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Old 11-17-2007, 05:54 PM   #1
country flag I<3Lindsay
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Default I have a problem, I need your guys' opinions

Okay, I have this little thing, and I need to know what you guys think.

First of all, I'm 16. My brother has 2 kids, and a wife. A little background on them: they were high school sweethearts, when they were seniors she slept with another man from her work on New Years Eve. In general, she doesn't have a good reputation and my mom never liked her background or really her family's background (they drink a lot, fight, that sort of thing). Anyway, after she cheated on him they broke up, and my mom told him she didn't approve of her, etc, so I guess as sort of a plan to get to stay together, he got her pregnant. So, she had her first child her first year in college, they're now both 24.

This weekend, he is gone at a basketball tournament. So, last night she wanted to go out drinking, so she asked me to babysit. I said sure, and I watched their kids until 3 am! Anyway, she gets home, she's drunk, and there's this guy with her. He's a real douche bag, and he's from a town about 45 minutes away, Farmersville (which is where she grew up, and her parents/brother still live). But this guy, he's a friend of her brother's, and her brother is outside in the car waiting to give me a ride home! So I hear the guy say "hey, so did you want me to stay the night?" she says yeah, then she goes outside to talk to her brother and I hear "you're so stupid, you idiot" screaming, her brother is yelling at her, she's not really saying anything.

So... I live just down the street, and the brother is on his way home and he's got 2 friends in his car. So, he gives me a ride home (he hasn't been drinking, his 2 friends have, so have my brother's wife and the guy that's at the house).


So, I go home. Her brother and 2 of his friends go back to Famersville, but this one guy stays the night. So, this morning, me, being the caniving person I am, I go back up to her house because I left my cell phone charger there, and what do I see when I walk in? He's lying on the floor, she's on the couch about 3 feet away from the floor. He's asleep, she's awake, so I walk in, say hi, tell her I'm getting my cell phone charger, and leave.




Now where I need your help: would you assume she's having an affair with this guy? I mean, she acted a little weird last night and this morning when I was there... she's not really even friends with this guy, he's just her brother's friend (and, apparently, he is sick in some way because earlier in the week she took him to the doctor). But, why would she have him spend the night if they weren't having an affair? Why not her brother, or NO ONE? Why does she need anyone?

I just want to know, what should I do? Just not tell anyone aobut this? Go to my mom? Go to my brother? My brother's wife? Find out more information before I say anything? Or say something to just my mom and let her find out more??? Opinions, please!
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Old 11-17-2007, 06:22 PM   #2
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Default Re: I have a problem, I need your guys' opinions

Hi,

At first this is a very delicate issue and all you are making, is an assumption. Yes, this looks very probable they had an affair, basing on the alcohol they had and the woman doing similar things in the past. But we can't judge people basing on that only.

Telling a person like your brother that his beloved wife cheated on him, will most likely turn him against YOU at first, because it is very natural that people don't want to believe their love cheats. He may be hurt, and he looks really sensible and addicted to that woman, minding he got her pregnant just to stay with her.

As for your mom, she can make the mistakes and overreact, because she loves your brother and dislikes his wife, her reactions can be too impulsive, and when finding out, may be biased and play the things wrong. I am saying this without knowing her though, just basing on what you write and what average mothers do.

You are only 16 but sound like a sense making person, probably the best what you can do is to go straight to your brother's wife and saying to her what is worrying you exactly, that you love your bro, want him to be happy, you accept the relationship that is going on and that you are a person responsible enough to be trusted. You should probably tell her you aren't going to blackmail her or repeat to your brother. I know this is a big thing for you to do, mentally and probably physically, as we never know how the woman reacts. But trust me, that the less chains between you who saw and her who probably did, the better. It's something between her and you, so should be solved between her and you, I reckon. I also think that honesty is the basement of a relationship, personally I would forgive a cheat if I was told about it, because if it came out later somehow, I would feel not only cheated, but also lied to for so long. And this has nothing to do with love definitely. Probably asking the woman how she REALLY feels for your brother is good, keeping a relationship for the sake of it, when both sides are hurt, is nothing good either and a horrible waste of time and self esteem. Maybe if she feels she is lacking something, or if she feels any kind guilty, you should encourage her to talk to your brother directly and if she has her rights speaking after keeping it in secret and not repeating this mistake, then probably this should be kept as a secret.

Whatever you decide to do, this has to be your decision and not because someone from the internet forum tells you to do something, just remember that it is so easy to hurt somebody's feelings by saying too much or getting too much into somebody's life.

I hope things will work out well in the end,
cheers,
Nathii
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Old 11-17-2007, 10:16 PM   #3
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Default Re: I have a problem, I need your guys' opinions

Mind your own business and stay away from your sister-in-law from now on. With her husband out of town you should have known better than to babysit her kids while she went out drinking. Cut your losses now. It is not your problem.
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Old 11-18-2007, 12:44 AM   #4
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Default Re: I have a problem, I need your guys' opinions

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Originally Posted by buddyholly View Post
Mind your own business and stay away from your sister-in-law from now on. With her husband out of town you should have known better than to babysit her kids while she went out drinking. Cut your losses now. It is not your problem.
:retard: I guess it's not common in Costa Rica to care for your family but, in the US, it is. I <3 Davenport, tell your brother that his wife had a man in the house and they were both drunk. He has the right to know.
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Old 11-18-2007, 03:20 PM   #5
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Default Re: I have a problem, I need your guys' opinions

Thanks for the input guys... I guess the way I feel is this: regardless of whether they did anything or not, she did have a man in the house while he was away, and they were drunk. Now, if it turns out my brother new about it and it was because the friend needed to be in Cuba the next day or something, fine, I'll be relieved! But, there's still a chance that it wasn't entirely honest, and I think my brother, somehow, has the right to know
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Old 11-18-2007, 05:27 PM   #6
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Default Re: I have a problem, I need your guys' opinions

Quote:
Originally Posted by Roshane View Post
:retard: I guess it's not common in Costa Rica to care for your family but, in the US, it is.
In Costa Rica I think a sister-in-law is also considered family.
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Old 11-18-2007, 05:29 PM   #7
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Default Re: I have a problem, I need your guys' opinions

Quote:
Originally Posted by I♥Davenport View Post
Now, if it turns out my brother new about it and it was because the friend needed to be in Cuba the next day or something, fine, I'll be relieved!
I am intrigued about what Cuba has to do with all this.
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Old 11-18-2007, 05:32 PM   #8
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Default Re: I have a problem, I need your guys' opinions

I just saw Farmersville and had to laugh.

Other than that, I can't give advice.
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Old 11-18-2007, 05:44 PM   #9
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Default Re: I have a problem, I need your guys' opinions

Quote:
Originally Posted by buddyholly View Post
I am intrigued about what Cuba has to do with all this.
Cuba's not just a country It's a town.
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