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Old 12-25-2004, 11:25 PM   #1
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Default Blagues, Humour et Fun

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bea
Concours de la blague la plus nulle?....essayez de battre ça. <<<<

"C'est deux grains de sable sur la plage...L'un dit à l'autre: Je crois qu'on est suivis!"
Bonne chance aux participants de ce concours.
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The Return of the King of Vodka

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Old 12-25-2004, 11:26 PM   #2
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Default Re: Blagues, Humour et Fun

Allez je vais mettre aussi l'une ou l'autre blague quand même


C'est un forain qui présente son cochon à son ami:
- Le forain : Regarde mon cochon est intelligent. Il sait compter !
- L'ami : Ah ! Fais voir !
- Le forain s'adressant au cochon : Trois fois trois ?
- Le cochon : neufff neufff... neufff neufff ... neufff neufff
- L'ami : Ah ouais ! Bien ! Je peux essayer aussi ?
- Le forain : Ouais vas-y !
- L'ami : Deux fois quatre ?
- Le cochon : neufff neufff... neufff neufff ... neufff neufff
- Le forain énervé : non ! C'est pas ça !
- L'ami répète : Deux fois quatre ?
- Le cochon : neufff neufff... neufff neufff ... neufff neufff
Le forain excédé met un grand coup de pied dans l'arrière-train de son cochon
- Le cochon : "huiiiiiit huiiiiiiit huiiiiiiit huiiiiiiiiiit"
- Le forain : Tu vois quand tu veux !
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Old 12-25-2004, 11:30 PM   #3
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Default Re: Blagues, Humour et Fun

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Old 12-25-2004, 11:42 PM   #4
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Default Re: Blagues, Humour et Fun



Ma première blague, je ne l'ai pas cherché, je m'en suis rappelé instinctivement, c'est pour ça qu'elle est si nulle et qu'elle est imbattable à mon avis.

Un lien pour une video musicale d'un penguin sous l'effet de quelques substances illicites.
http://www.rivelazioni.com/cgi-bin/mm/video.pl?id=29
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Last edited by Bea : 12-26-2004 at 12:01 AM.
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Old 12-26-2004, 11:55 PM   #5
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Default Re: Blagues, Humour et Fun

allez, on continue! deuxième fournée!
elles sont en anglais...et moi fatiguée et pas faire traduction!

What do you call an insincere hippo?
A hippocrite.

How can you get a hippo to do whatever you want?
Try hipponotism.

How do hippos commute?
In a hippopotabus.

What do you call two hippos riding a bicycle?
Optimistic.

How do you vaccinate a hippo?
With a hippodermic needle.

What do you give a seasick hippo?
Lots of room.

What did the hippo get when he started exercising every day?
Hippopotamuscles.

How can you be sure that a hippo is telling you the truth?
Have him take the Hippocratic Oath.

What do hippos put on their hot dogs?
Hippopotamustard.

Where should you bury a dead hippo?
In a hippocrypt.
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Old 12-27-2004, 07:31 PM   #6
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Default Re: Blagues, Humour et Fun

PERLES DE LA PRESSE FRANCAISE:

* Le mystère de la femme coupée en morceaux reste entier.
(Est-Éclair )

* Quand Honoré Gall s'est-il suicidé ? S'est-il donné la mort avant de
se jeter à l'eau ? (Le Progrès)

* Très gravement brûlée, elle s'est éteinte pendant son transport à
l'hôpital. (Dauphiné Actualité)

* Il lui bottait le derrière à tour de bras.

* Il abusait de la puissance de son sexe pour frapper son ex-épouse.

* En raison de la chaleur, les musiciens ne porteront que la casquette
de l'uniforme.(Ouest France)..

* M. Jean C. remercie chaleureusement les personnes qui ont pris part
au décès de son épouse.

* Elle est décédée mortellement.(La Creuse).

* Ses dernières paroles furent un silence farouche.

* L'église étant en travaux, ses obsèques ont été célébrées à la salle
des fêtes.

* Tous portaient une crêpe à la boutonnière.

* Ayant débuté comme simple fossoyeur, il a, depuis, fait son trou.)

* Détail navrant, cette personne avait déjà été victime l'an dernier
d'un accident mortel.

* Il a été superficiellement égorgé au bras.

* Quand vous doublez un cycliste, laissez lui toujours la place de
tomber.(Le Républicain Lorrain)

* Le climat et les eaux sont très humides.

* Les mosquées sont très nombreuses car les musulmans sont très
chrétiens.

* La conférence sur la constipation sera suivie d'un pot amical.(Ouest-France).

* Ses hémorroïdes l'empêchaient de fermer l'oeil.

* Il y aura un appareil de réanimation dernier cri.

* Chasse : Moins de cerfs, mais plus nombreux. (Dernières nouvelles
d'Alsace)..

* Tombola de la Société Bayonnaise des Amis des Oiseaux : le numéro
5963 gagne un fusil de chasse.

* A aucun moment le Christ n'a baissé les bras.(Le Paroissien de
Lamballe).

* Le syndicat des inséminateurs fait appel à la vigueur de ses
membres.

* Les kinés se sont massés contre les grilles de la préfecture.(Presse
Océan).

* Visiblement, la victime a été étranglée à coups de couteau.(Journal
du Dimanche).

* A Montaigu, la fête du 1er mai aura lieu le 1er mai.(Le Rouge
Choletais).

* C'est la foire des veaux et des porcs : venez nombreux ! (La Vie
Corrézienne).

* Journée du sang : s'inscrire à la boucherie.(Presse Océan).

* Véritable Pub anglais : spécialité couscous.(Le Télégramme).
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Old 12-27-2004, 07:35 PM   #7
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Default Re: Blagues, Humour et Fun

Mais c'est qu'il me cherche le Nicolas (qui préfère qu'on l'appelle Nick pour se la jouer Roméo ) avec son attaque sur les frenchies!

Tu veux vraiment une petite gueguerre "grenouilles" contre "frites belges"?

On n'est pas des stéréotypes nous!

mais je vais me venger!
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Old 12-27-2004, 07:40 PM   #8
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Default Re: Blagues, Humour et Fun



Désolé

Le "Nick", c'est même pas moi qui l'ait utilisé en 1er... Mais à force de voir les gens écrire mon nom comme cela (quand ils ne m'appelent pas Zoltan), je l'ai adopté.

Les blondes :
*Quelle est la première chose que fait une blonde le matin ?
- Elle rentre chez elle !


* Comment faire pour noyer une blonde dans une piscine ?
- En plaçant un miroir au fond de l'eau.


* Il y a une blonde qui est tombée du cinquième étage, savez-vous pourquoi ?
- Elle voulait tester ses ailes Always.


* Saviez-vous que 90% des accidents de voiture sont causés par des hommes saouls ?
- Oui, c'est parce que c'était leurs femmes qui conduisaient.


* Comment faire rire une blonde le lundi matin ?
- En lui racontant une blague le vendredi soir.


* Qu'est-ce qu'une blonde répond quand on lui demande si son clignotant de voiture fonctionne ?
- Il marche. Il marche pas. Il marche. Il marche pas. Il marche. Il marche pas...


* Une blonde et une brune tombent du haut d'un édifice. Laquelle des deux frappera le sol en premier ?
- La brune car la blonde aura perdu son chemin.
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Old 12-27-2004, 07:45 PM   #9
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Default Re: Blagues, Humour et Fun

je ne connais pas de blagues françaises et je suis sûre que je ne peux pas traduiser des blagues allemandes

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Old 12-27-2004, 07:45 PM   #10
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Default Re: Blagues, Humour et Fun

mais vos blagues étaient très drôles
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Old 12-27-2004, 07:46 PM   #11
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Default Re: Blagues, Humour et Fun

Moi aussi j'en ai 1 sur les blondes...

Comment reconnait-on l'ordinateur d'une blonde?
Y a plein de blanc sur l'écran...

Une autre, mais pas pour les blondes, y en faut pour tous les gouts...

Pourquoi est-il conseillé d'enlever ses lunettes quand on souffle dans le balon?
Car çà fera toujours 2 verres en moins...
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Old 12-27-2004, 07:49 PM   #12
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Default Re: Blagues, Humour et Fun

Merci Laura!

J'étais étonnée quand tu as dit que ça te prenais beaucoup de temps pour lire nos posts...ton français écrit est vraiment très bien.
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Old 12-27-2004, 08:09 PM   #13
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Default Re: Blagues, Humour et Fun

De temps en temps ça me prend beaucoup de temps

Peut-être moi aussi, je devrais écrire une blague je pense que j'essayerai... quand j'en aurai envie.

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Old 12-27-2004, 08:11 PM   #14
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Default Re: Blagues, Humour et Fun

Oh oui Escada, on veut une blague... s'il te plait!
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Old 12-27-2004, 08:11 PM   #15
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Default Re: Blagues, Humour et Fun

et merci pour le compliment Bea!
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