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Old 12-21-2012, 06:21 PM   #1
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Default MTF Bios: Because the retired legends deserve some respect. Today: Pat Cash

Hello, my beautiful 2012 survivors, i'm professor Johnny Viruz and this is:



Today:
Pat Cash



Imagine a rock bar in the 80s.
Dark place, drinking a cold beer, girls showing their boobs to the musicians, the barman (bald, tall, like a cave-troll) is punching in the face a guy who tried to touch one of the girls. The smoke is everywhere from different sources, and then the band is coming up.
You feel the adrenaline of seeing young musicians playing new songs, they have dreams, dreams of beeing stars, dreams of beeing great, dreams of becoming that guy we all want to be, the rockstar in the huge mansion with 10 groopies.

There's where our story begins...



When we talk about tennis rockstars, we should name big names here:

- Guillermo Vilas. The latin casanova (ask princess caroline of Monaco then), he toured the world with his unique style. Badass guy, long hair and a "I don't care" attitude.

- Bjorn Borg. Indestructible in RG and Wimbledon. A blonde guy who destroyed everything is his path... But his path wasn't that big, he played wherever he wanted and there was no discussion about it.

- Ernests Gulbis. A guy with a dead hedgehog in his hair. We all know the guy play after a huge night who includes alcohol, groopies and drinking gasoline for fun.

And probably the only real rockstar here.

Pat Cash




Cash was an australian rockstar who became a tennis player. Just like that.
He only played one tournament in his life. Wimbledon in 1987, and he won it.

Yes, exactly as you heard it. The guy never played tennis in his life, he decided to play Wimbledon once "For fun", and won the whole thing defeating Wilander and Connors, and best of all, denying Lendl his first Wimbledon trophy by beating him in the final (we all know Pat Cash is the real reason why Lendl never won wimbledon. Nobody would expect a guy who never played before beeing that amazing).


The real hero in this mess.

We know the guy for his jamming sessions with popular musicians as Roger Daltrey (The Who), Steve Harris, Nicko McBrain (both from Iron Maiden) and John Mcenroe (his guitar was unpluged, the real guitarist was Pat Cash).

Here, check it out:



Pat Cash sold more than 20.000.000 albums between 1985 and 1995, but still, he was rarely seen on public, and since then... He was NEVER seen again.


Why?
Something wasn't right.
Pat Cash won Wimbledon in 1987. That was a sign. That year was something.
But what? What could that mean?
I decided to start an investigation.


I went to Australia in search for clues and for more information.




As an special journalist for "MTF Bios", they allowed me to visit the Pat Cash tennis academy and Melbourne park, everyone seemed to know Pat Cash, but the man where nowhere to be found.
I can't deny I was worried about all that, where was Pat Cash?
How could a big legend like him be disappeared for this long time?

I decided to get my facts right and make an interview for an old friend of mine. I was pretty sure the guy still remembered me after these long years.

I managed to find him, his house was covered in gold and a big sign on the wall said "Only mates allowed".

We had a big brohug, drank a few beers and then I got a good report for my investigation:


Quote:
Originally Posted by Hewitt =Legend
"Yeah mate old Cashy was one hell of a player, and more importantly, a bogan. Obviously the old bloke was a little ahead of my time but my god, I've had many a youtube sessions with me livestock watching that old school serve and volley style. F*ck me, he was simply majestic when he was on form... that black and white headband + short shorts combo left me awestruck and deeply aroused at the same time.. luckily I always come prepared with a couple of spare undergarments... I've never been a marathon man but geez I had no control when the champion went in for that low forehand volley.. but we're getting off track here. Yeah, nah Ca$hy was a bloody rock star who enjoyed a flutter and few games of tennis in his spare time. That Wimbledon victory in 87 is up there with one of Australia's greatest ever sporting achievements... I have it on good authority that a large abundance of llamas were fondled during the aftermath of Cashies victory there...Nah, but point is, the bloke is a deadset champion and will always be remembered as one of the greatest tennis players ever to come out of Australia. Now please, everyone grab a beer and a farm animal of your choice.. and make a toast to the great one..... the best mate to me and 20 million others... Cashy... god bless.."

I was pretty happy with the results, but then, a weird looking guy suddenly appeared.


The guy was pretty weird.

- "Hey. You wanted to know something about Pat Cash? I'm the real Pat here. Just think about it. You can hide your own self with a cool hat and sunglasses".
- "Yeah, I know, I use sunglasses all the..."

The guy was walking away, without listening to my answer... But his words were stuck on my head.

And then I realised... 1987. That year, Guns n Roses released their first album.


Could it be...?

+ +




Was it possible?


I need to keep investigating. I need to solve this mistery.



*Professor Johnny Viruz is currently on Australia, to keep his investigation on track. Interviewing more people and trying to solve the Pat Cash case.
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Last edited by viruzzz : 12-22-2012 at 08:24 AM.
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Old 12-21-2012, 07:29 PM   #2
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Default Re: MTF Bios: Because the retired legends deserve some respect. Today: Pat Cash

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A dishwasher has more personality than Sampras.

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As for Mugray, what can be said? A disgusting human being, and awful player, and a choking pushing mug. He looks like a kemo patient, bald spots, hairless legs, pasty blotchy skin, busted teeth, and an ugly, snarling face. Typical antics all came out in this match: faking injuries, grimacing and cursing, trying to peg Fed, trying to start drama, undeserved final based on an exhausted old man and a joke draw.

I'm no Fakervic fan but he needs to save tennis, sadly tree trunk legs will be fresh. Interesting he's never questioned...
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Old 12-22-2012, 01:24 AM   #3
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Default Re: MTF Bios: Because the retired legends deserve some respect. Today: Pat Cash

Amazing... mate!
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Old 12-22-2012, 02:46 AM   #4
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Default Re: MTF Bios: Because the retired legends deserve some respect. Today: Pat Cash

Quote:
Originally Posted by viruzzz View Post
Hello, my beautiful 2012 survivors, i'm professor Johnny Viruz and this is:



Today:
Pat Cash



Imagine a rock bar in the 80s.
Dark place, drinking a cold beer, girls showing their boobs to the musicians, the barman (bald, tall, like a cave-troll) is punching in the face a guy who tried to touch one of the girls. The smoke is everywhere from different sources, and then the band is coming up.
You feel the adrenaline of seeing young musicians playing new songs, they have dreams, dreams of beeing stars, dreams of beeing great, dreams of becoming that guy we all want to be, the rockstar in the huge mansion with 10 groopies.

Then's where our story begins...



When we talk about tennis rockstars, we should name big names here:

- Guillermo Vilas. The latin casanova (ask princess caroline of Monaco then), he toured the world with his unique style. Badass guy, long hair and a "I don't care" attitude.

- Bjorn Borg. Indestructible in RG and Wimbledon. A blonde guy who destroyed everything is his path... But his path wasn't that big, he played wherever he wanted and there was no discussion about it.

- Ernests Gulbis. A guy with a dead hedgehog in his hair. We all know the guy play after a huge night who includes alcohol, groopies and drinking gasoline for fun.

And probably the only real rockstar here.

Pat Cash




Cash was an australian rockstar who became a tennis player. Just like that.
He only played one tournament in his life. Wimbledon in 1987, and he won it.

Yes, exactly as you heard it. The guy never played tennis in his life, he decided to play Wimbledon once "For fun", and won the whole thing defeating Wilander and Connors, and best of all, denying Lendl his first Wimbledon trophy by beating him in the final (we all know Pat Cash is the real reason why Lendl never won wimbledon. Nobody would expect a guy who never played before beeing that amazing).


The real hero in this mess.

We know the guy for his jamming sessions with popular musicians as Roger Daltrey (The Who), Steve Harris, Nicko McBrain (both from Iron Maiden) and John Mcenroe (his guitar was unpluged, the real guitarist was Pat Cash).

Here, check it out:



Pat Cash sold more than 20.000.000 albums between 1985 and 1995, but still, he was rarely seen on public, and since then... He was NEVER seen again.


Why?
Something wasn't right.
Pat Cash won Wimbledon in 1987. That was a sign. That year was something.
But what? What could that mean?
I decided to start an investigation.


I went to Australia in search for clues and for more information.




As an special journalist for "MTF Bios", they allowed me to visit the Pat Cash tennis academy and Melbourne park, everyone seemed to know Pat Cash, but the man where nowhere to be found.
I can't deny I was worried about all that, where was Pat Cash?
How could a big legend like him be disappeared for this long time?

I decided to get my facts right and make an interview for an old friend of mine. I was pretty sure the guy still remembered me after these long years.

I managed to find him, his house was covered in gold and a big sign on the wall said "Only mates allowed".

We had a big brohug, drank a few beers and then I got a good report for my investigation:





I was pretty happy with the results, but then, a weird looking guy suddenly appeared.


The guy was pretty weird.

- "Hey. You wanted to know something about Pat Cash? I'm the real Pat here. Just think about it. You can hide your own self with a cool hat and sunglasses".
- "Yeah, I know, I use sunglasses all the..."

The guy was walking away, without listening to my answer... But his words were stuck on my head.

And then I realised... 1987. That year, Guns n Roses released their first album.


Could it be...?

+ +




Was it possible?


I need to keep investigating. I need to solve this mistery.



*Professor Johnny Viruz is currently on Australia, to keep his investigation on track. Interviewing more people and trying to solve the Pat Cash case.
my eyes have been opened about the truths of Pat Cash. thank you Viruzzz
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Old 12-22-2012, 03:00 AM   #5
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Default Re: MTF Bios: Because the retired legends deserve some respect. Today: Pat Cash

Off-season legend
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Old 12-22-2012, 04:17 AM   #6
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Default Re: MTF Bios: Because the retired legends deserve some respect. Today: Pat Cash

Legend. The true rock-star of tennis.
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Old 12-22-2012, 04:42 AM   #7
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Default Re: MTF Bios: Because the retired legends deserve some respect. Today: Pat Cash

Wow awesome photos!
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