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Psychological Help and Self Help Thread. Come on in.

5K views 73 replies 20 participants last post by  miura88 
#1 ·
If you have any problems going on in your life and feel you want a little guidance come on in! :).
I'm a very reasonable person who is willing to help others. I have a background in Psychology and am good with helping others.

So please if you want to share, you may, I will listen with all ears :). Keep it anonymous as possible.

Those who don't give a *#*!@ and want to say "Mug Thread", or "Man Up" there is plenty of other threads for you to do that. :rolleyes:
 
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#3 ·
Yeah I am, I'm being genuine :). Please anything. Getting annoyed with Family, Friends are acting weird, Noticing weird emotions. Feeling a little down. Willing to talk.

Also, to be honest I don't even know what ACC is, other then that it is causing unnecessary drama :p.
 
#4 ·
good thread Kowchi! I've gotten annoyed with my family for most of my life, so I sympathize.

What kind of emotions are you feeling if you don't mind me asking? Are the irritations with your family a new occurrence? or does this happen more often?
And do you think your friends acting weird might be a reaction to you feeling a little down? or do you think it's the other way around?

feel free to pm me if you want :)
 
#5 ·
Ohh I was referring to others, if they had this issue. Right now I'm pretty stable and can't complain. Though I appreciate you wanting to help.

Shows good character :)
 
#6 ·
i hate my job, i rarely use the word hate but i really hate my job, im searching for a new one but It requires patience.
then i will have a new job i will be much more happy.
 
#60 · (Edited)
I am convinced that all jobs suck, of course none are as bad as mine. I think about quitting every single day. I've been there too long, it requires no skill, totally wastes my abilities and I peaked at the job unless I want to be in a supervisory position but I'd rather kill myself than be a supervisor at my job. The only possible benefit of being supervisor at my job would be that it would transform me into a tyrant and I've always wanted to try my hand at tyranny.
 
#9 ·
My biggest problem is poor self-confidence, though.
oh fair enough :)

Bulldog, that is my biggest problem as well.
i think everyone deal with this problem, if someone say no i tend to believe he is lying..

The difference is the intensity and how we let it affect us

:hug:brave to say it
 
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#15 ·
If you don't mind me asking, what sort of problems do you yourself encounter with poor self-confidence? With me, it kind of leads to isolation from others, especially when things aren't going my way.

i think everyone deal with this problem, if someone say no i tend to believe he is lying..

The difference is the intensity and how we let it affect us

:hug:brave to say it
Cheers Amber! :) I agree, but I think some people are more affected by poor self-esteem than others.
 
#11 ·
Top notch thread. There's no shame in opening up.
 
#17 ·
I'm having trouble trolling on the internet :confused:
 
#22 ·
Some days I wake up and feel like I can do anything. It seldom happens like that, though. Every hit I take makes me back down even more, and inhibits my ability to excel. It's a vicious circle, because the less confident you are, the more likely you are to make mistakes, which in turn makes you feel even less confident and the cycle repeats itself to a more devastating extent each time. In essence, it's the fear of being wrong.
 
#24 ·
well I guess we are facing the same problems m8. How would you say your view on the world is, generally speaking? To elaborate I'm a bit of a pessimist, which I think is at the root of some of my problems.
 
#28 ·
dont u think that its easiest to believe when someone else believe in u? i think it gives u alot of power.
 
#32 ·
Wow I wake up to this. This community can be amazing sometimes. In a great way.

I will psycho analyze stuff in a little while, give me a little bit.
 
#33 ·
Psych Tips, Help

Punky: Job hatred happens. Trust me I worked as a dish washer at Noodles and Company over the summer and was ready to shoot myself. The best way to not hate you job is to find the good people their. Open up to someone you haven't before, learn something new about a fellow co-worker. Also if you deal with customers ask them how their day is going, and when they ask how your's is, you say FANTASTIC or Swell. I guarantee that will put a smile on your face, as well as theirs. Plus its hard to say the word Fantastic or Awesome without breaking out a smile :). You can tell me your specific situation if you would like but this is just general advice.

Jverweji:Self Confidence is hard thing for anyone to deal with. Especially when it comes to jobs :rolleyes: and your well being. I really didn't gain self confidence till I lost some weight and made some new friends. Really it took me getting serious about Tennis to help out my self confidence. You can make the same change, by doing something you love and finding people who love the same things as you. If you can be confident in what you do, that will change your life dramatically in all aspects. You will be able to wake up with a brighter face, a better attitude and people will take notice and respect you more. I'm not only preaching this; IT IS reality. Try your best to find something that makes you happy and get outside and do it. Also doing a new hobby helps. Anything from Yoga, to riding a bike around, or looking at your laptop in the park, will help you become a healthier more happy person.
In relation to jobs, try everything, take up your friends offers, don't feel guilty, be grateful! If you work your tail off at a job good things will happen :cool:

Bulldog: Self confidence is a very hard thing as I mentioned above. It's hard to be yourself and be confident. The best thing you can do is to do something that you love. Go outside, do something different and TRUST me your outlook will change dramatically. Also diet can affect this sort of stuff. Idk if this applies to you or anyone else, but sometimes an apple or orange can change your attitude for the better. If you find yourself feeling down, you have to remember the simple great things in your life: friends, family, food, school, job, hobbies, home etc. As I was saying to Punky, using positive adjectives really make you happy, and those around us happy. Also positivity can lead to great things.

Goatsol:Something tells me it may not be OCD, but general anxiety. I was in a Freshman dorm room at a Uni last year and it's a BIG change. All of the sudden you are around different people, you have to manage your own schedule and homework, and no one to tell you what to do. Probably increased anxiety from homework and having to do everything yourself. Organization may reduce your symptoms,like planner or calendar; or setting distinct time for Study and MTF/social life. If you have any questions on dorm life, please go ahead and ask I immersed myself in both the guy side of dorm life, as well as girl dorm life. (Had our small guy floor and a small girl floor above us). Also study tips etc happy to help.


This is a lot but I tried giving general advice, if you expand on your specific situation I might be able to help more :)
 
#34 ·
Psych Tips, Help

Jverweji:Self Confidence is hard thing for anyone to deal with. Especially when it comes to jobs :rolleyes: and your well being. I really didn't gain self confidence till I lost some weight and made some new friends. Really it took me getting serious about Tennis to help out my self confidence. You can make the same change, by doing something you love and finding people who love the same things as you. If you can be confident in what you do, that will change your life dramatically in all aspects. You will be able to wake up with a brighter face, a better attitude and people will take notice and respect you more. I'm not only preaching this; IT IS reality. Try your best to find something that makes you happy and get outside and do it. Also doing a new hobby helps. Anything from Yoga, to riding a bike around, or looking at your laptop in the park, will help you become a healthier more happy person.
In relation to jobs, try everything, take up your friends offers, don't feel guilty, be grateful! If you work your tail off at a job good things will happen :cool:

This is a lot but I tried giving general advice, if you expand on your specific situation I might be able to help more :)
My self confidence is really only a problem with work-related stuff, I'm very good with people fortunately :)
With regards to finding something that makes you happy, that is hitting the nail right on the head for me. Very hard for me to determine what I like (as opposed to what I don't like, that is easy :p). I am in fact working at that, and it is slowly getting better. (I did apply for a job aswell :))
Thanks for your insights, I appreciate it.
 
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#41 ·
Bitching is ok. If you leave your thoughts and feelings pent up inside you, things will only get worse. Best thing to do is tell someone how you feel :)
 
#42 ·
im telling my friend about it, they are helping me find another job but at the moment its a little problem b/c im an intern
 
#43 ·
Speaking of psychological things. I've dipped into a bout of depression over school it seems. Finals are coming up and am stressing over grades and doing well; lets just say I'm not sitting comfortably in most my classes.

It's so weird, because this is the first time I have ever experienced depression... ever :/. I'm such a happy confident guy and school has never gotten to me before but for some reason I'm losing it :sad:

Words of encouragement anyone?
 
#44 ·
Just sit down, open your books and study. That's all you can do. Convince yourself that failing is not the end of the world (because it isn't) but do your best so you have no regrets. Don't stress, just do your best and see what it gets you, one of the good things about uni (high school?) is that you are young and if you fail there's always time to do it over.
 
#50 ·
Still need encouraging? I saw you made a topic of this encouraging others :lol:

I used to stress over exams in high school and university but I developed the way of the warrior. To convince yourself that failure is not an option.

Your goals are your prey, and your mind is a sword. Your sword is unyielding, unbreakable, invincible and can slice through even the toughest of metals.

Exams are nothing. You should go all-out, do 5 hours work without breaks, focus your mind to the task at hand and do not waver good sir. Show no mercy.
 
#45 ·
Don't be afraid to speak up as well. Inform your lecturers/head tutors, and/or at worst, the Uni advisors. They'll give you some great advice too.
 
#47 ·
It was difficult reading these troubled stories. It moved me so much that I just want to give all of you guys a hug :awww: :hug:
 
#48 ·
This past year has probably been the worst of my life. I will be glad when 2012 draws to a close to be quite honest.

My aunt, who I was close to, got diagnosed with a terminal illness in October of last year and died in February. In the meantime, my mum went into a serious depression (combined with alcoholism), ended up ranting at me for hours upon end on a nightly basis, and there were several unsuccessful suicide attempts on her part. I didn't speak to anyone about it until recently and just let it bottle up - it's something I've done all my life.

As a result, I experienced a huge loss of self-esteem, my diet went out the window completely and I ballooned in weight. There were days in which I didn't get out of bed, and weeks in which I didn't leave the house. I didn't want to talk to anyone. Thus, the relationship with my ex-girlfriend deteriorated to a point in which I couldn't commit to her as I was such an emotional wreck and would have just brought her down. Now she's with someone else.

Funnily enough, though, her leaving me to shack up with someone else has been the trigger to sort my life out. The past 6 weeks, I've gotten my life back on track - joined the gym, regular exercise, improved my diet, and a bit of retail therapy. I've lost 7kg in the past month and feel 10000% better and I feel like I can start a conversation with anyone which is something I haven't been able to do for a while now. This is particularly useful for meeting new people, as most of my old friends have either moved away or are married/in a LTR which means I barely get to see them at all.

I have no idea whether my ex will come crawling back, but honestly I'm not entirely bothered, as I have to look after myself first and foremost.
 
#49 ·
that is alot of hardship in one year mate. Good to hear you are on your way back. It's commendable that you share this with us, especially since you said you are a person who bottles things up :yeah:. I sincerely hope 2013 will be a better year for you!
 
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#51 ·
Yeah actually I got over the slump pretty quickly :). I realized how petty it is to stress over exams, I have better things going for me then to worry about exams.
 
#56 ·
Stories like yours jmjhb, are the ones that benefit society. ;).

Not only is your life better, but others who read your story are motivated, regular posters and lurkers a like. Trust me it's true. It's like the one person in class asking the question everyone is thinking, secretly they are all thanking him or her for doing it.

For real though, Props Jmjhb! You will continue to grow and become a better person in 2013, I KNOW it! :D
 
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#57 ·
Was playing in a tournament last weekend. Won the first round 6-2, 6-3. 2nd round I won the first set 6-2, and had 30-15 in the first game of the 2nd set. I served, but didn't see where the ball landed. My arm/shoulder felt as though it ripped out of the socket or something, a recurrence of a long, long, long term injury, almost 4 year shoulder injury. I thought of retiring, but I had never and will never.

I started underhand serving, returning and closing the net, just played it out as I ended up losing 6-2, 0-6, 1-6. The bigger thing is that this shoulder has been bothering me forever and finally I thought I had it healed fully. I was playing well, starting to hit my stride and now this shit again. I cannot tell you how frustrating it is dealing with such an injury over so many years, some members of my family even my own mother telling me to quit and do something useful in my life while my soul tells me to keep fighting despite all odds and reasonable opinion.

So I must go on, continue to endure. Earlier today I was in the gym working on some arm exercises, and I came close to crying. Just not being able to overcome this after such a long time, KNOWING I can play with guys ranked like 5,000 ATP when healthy, but simply not being able to do so. I pray to God every day, every night, will it ever heal? And if it does, will it stay healed?
 
#58 ·
Use the Scale Technique

Johnny Groove, people can tell you to follow your dreams and they are right...most of the time. Sometimes as humans we have to look at reality and look at other opportunities. If you believe 100% that you can become a tennis pro, regardless of injuries, then go for it man. More power to you. But if you put, other opportunities on the scale vs. tennis and find the other opportunities are more worthwhile then follow those.

If you find tennis isn't right for you then look at what else you love in life: Writing, Talking to others, managing numbers, whatever and try to pursue those.

Also if Tennis Pro fails, you can always look at other careers in tennis :). Aka Writing for a Tennis newspaper with analysis etc. (If you are persistent enough you could get a job in such a field). Tennis coach/teacher at a club. Any ATP 5000 player could get this job pretty easy. Linesman. Working at a tennis shop. The possibilities are endless! Plus you don't have to lose your passion for tennis!

Kowchi's .02 ;)
 
#59 ·
Ah, mate, I appreciate your opinion. Your thoughts are well thought out and lucid, helpful, and said in a friendly, agreeable tone.

And the thing is, I can't settle for that. If I am going to be in tennis, I need to be the greatest. I cannot be happy being a linesperson, I cannot be happy being the guy giving lessons to 40 year old housewives. I've worked at more than one tennis shop, I can't just sit there and watch people play all day while I'm there lusting for the game in the pro shop. I cannot be happy not being the best. When I am among tennis folk, when I am discussing, I feel as though they don't respect my opinion because they've coached this guy and that guy and this other guy used to train with so and so and I haven't. When this happens, and it does often, the feeling I get when confronted with this, a fire explodes in my eyes and passion runs through my blood to prove them wrong.

Nothing else in life gives me this same rush, and trust me, I've looked around.

Millions of guys have called it quits cause of injury, but I won't, and I can't. I've tried it even, come up with every excuse, but I couldn't live with myself, couldn't look at myself in the mirror knowing that I could still play and not giving it a shot.
 
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