Dr Love,
Bolar needs your help. Where are you?
Bolar needs your help. Where are you?
Good post, glad I waited til you posted it because mine could easily have been as long. Pretty much agree with the above plus what I said above :rocker2:[:lol: ILTB86... I read through this thread the other day...it was bugging me so I had to reply I've been in relationships that involved oppression, manipulation, and made me feel bad about myself, and it's not good. N.B. I am not trying to attack anyone here (particularly the girls/guy I don't know in the story), just need Bolar to wake up to himself and not be taken for a ride by this woman, because he does seem like a nice guy.]
Are you even reading what you are writing? Is this real life or Days Of Our Lives BS? Jesus Christ. There is so much manipulation, immaturity, and abuse going back and forth between those involved. It sounds like an incredibly unhealthy relationship.
You wanted to hook up with her friend/s to make her jealous. What would that prove? That you are willing to potentially contract STDs from her slutty friend who jumps on anything with a penis, to get her attention and make her see what she's missing? Stupid idea. At least her friend tried to get it into your head that this girl is more trouble than she's worth “doesn’t love you…loves him” Sleeping with her friends would only make you look like a whore, and she [or at least I, in this position] would be embarrassed to have wasted so much time with you. Your idea of getting pics with other girls would only confirm her suspicions of you cheating on her, and you would lose anyway. People talk. Kudos to you for turning the girl down, btw.
Messages about fake head injuries? Yeah...get back together based on lies. She broke up with you a month ago because of what others said. Good trust in the relationship!
She broke up with you because you were annoyed she brought her friend with her all the time? What is she, 17? “her friend had her phone that afternoon” Did she really. Oh shit. It’s Bolar…here, you take it.
“she went to pick her ex up and he was actually going to spend the night there in her bed instead of her cleaning.” If that is true, why would you want to get back with her…or is it because you are just a dick with legs? Either you are better off without her, or as you said the nympho behaviour benefited you. There are nice girls out there who will be all over you. Look for them.
It is obvious this girl has psychological problems, and is easily swayed by those around her.
-She denies what you did together.
-One day you feel you mean jack all to her, the next she loves you.
-She sends a text saying she gave the guy head/sex and was happy to have him back.-He broke up with his gf earlier in the week? She sounds like the cheap slut her friend is. “They got back together about 12 hours after she broke up with me.“ What a coincidence that she broke things off with you so suddenly!?
“Do I say that there was another girl that I was sleeping with the last few weeks and play her game back at her for a little while making her feel bad about herself.” That is crap. I think you need to do a bit of growing up and try not to stoop to ‘her level’, by actually TRYING to make her feel bad about herself. Doing things to someone you care/cared for will only make you feel bad about YOURSELF in the end.
“The right thing is to ring her. Tell her I'm happy they are together and that even though she hurt me, I may be here for her as a friend if she needs me. Will that get me the necessary closure to put the bitch in the past?” Not at first, but yes. Put on a brave face, and eventually you will get over it. I don’t know that I’d offer friendship, personally, as that may offer her an opportunity to abuse your friendship yet again. I've been cheated on, in one of my very first relationships. At first I thought I wanted to get back at him, but I ended up just telling him to f*ck off, and now, many years later, we are good mates.
“A part of me wants to get back at her someway. She shoudln't have done the dirty on me. But will that help me get over her? Should I just do the decent thing and wish her well?” No, she shouldn’t have done this, if what you have heard is all true. Getting back at her is a waste of your time and energy. She isn’t worth it. It might be tough to get on with life without her, but it will help you in the end. Imagine spending your whole life dealing with this crap! If you still want her to feel bad, then not being in contact with her for a while could give her time to reflect. People sometimes come to realise how pathetic they are, all by themselves. If you genuinely cared for her as you say you did/do, she will come to realise that, and knowing she can’t have you back will be enough punishment. She called you, regretting what she had said and done...but she still said those things, and treated you like crap. How much longer would you have put up with it?
On the other hand, you both sound similar in a few ways, so perhaps you could just use each other for sex At least it would be completely superficial, since it sounds like neither of you really know what you want from each other.