facebook Parenting: For the troubled teen

Good on the dad.

Although it was a bit too harsh, he clearly has warned the girl before, although I think the reason why he does this in the first place is kind of stupid, I mean shooting a laptop over a facebook post .

Although I don't like his parenting per se, I mean he goes a bit over the top for a pretty trivial reason, I'd rather someone like him who clearly teaches his child that there are consequences to their actions rather a parent who doesn't give a crap about their child, or are too ''liberal'' to say anything.
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Old 02-11-2012, 07:06 PM   #14
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Default Re: Facebook Parenting: For the troubled teen

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My dear, I always take your opinion into consideration,even on the one topic you are completely wrong about (Nole). You're an old soul.
Well, thank you, I guess. (Not sure I want to be an old soul, though. ) Oh, and one thing you should know: even as a "Nole tard" I can be far more objective when it comes to him than you can.

Quote:
But in this case, it looks like you have only the experience and view point of a kid. When you get into parenting, you got so many factors in the mix right. If good values are at the core, I have no problem with punishment. He did not beat her, and I still feel that this is not humiliation. I think posting the video on her wall is actually great parenting, because it makes the other kids who might have agreed with her think a bit about it.
But are you a parent? I guess it's normal that you would assume I only have the point of view of the kid, but I beg to differ. I have a 15 year old sister, we're 6 years apart, and she's is pretty much the most important person in my life and I look at her not only as a sister, but also a bit as a mother. It has always been like that, and although I am aware that it does not qualify me as a near-mom (not even close), it does give me a different perspective.

How is this not humiliating for her? Come on, you have been a teenager too! Can you imagine how embarassed she must feel when going to school knowing that all her friends and colleagues have watched that piece of art?

Quote:
Getting rid of the computer is also a great move. You might disagree with how he did it, but understand that the guy is an American. Some people over there think carrying guns into University classes and bars is a constitutional right. Considering he did not shoot her but used it to take the computer away for good, destroying any hope of future negotiation to get it back, is a good message.
While I agree that getting rid of the computer is indeed a great move, the method couldn't be worse. I couldn't care less if he is american, chinese or lives in antarctica, you do not stop your daughter from using the computer by shooting it. It ridiculous in so many levels that I don't even know how to describe it!

Quote:
I think many parents who are unable to say no should look at this. A good chunk are not parenting one bit. You're a parent not your kids' best friend.
But here is the thing, does he know how to say no? If he did, he wouldn't have to shoot the computer. Just punishing her and forbiding her to use it should have been enough.

Quote:
I disagree about that. And you last paragraph.

You're still one of the best posters around. Too bad about your flaw.
that's sweet, thanks.
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Old 02-11-2012, 07:06 PM   #15
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Default Re: Facebook Parenting: For the troubled teen

Does anybody really think this measure will make the girl change?

The only thing it will cause is increased resentment towards her father. She might behave better for a while on account of fear, but deep down she'll want to get out of there even more and the feelings of rage and desire for payback will rise.

Again, confrontation only leads to more confrontation.
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The methods and drugs used by Armstrong in 1999 would work in tennis right now, with zero chance of being caught (not slightly surprising to anyone familiar with the topic, btw).
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