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What is love?

2K views 44 replies 24 participants last post by  Mr. President 
#1 ·
Experienced posters I'd like to hear your opinions.
 
#9 ·
 
#13 ·
Love, as what we would normally describe is what teenagers have.

For me there is 3 kinds of love and it goes with age.

1. Sexual love
2. Pairing love
3. Partnership love

There is probably a 4th type, but i'll tell you in 25 years :D
 
#17 ·
So at first boy and girl feel physical attraction, experience sexual love, then as a couple experience a deeper love in pairing love but when physical attraction and mutual love fades away they enter the 'parnership love' which is more an affaction like the one towards a relative more than actual love as we mean it?
 
#23 ·
Is it possible to love more than one person? (excluding sons, parents, etc of course)
 
#29 ·
It can be a very hard thing to describe for some people. But Uncle Latso has it right love is an ever evolving thing as you get older especially once married. It'll be 9 years for myself and my wife this August. Our realtionship has had some rocky moments but we have worked hard to keep it going. We still love each other even if it may be in a different way than when we first started dating.

We were one of three couples in separate groups of friends to get married in August 2006. We are the only one still together. Friends of ours who were married the week before us split a couple of years ago. When they broke up our own relationship changed and has actually been the best years for us I would say. We talked a lot about our relationship at that point and where we wanted it to go.

Love is different for everyone, but the one common theme is generally that you know when you are in love.
 
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#30 ·
Sometimes you find out you were truly in love with someone too late though, like after you split.
Anyways I find it that marriage does usually more harm than good to a relationship, do you agree? It hasn't been your case but as you said you two were 1 out of 3.
 
#36 · (Edited)
Sometimes you find out you were truly in love with someone too late though, like after you split.
That's typical. I have 100% ratio of ex boyfriends trying to get me back. Bye, trash.

Anyways I find it that marriage does usually more harm than good to a relationship, do you agree? It hasn't been your case but as you said you two were 1 out of 3.
It's because people are consumptionists and hedonists, when something is broken, they don't fix it but throw away and move forward.

If people care about their relation, then marriage or no marriage, they will stay together. If they don't water it, then it will die like a plant.

I think marriage is good, it's the most beautiful form of love and dedication, but can't be done too early. Sometimes couples haven't tried to do any compromise before, and they "learn about the real nature" of the other person after marriage when they move in together and have kids. It's good to think, imagine, discuss these issues before. Try to live together like a married couple for 2 years first, if you last that much, you managed to fix problems together, you have common ground and the disadvantages of the other person are not killing you yet, it's probably a good partner for life :)

Or sometimes people have no romantic experience and get married to the first person who comes across. From the disco, school etc. That's usually not too good either.

Also I don't believe every marriage turns into loving someone "like a relative". Well, yes, but it's some "extra value". It still stays sexual if you put effort into it. Of course 60 yo woman won't look like a 20 yo woman, but can be still beautiful, classy and keep charming her husband with her intelligence. Same for men. Flirt is good at every age!
 
#33 · (Edited)
Love in its rawest form is the essence of considering someone else's needs above your own. That can come with feelings of deep attraction, longing for closeness or concern for the other person. However feelings alone do not make love.

There is a nice description of love in the Bible:
1 Corinthians 13:4-8
"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails."
This is a great view of love and highlights that love will hit roadbumps along the way but carries on its course. You can think that in all relationships, there are bound to be moments where things go wrong. If you have a child, they may have spilt juice on the carpet. Perhaps your father forgot to come to watch the school play he promised. Or maybe your brother teased you in front of his friends. This is where love comes in to play. Love doesn't settle for ideals - ideally, every child should get an A+ in their exam, every mother and father should be fully committed for their children, and every sibling should treat their brothers and sisters nicely. Love understands what the ideals are but is able to accept compromise because love is not about fulfilling our own needs but those of others. For example, wanting our children to do well in school is loving till the point we make them our personal slaves, in which case it is selfish.

The highest point of love one can experience is love found in married couples - who will likely have more of these moments of difficulty than any other relationship. The married couple ideally should accommodate each other's shortcomings and bear with each other while sharing productively. That's why in the marriage vows, they say to love, "for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part." Unfortunately, it's this part of the marriage vow people don't pay attention to enough when making them. When a married couple forgets this and they look for the 'perfect' husband or 'perfect' wife, they are really looking to suit their own agendas and not accommodate their spouse as supposed to within marriage. They will always find something wrong to look at and get upset. Love on the other hand is always finds something good in others even if it doesn't seem that way - it provides further reasons to keep loving and is self-sustaining.

The end point of love is whether one is accessible by asking whether one willing to give their life for the other person - that's the value love has beyond anything that can be bought when one says, "I'll do anything for you because I love you". While expected within close relationships, when that is for a stranger, that is love beyond compare.
 
#34 ·
Love is when you're playing around in your father's garage and find a wooden racquet behind some boxes.

It's when you manage to hit the ball over the net for the first time.

It's when you look at a poster on the back of your bedroom door, and dream of holding what he is.

It's being outside for hours, days, months, years because deep inside you know you have what it takes.

It's when you're up AD-40 after five hours and make that backhand to go up 16-14 against the guy on your bedroom door.

It's when you hold the trophy and get told by one of the most powerful people in the world that no-one's ever seen anyone like you, and it's when you believe them.

It's when you're on the poster.
 
#40 ·
This too. A lot of girls these days have such fucking ice hearts and they wonder why good guys all turn into assholes after a few rejections and the ice girls wonder why they are still single at 30+ or divorced one or more times. What a mess

The whole thing is very difficult. Just going out and getting laid, ok, that is one thing but how long do you do that Tinder-like mindset before it gets old and you want something more? How difficult is it to find a good woman.
 
#43 ·
sharing my chocolate with another person
 
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