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Old 01-06-2012, 09:19 PM   #16
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Default Re: Workplace Romance?

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Originally Posted by Bilbo View Post
True, but not always you see each other so often even when you work at the same place. How Sunset of Age described it can also work, but it's the worst case solution imo. However, I still believe it is just the extension of something bigger what I explained before.

By the way, about all workplace romances that I know, all have failed.
It's also a very common phenomenon here in Portugal. And in most cases it lasts. I don't have a good example at home, though.

People should just go with the flow. It's not like you can pick whom you fall in love with, or avoid doing so because it's your co-worker. I believe it's healthier when couple don't work together, but that doesn't mean it can't work or you should run away from it.
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Old 01-06-2012, 09:37 PM   #17
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Default Re: Workplace Romance?

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That's sad. But have you compared that to the number of drunk-pub-romances that have also failed?
I was trying to say that in my "theory" post. What I wanted to say is that both workplaces and parties are the worst places for serious relationships. The whole theory is very complex. We have to go back 40 years to find the roots of the problem.

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I think the BIG difference is decided by whether you're out for just a nice one-night-stand, or for something longlasting & serious.
True, it is because most guys are not aware of their emotional needs. See nice guy discussion.

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BTW, lest-we-forget, some 30-50% of ALL relationships fail in the long run (at least in the Western world), wherever the couple happened to meet in the beginning.
True, and the numbers have increased dramatically in the last 40 years. See nice guy syndrome.
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Old 01-06-2012, 09:55 PM   #18
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Default Re: Workplace Romance?

I am in university for education and from what I know, workplace relationships between teachers are generally frowned upon. My French teacher and my algebra teacher had a secret romance for about a year and a half before they got married because dating your co-worker was a big no-no in our school district.
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Old 01-06-2012, 10:02 PM   #19
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Default Re: Workplace Romance?

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I was trying to say that in my "theory" post. What I wanted to say is that both workplaces and parties are the worst places for serious relationships. The whole theory is very complex. We have to go back 40 years to find the roots of the problem.
If I sum up:
School and work are a bad place for serious relationships.
Pub and parties are a bad place for serious relationships.

That's definitely a bilbo's theory (nonsensical)
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Old 01-06-2012, 10:03 PM   #20
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Default Re: Workplace Romance?

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This is how most couples get together at workplaces or at uni, spending a lot of time with each other. It is because trust gets built, which is the base for any relationship. But don't forget that these relationships usually are not the most healthy ones because for most people it is the only way to get into a relationship, and thus they take what they can. Picking up girls on the street gets you less trouble and makes much more fun.
Surely "picking girls up on the street" doesn't constitute a relationship at all, or at least it's just a casual one. Maybe that's what some people want but I certainly wouldn't say that relationships founded on trust aren't as "healthy" as casual relationships. Everyone is different - but there's no need to pretend that any group is better than another.

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For me the most interesting question is why these relationships break up so often. I believe it is because most men only get to know women at their workplaces (or being drunk at parties), and therefore only have a very limited choice of women. Consequently, their chance to end up with the wrong partner is very high.
How else could men meet women that you think would be better? For someone my age (25) it doesn't really seem like there's that many different ways of meeting women - at work, through friends or whilst out drunk. That's how most people I know met their partners.

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That's sad. But have you compared that to the number of drunk-pub-romances that have also failed?

I think the BIG difference is decided by whether you're out for just a nice one-night-stand, or for something longlasting & serious.
BTW, lest-we-forget, some 30-50% of ALL relationships fail in the long run (at least in the Western world), wherever the couple happened to meet in the beginning.
You said it...


...and my story...

I've been seeing my girlfriend for 8 months, she used to be my boss at my old job. I guess it's not technically a workplace romance because we started seeing each other after i'd left but yeah, I think knowing her as I did at work definitely gave me a good idea of what she was like.

I used to feign incompetence so I could have an excuse to go and talk to her, it was fun and at the same time it was pretty harmless - it didn't majorly affect my work and it kept her in good spirits when she was feeling stressed .

I can't really speak about working with your partner (which, if I had to guess, I would say could be pretty awkward - because every couple needs plenty of time apart), but i'd definitely say that work was a great place for me to get to know my girlfriend before I started going out with her. A lot of women have a sort of tendency to see men trying to talk to them as predatory, so I think work is a good place to meet women in that maybe they don't put up barriers like they might do if you just met them socially or something - they can get to know you without automatically thinking "he just wants me for the poon". Idk though, can't say all women are the same like that.
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Old 01-06-2012, 10:29 PM   #21
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Default Re: Workplace Romance?

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Surely "picking girls up on the street" doesn't constitute a relationship at all, or at least it's just a casual one. Maybe that's what some people want but I certainly wouldn't say that relationships founded on trust aren't as "healthy" as casual relationships. Everyone is different - but there's no need to pretend that any group is better than another.

How else could men meet women that you think would be better? For someone my age (25) it doesn't really seem like there's that many different ways of meeting women - at work, through friends or whilst out drunk. That's how most people I know met their partners.
That's what society tells you is the "right" way to meet women.

Let me think of some places to meet women. It all starts when I leave the door. Streets, super markets, coffee shops, libraries, shopping malls, airports, trains, busses, parks, etc. Sounds good to me.
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Old 01-06-2012, 10:34 PM   #22
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Default Re: Workplace Romance?

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That's what society tells you is the "right" way to meet women.

Let me think of some places to meet women. It all starts when I leave the door. Streets, super markets, coffee shops, libraries, shopping malls, airports, trains, busses, parks, etc. Sounds good to me.
How many of those places have you actually met women? I'm pretty sure most men wouldn't have the will and confidence to approach women in those kinds of situations, and a lot of women would be freaked out by men randomly starting to talk to them.
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Old 01-06-2012, 10:41 PM   #23
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Default Re: Workplace Romance?

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How many of those places have you actually met women?
In all of them.

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I'm pretty sure most men wouldn't have the will and confidence to approach women in those kinds of situations,
True.

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and a lot of women would be freaked out by men randomly starting to talk to them.
Not true. True for clubs with all these drunken guys.
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Old 01-06-2012, 10:45 PM   #24
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Default Re: Workplace Romance?

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How many of those places have you actually met women? I'm pretty sure most men wouldn't have the will and confidence to approach women in those kinds of situations, and a lot of women would be freaked out by men randomly starting to talk to them.
You are right of course.

That being said, I guess if you are persistent enough, you're bound to find a girl who's not freaked out by your randomly chatting her up at the supermarket queue and will actually be glad if you take her to bed.

I once knew a guy who used to get drunk and yell "hey you cute, wanna fuck?" at every decent-looking girl he came across. And yes, he did get laid fairly regularly. He also got some slaps now and then, but hey, who am I to criticise his method.
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Old 01-06-2012, 10:50 PM   #25
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That being said, I guess if you are persistent enough, you're bound to find a girl who's not freaked out by your randomly chatting her up at the supermarket queue and will actually be glad if you take her to bed.
It's true. Most reactions you will receive are positive.

In Spain it is more commen than in Germany, so you should be more used to it.

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I once knew a guy who used to get drunk and yell "hey you cute, wanna fuck?" at every decent-looking girl he came across. And yes, he did get laid fairly regularly. He also got some slaps now and then, but hey, who am I to criticise his method.
I've seen this work too. The more you try, the higher the chance to achieve your goal. Being persistent is important.
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Old 01-06-2012, 11:16 PM   #26
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It's true. Most reactions you will receive are positive.

In Spain it is more commen than in Germany, so you should be more used to it.
Where do I live again?

It's not common in Spain at all.
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Armstrong says in-competition testing will never catch anyone, only out-of-competition testing and the blood passport can.

Tennis has no blood passport system, and does basically no out of competition testing.

The methods and drugs used by Armstrong in 1999 would work in tennis right now, with zero chance of being caught (not slightly surprising to anyone familiar with the topic, btw).
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Old 01-06-2012, 11:23 PM   #27
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Default Re: Workplace Romance?

I'm enjoying this thread!

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I once knew a guy who used to get drunk and yell "hey you cute, wanna fuck?" at every decent-looking girl he came across. And yes, he did get laid fairly regularly. He also got some slaps now and then, but hey, who am I to criticise his method.
- I'll never understand how guys get away with that sort of behaviour. So ultimately classless, and sorry to say so, but I do not understand women who fall for it at all, either.

There was one notorious guy who used to do that kind of sh*t at our bridge club all the time. One day he was so terribly drunk that he even tried out hitting on me (while the guy was actually in a relationship! ).
I just - slowly - emptied my glass of prosecco all over his head, and it was over. I got some very nice reactions to that from all other ladies he'd had been trying to pawn all night there.
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Old 01-06-2012, 11:28 PM   #28
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Default Re: Workplace Romance?

How about MTF romance?
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Old 01-06-2012, 11:31 PM   #29
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Default Re: Workplace Romance?

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- I'll never understand how guys get away with that sort of behaviour. So ultimately classless, and sorry to say so, but I do not understand women who fall for it at all, either.
I've expained it in another post. Only needy girls will fall for it but you will always find some in any club.
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Old 01-06-2012, 11:32 PM   #30
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Default Re: Workplace Romance?

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I've expained it in another post. Only needy girls will fall for it but you will always find some in any club.
True. And then it's back full-circle: it will perhaps work when one's in need for a hit-and-run, but for a true romantic relationship? I doubt it.
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