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Old 05-05-2004, 07:20 PM   #46
country flag Catsou
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Default Re: send your jokes please

Ok it's not really a joke but I just received it from my friend and though it was pretty funny! Girls will like it I'm quite sure LOL..sorry for the big letters but I'm too lazy to write it again...I just paste it
Mind you I didn't write it so please guy don't get angry and jump on me

WHO UNDERSTANDS MEN?

-THE NICE MEN ARE UGLY.
-THE HANDSOME MEN ARE NOT NICE.
-THE HANDSOME AND NICE MEN ARE GAY.
-THE HANDSOME, NICE AND HETEROSEXUAL MEN ARE MARRIED.
-THE MEN WHO ARE NOT SO HANDSOME, BUT ARE NICE MEN, HAVE NO MONEY.
-THE MEN WHO ARE NOT SO HANDSOME, BUT NICE MEN WITH MONEY, THINK WE ARE AFTER THEIR MONEY.
-THE HANDSOME MEN WITHOUT MONEY ARE AFTER OUR MONEY.
-THE HANDSOME MEN, WHO ARE NOT SO NICE AND SOMEWHAT HETEROSEXUAL, DON'T THINK WE ARE BEAUTIFUL ENOUGH.
-THE MEN WHO THINK WE ARE BEAUTIFUL, THAT ARE HETEROSEXUAL, SOMEWHAT NICE, HAVE MONEY, ARE COWARDS.
-THE MEN WHO ARE SOMEWHAT HANDSOME, SOMEWHAT NICE AND HAVE SOME MONEY AND THANK GOD ARE HETEROSEXUAL, ARE SHY AND NEVER MAKE THE FIRST MOVE.
-THE MEN WHO NEVER MAKE THE FIRST MOVE, AUTOMATICALLY LOSE INTEREST IN US WHEN WE TAKE THE INITIATIVE.

NOW WHO IN THE WORLD UNDERSTANDS MEN?

MEN ARE LIKE FINE WINE ..... THEY ALL START OUT LIKE GRAPES, AND IT IS OUR JOB TO STOMP ON THEM AND KEEP THEM IN THE DARK UNTIL THEY MATURE INTO SOMETHING YOU LIKE TO HAVE DINNER WITH.
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Old 05-08-2004, 04:30 PM   #47
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Default Re: send your jokes please

What do Andy Roddick and a new vegetarian have in common?

give up?!

Hamburg withdrawal.
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Old 05-09-2004, 05:23 AM   #48
country flag Lee
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Default Re: send your jokes please

Quote:
Originally Posted by Catsou
Ok it's not really a joke but I just received it from my friend and though it was pretty funny! Girls will like it I'm quite sure LOL..sorry for the big letters but I'm too lazy to write it again...I just paste it
Mind you I didn't write it so please guy don't get angry and jump on me

WHO UNDERSTANDS MEN?

-THE NICE MEN ARE UGLY.
-THE HANDSOME MEN ARE NOT NICE.
-THE HANDSOME AND NICE MEN ARE GAY.
-THE HANDSOME, NICE AND HETEROSEXUAL MEN ARE MARRIED.
-THE MEN WHO ARE NOT SO HANDSOME, BUT ARE NICE MEN, HAVE NO MONEY.
-THE MEN WHO ARE NOT SO HANDSOME, BUT NICE MEN WITH MONEY, THINK WE ARE AFTER THEIR MONEY.
-THE HANDSOME MEN WITHOUT MONEY ARE AFTER OUR MONEY.
-THE HANDSOME MEN, WHO ARE NOT SO NICE AND SOMEWHAT HETEROSEXUAL, DON'T THINK WE ARE BEAUTIFUL ENOUGH.
-THE MEN WHO THINK WE ARE BEAUTIFUL, THAT ARE HETEROSEXUAL, SOMEWHAT NICE, HAVE MONEY, ARE COWARDS.
-THE MEN WHO ARE SOMEWHAT HANDSOME, SOMEWHAT NICE AND HAVE SOME MONEY AND THANK GOD ARE HETEROSEXUAL, ARE SHY AND NEVER MAKE THE FIRST MOVE.
-THE MEN WHO NEVER MAKE THE FIRST MOVE, AUTOMATICALLY LOSE INTEREST IN US WHEN WE TAKE THE INITIATIVE.

NOW WHO IN THE WORLD UNDERSTANDS MEN?

MEN ARE LIKE FINE WINE ..... THEY ALL START OUT LIKE GRAPES, AND IT IS OUR JOB TO STOMP ON THEM AND KEEP THEM IN THE DARK UNTIL THEY MATURE INTO SOMETHING YOU LIKE TO HAVE DINNER WITH.


and so true
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Old 05-09-2004, 05:48 AM   #49
country flag Lee
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Default Re: send your jokes please

A Pope and a lawyer died and were waiting at the gate for St. Peter to check their marks on earth.

St. Peter told the Pope: "Ah, you passed with flying colours! Here's the key for your 2 rooms apartment in Heaven."

The lawyer started worrying what kind of accomodation he'd have even if he made it.

After a long time, St. Peter returned: "Hmmm, you just made it. Here's the key to the 100 rooms mansion." The lawyer was speechless He collected himself and asked St. Peter: "Why the Pope only had a 2 rooms apartment while I could have a 100 rooms mansion?" St. Peter said: "Do you know how many Popes we had in Heaven? And you're the only lawyer!

******************************************

And this is from a lawyer friend of mine
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Old 05-09-2004, 08:06 AM   #50
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Talking Re: send your jokes please

James Blake will return home to Connecticut Saturday after being hospitalized in Rome following a freak accident during practice. Blake tumbled head first into a net post while chasing a drop shot Thursday.
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Old 05-09-2004, 09:26 AM   #51
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Default Re: send your jokes please

one moment that was funny, but as soon as you read just how much he hurt his back, it isn't anymore imo
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Old 05-09-2004, 11:53 AM   #52
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Default Re: send your jokes please

Quote:
Originally Posted by argiesf
James Blake will return home to Connecticut Saturday after being hospitalized in Rome following a freak accident during practice. Blake tumbled head first into a net post while chasing a drop shot Thursday.
The humour has been lost on Conan.
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Old 05-14-2004, 02:25 PM   #53
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Default Re: send your jokes please

Wailing Wall

A journalist assigned to the Jerusalem bureau takes an apartment overlooking the Wailing Wall. Every day when she looks out, she sees an old Jewish man praying vigorously. So, the journalist goes down and introduces herself to the old man.

She asks, "You come every day to the wall. How long have you done that, and what are you praying for?"

The old man replies, "I have come here to pray every day for 25 years. In the morning I pray for world peace and then for the brotherhood of man. I go home, have a cup of tea, and I come back and pray for the eradication of illness and disease from the earth."

The journalist is amazed. "How does it make you feel to come here every day for 25 years and pray for these things?" she asks.

The old man looks at her sadly. "Like I'm talking to a wall."
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Old 05-18-2004, 12:54 PM   #54
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Default Re: send your jokes please

PRESIDENTIAL LIBRARY DESTROYED BY FIRE

A tragic fire last night destroyed the personal library of President George W. Bush.

Both of his books have been lost. A presidential spokesman said the President was devastated, as he had not finished colouring in the second one.
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Old 05-18-2004, 06:35 PM   #55
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Default Re: send your jokes please

woman and driving ..
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File Type: jpg woman parking.jpg (49.0 KB, 16 views)
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Old 06-17-2004, 12:42 AM   #56
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Default Re: send your jokes please

A new, young MD doing his residency in OB was quite embarrassed performing female pelvic exams. To cover his embarrassment he had unconsciously formed a habit of whistling softly as he went about doing the examinations.

One morning, the young lady upon whom he was performing this exam suddenly burst out laughing and further embarrassed him.

He looked up from his work and sheepishly said, "I'm sorry. Was I tickling you?"

She replied, "No Doc, but the song you were whistling was, 'I wish I were an Oscar Meyer Weiner'."
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Old 06-17-2004, 12:45 AM   #57
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Default Re: send your jokes please

I see you washign your car again dave, what would you do if a bird crapped on your windscreen???

Well I'd dump her obviouslly and end the relationship !!!!
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