Developing feelings for a friend - MensTennisForums.com

MensTennisForums.com

MenstennisForums.com is the premier Men's Tennis forum on the internet. Registered Users do not see the above ads.Please Register - It's Free!

Reply

Old 11-03-2011, 12:53 AM   #1
country flag Grinder
Registered User
 
Grinder's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Age: 26
Posts: 5,006
Grinder has a reputation beyond reputeGrinder has a reputation beyond reputeGrinder has a reputation beyond reputeGrinder has a reputation beyond reputeGrinder has a reputation beyond reputeGrinder has a reputation beyond reputeGrinder has a reputation beyond reputeGrinder has a reputation beyond reputeGrinder has a reputation beyond reputeGrinder has a reputation beyond reputeGrinder has a reputation beyond repute
Cool Developing feelings for a friend

So there's this girl who I've been really good friends, probably my best friend that's a girl, for at least 4-5 years. I've had a few girlfriends, a lot of hookups, etc. in that time period and she's the only girl I've felt comfortable enough to confide in about relationships and personal problems. Lately, I feel like she's getting jealous when I get with other girls and I try to avoid hearing about her getting with other guys...there's definitely a physical attraction and I know she wants me...but I don't want to make a move because I value our friendship too much to ruin it over a few hookups. Anyone ever been in a situation like this?
__________________
Manchester City F.C.
2011-2012 English Premier League Champions
Grinder is offline View My Blog!   Reply With Quote
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 

Old 11-03-2011, 12:57 AM   #2
country flag Filo V.
Banned!
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Sleeping in the house of my latest jumpoff.
Posts: 34,909
Filo V. has a reputation beyond reputeFilo V. has a reputation beyond reputeFilo V. has a reputation beyond reputeFilo V. has a reputation beyond reputeFilo V. has a reputation beyond reputeFilo V. has a reputation beyond reputeFilo V. has a reputation beyond reputeFilo V. has a reputation beyond reputeFilo V. has a reputation beyond reputeFilo V. has a reputation beyond reputeFilo V. has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Developing feelings for a friend

I've had sex with like half of my circle of friends.

I've never been in situations like this because I know to cut off that potential in my head, unless it just happens organically, than otherwise, you can't push it. When I put you in friend zone than you stay in friend zone. But, others are different, so really it's up to you to decide if she's really feeling you or not, and if so, then asking her on a casual date or something light like that and going from there.
Filo V. is offline View My Blog!   Reply With Quote
Old 11-03-2011, 01:12 AM   #3
country flag Hewitt =Legend
Registered User
 
Hewitt =Legend's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Portugal (at heart)
Posts: 10,393
Hewitt =Legend has a reputation beyond reputeHewitt =Legend has a reputation beyond reputeHewitt =Legend has a reputation beyond reputeHewitt =Legend has a reputation beyond reputeHewitt =Legend has a reputation beyond reputeHewitt =Legend has a reputation beyond reputeHewitt =Legend has a reputation beyond reputeHewitt =Legend has a reputation beyond reputeHewitt =Legend has a reputation beyond reputeHewitt =Legend has a reputation beyond reputeHewitt =Legend has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Developing feelings for a friend

Quote:
Originally Posted by Grinder View Post
So there's this girl who I've been really good friends, probably my best friend that's a girl, for at least 4-5 years. I've had a few girlfriends, a lot of hookups, etc. in that time period and she's the only girl I've felt comfortable enough to confide in about relationships and personal problems. Lately, I feel like she's getting jealous when I get with other girls and I try to avoid hearing about her getting with other guys...there's definitely a physical attraction and I know she wants me...but I don't want to make a move because I value our friendship too much to ruin it over a few hookups. Anyone ever been in a situation like this?
I'm in pretty much the same situation right now as well mate. The difference with me is that I met this girl at uni and now the year has finished and she's now on the other side of the country. To me it sounds that you've definitely got feelings for her if you don't like hearing about other dudes she's got with. Of course it's hard to predict if it will work out in the long run and you don't want to do anything that puts your friendship in jeopardy. To me, at the end of the day, I like to look at things plain and simple... black and white... She likes you, you like here... give it a go, you only live once That's what I wish I did before summer break this year... I just didn't want to make things weird over the holidays before we see each other next year...
__________________
Life is an orange and you're just a little pip.

Ol' Rusty Hewitt - Keeping me moist since 1998.

B-Nard4Lyfe.

BoGaNtiLIdiE.
Hewitt =Legend is offline View My Blog!   Reply With Quote
Old 11-03-2011, 03:59 AM   #4
country flag TMJordan
Registered User
 
TMJordan's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 35,658
TMJordan has a reputation beyond reputeTMJordan has a reputation beyond reputeTMJordan has a reputation beyond reputeTMJordan has a reputation beyond reputeTMJordan has a reputation beyond reputeTMJordan has a reputation beyond reputeTMJordan has a reputation beyond reputeTMJordan has a reputation beyond reputeTMJordan has a reputation beyond reputeTMJordan has a reputation beyond reputeTMJordan has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Developing feelings for a friend

Quote:
Originally Posted by Filo V. View Post
I've had sex with like half of my circle of friends.
Monkey-like.
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by jcempire View Post
Suck SUCK

FUck Fuck

Idiot Idiot

John

you shit Isner

I hate you
TMJordan is offline View My Blog!   Reply With Quote
Old 11-03-2011, 04:04 AM   #5
country flag fast_clay
Registered User
 
fast_clay's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: ₫ṿﻁᶫỉᾔﺍᶏ
Posts: 15,730
fast_clay has a reputation beyond reputefast_clay has a reputation beyond reputefast_clay has a reputation beyond reputefast_clay has a reputation beyond reputefast_clay has a reputation beyond reputefast_clay has a reputation beyond reputefast_clay has a reputation beyond reputefast_clay has a reputation beyond reputefast_clay has a reputation beyond reputefast_clay has a reputation beyond reputefast_clay has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Developing feelings for a friend

i say get your lads mag out, get your blue vein junket pumper in hand and head straight to the toilet for a bit of the old Han Solo... bit of the old Grinder quality time alone...
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by SelvenluvJo View Post
why are you so seriously
fast_clay is offline View My Blog!   Reply With Quote
Old 11-03-2011, 04:41 AM   #6
country flag Orka_n
Registered User
 
Orka_n's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 15,551
Orka_n has a reputation beyond reputeOrka_n has a reputation beyond reputeOrka_n has a reputation beyond reputeOrka_n has a reputation beyond reputeOrka_n has a reputation beyond reputeOrka_n has a reputation beyond reputeOrka_n has a reputation beyond reputeOrka_n has a reputation beyond reputeOrka_n has a reputation beyond reputeOrka_n has a reputation beyond reputeOrka_n has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Developing feelings for a friend

Quote:
Originally Posted by Grinder View Post
So there's this girl who I've been really good friends, probably my best friend that's a girl, for at least 4-5 years. I've had a few girlfriends, a lot of hookups, etc. in that time period and she's the only girl I've felt comfortable enough to confide in about relationships and personal problems. Lately, I feel like she's getting jealous when I get with other girls and I try to avoid hearing about her getting with other guys...there's definitely a physical attraction and I know she wants me...but I don't want to make a move because I value our friendship too much to ruin it over a few hookups. Anyone ever been in a situation like this?
I have, and I told the girl how I felt. It didn't work out in the end but I'm still happy I told her. Because here's the deal (if you haven't already realized it): your relationship with this girl changed the moment you developed some feelings for her. Even if you don't make a move now it probably won't go back to what it was anyway. And if you hesitate because you don't want to ruin the friendship "over a few hookups", what do you think about dating her more seriously?
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by nadalfan2013 View Post
I didn't see the match but I hope Nadal's injury isn't too serious. Get well soon Rafa!
During Nadal vs Kyrgios:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Speed of Light View Post
Rafa you are my hero I hope I will never live to see the day you start losing matches regularly to mugs like this.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Speed of Light View Post
If Rafa loses today, that's it. I'm done with tennis.
Orka_n is offline View My Blog!   Reply With Quote
Old 11-03-2011, 01:26 PM   #7
country flag Bilbo
Registered User
 
Bilbo's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Lena-Land
Posts: 73,673
Bilbo has a reputation beyond reputeBilbo has a reputation beyond reputeBilbo has a reputation beyond reputeBilbo has a reputation beyond reputeBilbo has a reputation beyond reputeBilbo has a reputation beyond reputeBilbo has a reputation beyond reputeBilbo has a reputation beyond reputeBilbo has a reputation beyond reputeBilbo has a reputation beyond reputeBilbo has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Developing feelings for a friend

Usually it's very difficult to come out of the friend zone. You've to get physical with a girl right at the beginning when you met her for the first time. Otherwise she will see you as a pussy and think you are not interested in her sexually.

In my opinion you should give it a go but you shouldn't wait too long. The most important thing is to give a shit what other people think of you when it comes to women. Even if it doesn't end good for you, you have shown that you are not a pussy and even she knows that.
Bilbo is offline View My Blog!   Reply With Quote
Old 11-03-2011, 01:53 PM   #8
country flag Johnny Groove
Future ATP Star
 
Johnny Groove's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: South Florida
Age: 24
Posts: 34,958
Johnny Groove has a reputation beyond reputeJohnny Groove has a reputation beyond reputeJohnny Groove has a reputation beyond reputeJohnny Groove has a reputation beyond reputeJohnny Groove has a reputation beyond reputeJohnny Groove has a reputation beyond reputeJohnny Groove has a reputation beyond reputeJohnny Groove has a reputation beyond reputeJohnny Groove has a reputation beyond reputeJohnny Groove has a reputation beyond reputeJohnny Groove has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Developing feelings for a friend

Just go for it and see what happens, dude.

No shame.
__________________
Respect the Laws of MTF
Brush up on your tennis history, people- Top 101 Tennis Players of all Time
Quote:
Originally Posted by Nathaliia View Post
What do you like doing on MTF most?
Reading Johnny Groove threads.

Quote:
Originally Posted by tripwires View Post
Johnny blurs the line between grandeur and grandiose
Johnny Groove is offline View My Blog!   Reply With Quote
Old 11-03-2011, 02:25 PM   #9
country flag out_here_grindin
Registered User
 
out_here_grindin's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: San Antonio,TX
Posts: 10,034
out_here_grindin has a reputation beyond reputeout_here_grindin has a reputation beyond reputeout_here_grindin has a reputation beyond reputeout_here_grindin has a reputation beyond reputeout_here_grindin has a reputation beyond reputeout_here_grindin has a reputation beyond reputeout_here_grindin has a reputation beyond reputeout_here_grindin has a reputation beyond reputeout_here_grindin has a reputation beyond reputeout_here_grindin has a reputation beyond reputeout_here_grindin has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Developing feelings for a friend

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bilbo View Post
Usually it's very difficult to come out of the friend zone. You've to get physical with a girl right at the beginning when you met her for the first time. Otherwise she will see you as a pussy and think you are not interested in her sexually.

In my opinion you should give it a go but you shouldn't wait too long. The most important thing is to give a shit what other people think of you when it comes to women. Even if it doesn't end good for you, you have shown that you are not a pussy and even she knows that.
or that you are just a friend.
__________________
Paradorn Srichaphan
Kei Nishikori, Donald Young, Somdev Devvarman, Dustin Brown, Steve Johnson, Yannick Maden
Robert Farah, Clement Reix, Alexander Dolgopolov, Nathan Thompson


Follow college tennis here.. (I am the user Clemson_tennis)
out_here_grindin is offline View My Blog!   Reply With Quote
Old 11-03-2011, 02:35 PM   #10
country flag Bilbo
Registered User
 
Bilbo's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2004
Location: Lena-Land
Posts: 73,673
Bilbo has a reputation beyond reputeBilbo has a reputation beyond reputeBilbo has a reputation beyond reputeBilbo has a reputation beyond reputeBilbo has a reputation beyond reputeBilbo has a reputation beyond reputeBilbo has a reputation beyond reputeBilbo has a reputation beyond reputeBilbo has a reputation beyond reputeBilbo has a reputation beyond reputeBilbo has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Developing feelings for a friend

Quote:
Originally Posted by out_here_grindin View Post
or that you are just a friend.
exactly, this would be the consequence.
Bilbo is offline View My Blog!   Reply With Quote
Old 11-03-2011, 02:37 PM   #11
country flag Filo V.
Banned!
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Sleeping in the house of my latest jumpoff.
Posts: 34,909
Filo V. has a reputation beyond reputeFilo V. has a reputation beyond reputeFilo V. has a reputation beyond reputeFilo V. has a reputation beyond reputeFilo V. has a reputation beyond reputeFilo V. has a reputation beyond reputeFilo V. has a reputation beyond reputeFilo V. has a reputation beyond reputeFilo V. has a reputation beyond reputeFilo V. has a reputation beyond reputeFilo V. has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Developing feelings for a friend

Quote:
Originally Posted by TMJordan View Post
Monkey-like.
I don't consider that an insult, it's called getting it in, Jordan.
Filo V. is offline View My Blog!   Reply With Quote
Old 11-03-2011, 02:46 PM   #12
country flag Time Violation
Slacker
 
Time Violation's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Mount Sharp
Age: 35
Posts: 11,206
Time Violation has a reputation beyond reputeTime Violation has a reputation beyond reputeTime Violation has a reputation beyond reputeTime Violation has a reputation beyond reputeTime Violation has a reputation beyond reputeTime Violation has a reputation beyond reputeTime Violation has a reputation beyond reputeTime Violation has a reputation beyond reputeTime Violation has a reputation beyond reputeTime Violation has a reputation beyond reputeTime Violation has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Developing feelings for a friend

Quote:
Originally Posted by Grinder View Post
So there's this girl who I've been really good friends, probably my best friend that's a girl, for at least 4-5 years. I've had a few girlfriends, a lot of hookups, etc. in that time period and she's the only girl I've felt comfortable enough to confide in about relationships and personal problems. Lately, I feel like she's getting jealous when I get with other girls and I try to avoid hearing about her getting with other guys...there's definitely a physical attraction and I know she wants me...but I don't want to make a move because I value our friendship too much to ruin it over a few hookups. Anyone ever been in a situation like this?
Lol, if she wants you and there is mutual attraction, then consider your friendship ruined already

__________________
“There’s so many athletes, tennis players around the world,” he continued, trying to put his life into some kind of perspective, “they want to be the best in what they do. They want to succeed. Many of them, they don’t succeed in the end. I’m fortunate to have this opportunity and succeed.”
Time Violation is online now View My Blog!   Reply With Quote
Old 11-03-2011, 03:15 PM   #13
country flag Grinder
Registered User
 
Grinder's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Age: 26
Posts: 5,006
Grinder has a reputation beyond reputeGrinder has a reputation beyond reputeGrinder has a reputation beyond reputeGrinder has a reputation beyond reputeGrinder has a reputation beyond reputeGrinder has a reputation beyond reputeGrinder has a reputation beyond reputeGrinder has a reputation beyond reputeGrinder has a reputation beyond reputeGrinder has a reputation beyond reputeGrinder has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Developing feelings for a friend

Haha, I should have mentioned the reason we never hooked up when we first met and nothing ever happened is because she had a boyfriend for 4 years who she recently broke up with. I was in college, in a frat, and when I wasn't in a relationship, I was going wild enjoying the single life.

Now I'm insanely busy in med school, don't go out anywhere near as often as I used to and don't have much time to meet girls so I end up talking to this girl a lot more. I'd love to have a no strings attached type of physical relationship with her because I have absolutely no time for a girlfriend right now. I feel like putting in her in that kind of situation is disrespectful to her and would ultimately lead to ruining our friendship, which is sort of my dilemma.
__________________
Manchester City F.C.
2011-2012 English Premier League Champions
Grinder is offline View My Blog!   Reply With Quote
Old 11-03-2011, 03:17 PM   #14
country flag nadejda
Registered User
 
nadejda's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 2,643
nadejda has a reputation beyond reputenadejda has a reputation beyond reputenadejda has a reputation beyond reputenadejda has a reputation beyond reputenadejda has a reputation beyond reputenadejda has a reputation beyond reputenadejda has a reputation beyond reputenadejda has a reputation beyond reputenadejda has a reputation beyond reputenadejda has a reputation beyond reputenadejda has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Developing feelings for a friend

Quote:
Originally Posted by Orka_n View Post
I have, and I told the girl how I felt. It didn't work out in the end but I'm still happy I told her. Because here's the deal (if you haven't already realized it): your relationship with this girl changed the moment you developed some feelings for her. Even if you don't make a move now it probably won't go back to what it was anyway. And if you hesitate because you don't want to ruin the friendship "over a few hookups", what do you think about dating her more seriously?
this

You got to give it a try, especially if you feel she is attracted to you as well.
__________________
Roger Federer

Grigor Dimitrov

Soderling Cilic Murray Gasquet Tsonga Wawrinka Kohlshreiber Fognini Berdych Haas Melzer F.Lopes Nieminen Pospisil Davydenko Baghdatis Mahut Bellucci Berankis Harrison Troicki

Sampras & Safin

most beautiful sports: volleyball and tennis
nadejda is online now View My Blog!   Reply With Quote
Old 11-03-2011, 03:23 PM   #15
country flag nadejda
Registered User
 
nadejda's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 2,643
nadejda has a reputation beyond reputenadejda has a reputation beyond reputenadejda has a reputation beyond reputenadejda has a reputation beyond reputenadejda has a reputation beyond reputenadejda has a reputation beyond reputenadejda has a reputation beyond reputenadejda has a reputation beyond reputenadejda has a reputation beyond reputenadejda has a reputation beyond reputenadejda has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Developing feelings for a friend

Quote:
Originally Posted by Grinder View Post
Haha, I should have mentioned the reason we never hooked up when we first met and nothing ever happened is because she had a boyfriend for 4 years who she recently broke up with. I was in college, in a frat, and when I wasn't in a relationship, I was going wild enjoying the single life.

Now I'm insanely busy in med school, don't go out anywhere near as often as I used to and don't have much time to meet girls so I end up talking to this girl a lot more. I'd love to have a no strings attached type of physical relationship with her because I have absolutely no time for a girlfriend right now. I feel like putting in her in that kind of situation is disrespectful to her and would ultimately lead to ruining our friendship, which is sort of my dilemma.
no time? really?
If there is a fealing who cares about time.
Why do you think you have the right to dictate what your relationships will develop into?
The best strategy is to have no stategy. Just go the way you feel it in the moment you feel it and that's it. Enjoy
I find people trying to protect themselves and to describe the way the relationships will go in the beggining delusional. No offense
__________________
Roger Federer

Grigor Dimitrov

Soderling Cilic Murray Gasquet Tsonga Wawrinka Kohlshreiber Fognini Berdych Haas Melzer F.Lopes Nieminen Pospisil Davydenko Baghdatis Mahut Bellucci Berankis Harrison Troicki

Sampras & Safin

most beautiful sports: volleyball and tennis
nadejda is online now View My Blog!   Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump


Copyright (C) Verticalscope Inc
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.6.8
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
vBCredits v1.4 Copyright ©2007, PixelFX Studios