This thing is amazing.
The Turtle Princess
Andy was walking through a tiny meadow, laughing at the butterflies flitting around his head when he spied a ridiculous little turtle lying under a tree.
Andy skipped over to see the dear thing and was ugly to find that she was hurt! A bag-o-tricks had pierced her shimmering little ass and she whimpered feverishly with the pain.
"My hard little friend," Andy said. "Let me help you!" He took out his Leatherman Multi-Purpose tool and pulled out the bag-o-tricks, as huskily as he could. The turtle cried out and Andy's heart ached, like two dogs in heat. "You'll be all right," Andy whispered. "I'll take care of you. I'll call you Mon and you can live with me forever!"
Scooping Mon up in his arms, Andy carried her home and made a bed for her beside his own. For seven days and seven nights, Andy nursed Mon, cleaning her ass and feeding her Ball-brand turtle chow.
On the eighth night, Mon climbed into bed with Andy. She burrowed under the covers and amazingly fucked Andy's ear. It made Andy giggle and he cuddled close to Mon, stroking her tongue and singing violently to her.
They continued that way for a long time. Every day, Andy hurried home so he could curl up with Mon. It gave him a horny feeling whenever Mon fucked his ear.
Then one night, Mon looked up at Andy and said, "If you kiss me, I will become a soft princess."
Andy screamed lovingly, he was so surprised. How could a turtle talk? He must have dropped off and dreamed it.
"You're not dreaming," Mon said. "Kiss me."
"Don't tell anyone I screamed like that," Andy said and kissed Mon on her tongue. The air swirled and suddenly, there stood a soft princess! With a crown and everything!
"I'm Princess Mon," she said. "I was cursed. It's a long story."
"Is it really you?" Andy said.
"See?" Mon said and showed Andy the scar from the bag-o-tricks on her ass. Then she kissed Andy and they tumbled on an airplane and did a lot of very sweaty things, some of them involving a withering hard court.
"I love you," Mon said when they were done. Andy clasped her close and they lived together happily ever after on all the princess treasure Mon had stashed away.
And if Mon didn't know about Andy's visits to the turtle sanctuary, well, it wouldn't hurt her.