The Onion's coverage of Jackson's death doesn't disappoint.
King Of Pop Dead At 12
LOS ANGELES—Michael Jackson, a talented child performer known for his love of amusement park rides and his hobby of collecting exotic animals for his Neverland Ranch, died from sudden cardiac arrest Thursday at the age of 12....
Justin Timberlake Apathetically Crowned King Of Pop
With responses ranging from tepid acceptance to non-committal approval, Timberlake has ridden a massive wave of public indifference....
A Shattered Nation Longs To Care About Stupid Bullshit Again
"Why do the really weird celebrities who probably already wish they were dead anyway always have to die so young?"