[Time Violation]

Originally Posted by Punky

they are on a break, i think at the weekend they will meet and she will end it.

i must say i dont think i could sleep next to my boyfriend for so long and u know...

Yea, that's for the best I think. If they are together for over a year, and he doesn't feel any physical attraction to her, then that's not something to "fix" just by talking it over. And why bother anyway, he seems fine the way he is.

[Johnny Groove]

It is possible he is asexual, but a better chance is that he is gay

I believe in whatever makes people happy. Gay, straight, asexual, does not matter.

[Punky]

Originally Posted by Johnny Groove

It is possible he is asexual, but a better chance is that he is gay

I believe in whatever makes people happy. Gay, straight, asexual, does not matter.

[orangehat]

Originally Posted by Jverweij

no mate. again stop putting words in my mouth. As I said, the problem is not in having or not having sex, but in having a relationship.
But as Taejin said, that can be resolved by dating another asexual person.

as for the bolded part, this won't work with a person who has sexual needs, unless they come to some kind of agreement about stepping out.

You didn't understand my point, and I wasn't attacking you.

Your point was that you feel sorry for them because they (in your mind) can't be in a relationship with a lot of people because they don't match (they don't feel a natural inclination to have sex whereas others do)

My point is, well going by your logic, would you feel sorry for gay people, since they, by that logic, could not be in a relationship with a lot of people (straight people), because they don't match (they don't feel a natural inclination to have sex with the opposite gender whereas others do)

I then go on to say that like gay people, who form relationships with other gay people since they have the same likings, so do asexual people (i.e. form relationships with other asexual people)

And I have to clear up a very commonly misunderstood point. Being asexual doesn't mean you HATE having sex, or that you don't have sex ever. It just means you're not actively looking for sex. So it is possible for 1 person in a relationship to be asexual, and have sex sparingly whenever the partner wants to have sex to fulfill the relationship.

[Punky]

Originally Posted by Taejin

Yea, that's for the best I think. If they are together for over a year, and he doesn't feel any physical attraction to her, then that's not something to "fix" just by talking it over. And why bother anyway, he seems fine the way he is.

i dont think he is 100% fine with it b/c if he was, he would have talk to her about it more, tell her more, she loves him, very much but even love has its limits.

if this is how he is, theres nothing to fix.

like many ppl in here said, i hope he will find a giel like him, it will be best for everyone.

[Jverweij]

Originally Posted by orangehat

You didn't understand my point, and I wasn't attacking you.

Your point was that you feel sorry for them because they (in your mind) can't be in a relationship with a lot of people because they don't match (they don't feel a natural inclination to have sex whereas others do)

My point is, well going by your logic, would you feel sorry for gay people, since they, by that logic, could not be in a relationship with a lot of people (straight people), because they don't match (they don't feel a natural inclination to have sex with the opposite gender whereas others do)

I then go on to say that like gay people, who form relationships with other gay people since they have the same likings, so do asexual people (i.e. form relationships with other asexual people)

And I have to clear up a very commonly misunderstood point. Being asexual doesn't mean you HATE having sex, or that you don't have sex ever. It just means you're not actively looking for sex. So it is possible for 1 person in a relationship to be asexual, and have sex sparingly whenever the partner wants to have sex to fulfill the relationship.

that definition looks more like my definition of being married :P

Seriously though, I get your point, and as I clarified before, I would only feel sorry (maybe sympathize with is a better form?) for an asexual person when it will result in him/her not being able to maintain relationships. Again, if someone is happy, that is great. I just thought from the story that was told that the guy's asexuality now caused him to lose his relationship, which I would say is sad.

[Time Violation]

Originally Posted by Punky

i dont think he is 100% fine with it b/c if he was, he would have talk to her about it more, tell her more, she loves him, very much but even love has its limits.

Well, love or no love, you can't command your body.

[Orange Wombat]

Well, I am not sure if he is really asexual, or he is just not have sexual feelings for your friend.

Scientifically speaking, he is a sexual creature because he is an animal and animals reproduce sexually But if he does not have sexual feelings, that is different. Humans were built to have sexual feelings, so maybe something was wired a little differently in his brain. I don't think you can choose to be asexual. Obviously some people have a stronger sex drive than others, but normally everyone has some sexual feelings. I'm not saying this is necessarily a bad thing. If he is happy with not having sexual feelings, that's fine

[hat__boy]

Is this the old "I've got a friend who...." trick?

[Punky]

Originally Posted by Taejin

Well, love or no love, you can't command your body.

true..
We do not have a choice.

[Punky]

Originally Posted by hat__boy

Is this the old "I've got a friend who...." trick?

not this time little benny.

[Time Violation]

Originally Posted by Orange Wombat

or he is just not have sexual feelings for your friend.

Sounds highly unlikely

[hat__boy]

Originally Posted by Punky

not think time little benny.

It's okay Amber, we are all friends here, you can tell us the truth. No one was buying this thinly veiled "friend" pretense. It must be hard for you

[Garson007]

I've broken so many hearts in my life because I'm incapable of falling in love or being intimate. It's just not my thing.

[Punky]

Originally Posted by hat__boy

It's okay Amber, we are all friends here, you can tell us the truth. No one was buying this thinly veiled "friend" pretense. It must be hard for you

its very hard, but you know what makes me feel better.
be a friend and help me