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Old 08-05-2006, 04:10 PM   #1
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Default Yasmine et ses discussions sur l'humanitaire

Bon voilà puisque la majorité d'entre vous savent que je suis impliquée dans une association humanitaire, des fois j'ai besoin de discuter de projets qu'on est en train de monter donc j'ouvre ma thread à moi ici
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Old 08-05-2006, 04:16 PM   #2
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Default Re: Yasmine et ses discussions sur l'humanitaire

Alors rentrons dans le vif du sujet

En ce moment on est en train de préparer un projet de construction et d'équipement d'une maternité au Maroc, en zone rurale berbère, très sèche et aride. Et les hopitaux dignes de ce nom sont à 2-3h de route, donc imaginez que les filles ne vont pas faire du chemin pour accoucher... Résultat: elles accouchent dans des conditions d'hygiène et de sécurité très pauvres et mortalité infantile et maternelle est importante.

Donc en attachement, le fichier Word qui parle du projet. Et évidemment on est en train de chercher des financements donc ce serait bien d'avoir votre avis sur ce qui va ce qui est pas clair, ce qui va pas etc...

merci
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Old 08-05-2006, 04:17 PM   #3
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Default Re: Yasmine et ses discussions sur l'humanitaire

Pas de problème
Et pas question de dévier (ou pas trop du moins) sur ce thread...C'est quand même un sujet plus sérieux que les autres.
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Old 08-05-2006, 04:22 PM   #4
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Default Re: Yasmine et ses discussions sur l'humanitaire

Merci Nico oui c'est un sujet sérieux, en plus de me tenir à coeur
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Old 08-05-2006, 04:41 PM   #5
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Default Re: Yasmine et ses discussions sur l'humanitaire

Comme j'ai dit dans l'autre thread, je n'ai pas beaucoup de temps maintenant mais je vais en prendre ce soir pour lire plus attentivement.
Tu veux qu'on fasse quoi exactement? Des remarques sur le texte...Aussi bien le fonds que la forme.... Des idées (si on en a) pour améliorer le projet...???
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Old 08-05-2006, 04:43 PM   #6
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Default Re: Yasmine et ses discussions sur l'humanitaire

je lirai ça plus tard à tête reposée, à plus tard
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Old 08-05-2006, 04:44 PM   #7
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Default Re: Yasmine et ses discussions sur l'humanitaire

ben oui Nico tout ça
c'est dur d'être objectif quand on est dedans... mais c'est pas grave prenez votre temps, de toutes façons faut qu'on que je le re rédige sous un format différent pour une subvention (chaque organisme qui subventionne a son format ses fiches etc pffff)
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Old 08-05-2006, 05:55 PM   #8
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Default Re: Yasmine et ses discussions sur l'humanitaire

ouais j'ai connu ça, à chaque fois faut tout reformuler pour que ça convienne
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Old 08-05-2006, 07:56 PM   #9
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Default Re: Yasmine et ses discussions sur l'humanitaire

tout à fait donc en fait tu te dis j'en fais un et ça va mais non faut en écrire je ne sais combien
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Old 08-05-2006, 10:42 PM   #10
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Default Re: Yasmine et ses discussions sur l'humanitaire

Moi je trouve ça très bien. Peut-être améliorer la construction de l'une ou l'autre phrase ( genre : Les femmes, considérées souvent sans emploi... cela sonne pas fort français). Mais c'est un détail..Le projet est vraiment
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Old 08-05-2006, 11:33 PM   #11
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Default Re: Yasmine et ses discussions sur l'humanitaire

oui la description va bien, j'ai modifié 2-3 choses quand ça sonnait peu français, mais par contre, les étapes du projet sont pas tres claires dans la partie "justification du projet", notamment tu parles de "comme dans la 1ere tranche du projet": je me suis demandé, quel projet? Tu parles aussi de "dans un 2eme temps": il faudrait essayer de clarifier les étapes plus clairement, dire celles qui sont finies, celles qui restent à faire. (en gros si j'ai bien compris, il y a deux étapes ou tranches dans le projet: la construction du batiment, et son équipement en matériels adaptés?)
Egalement, concernant les coûts, c'est pas clair si c'est 20,000 euros qu'il faut ou deux fois 20,000 euros. Si c'est qu'une fois, il y a un doublon qu'on peut éviter à mon avis (deux paragraphes a refondé en un).
Je mets mes modifs en fichier joint (faudra que je le relise encore, il s'agit que d'une 1ere relecture rapide):
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Old 08-05-2006, 11:34 PM   #12
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Default Re: Yasmine et ses discussions sur l'humanitaire

y aura des trucs à modifier dans mes commentaires en fonction des eclaircissements
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Old 08-05-2006, 11:35 PM   #13
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Default Re: Yasmine et ses discussions sur l'humanitaire

merci pour vos suggestions Nico et Cyrille
Je regarde tes modifs cyrille
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Old 08-05-2006, 11:36 PM   #14
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Default Re: Yasmine et ses discussions sur l'humanitaire

bon je regarde et je réponds ici à tes questions Cyrille
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Old 08-05-2006, 11:55 PM   #15
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Default Re: Yasmine et ses discussions sur l'humanitaire

le mieux serait qu'on se prenne un peu de temps sur msn demain si tu veux et peux
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