Originally Posted by 2003
Obviously at a "lower level" (if such a thing exists), if a women goes up to a man and randomly gropes him then that is certainly easily construed sexual assault.
But in terms of sexual intercourse, that's a bit more complicated. In order for a male to have effective sex (I think) he has to be in a certain state. It's not really like a female where the organ doesn't change it's state in appearance and function dramatically in order for that to happen.
Also, most crucially, there is the power imbalance between an average man and women that is reversed. Most men could fend off such an unwanted attack quite easily. You also can't really pin a guy down the same way from the female on top position unless it's a pack situation.
I guess the most obvious example would be sex during a state of sleep. Infact, like a lot of guys im sure that have been in a relationship, this did almost happen to me, well kind of. Me and my girlfriend had sex one night and then went to sleep in each others arms. Early in the morning I remember waking up and she was on top of me just getting ready to "plug me in" so to speak. Of course, because shes my girlfriend, my lover and, pickings had been non existent up until she came along, I was only too happy to oblige, and we indeed had a wonderful midnight treat. I went back to sleep and thought nothing of it.
Some time after we broke up though, I remember reflecting on this moment. If the roles were reversed, a lot of women would wake up in my position and scream blue murder. How dare I try and do that while she was asleep etc. And I do agree. I think its wrong, and infact if the two have a healthy sex life, generally I think that sort of thing would not happen.
BUT, I will say that when you live with someone, share a bed night after night for years on end, I imagine occasionally waking your partner up for some "morning sex" is an inevitable eventuality. Personally, I really don't care one iota if once in a blue moon my girlfriend wakes me up for sex, in fact because I lover her and I have given myself to her I fully expect that. I guess you do cross a line though when you initiate physical contact beyond a kiss or whatever, though in all honesty if drugs or alcohol are not involved I find it unbelievable someone could really sleep through someone trying to penetrate them and not wake up, but I accept some are much heavy sleepers than I.
I guess the purpose of this thread is more "Is sexual consent an issue for males"? It's usually almost exclusively talked about in terms of females.
Some might find this thread humerous the way I have structured it, but it really is a serious discussion point.
Are some women in long term relationships a tad (maybe just a tiny bit!) too precious about the issue of consent? Why is it a guy claiming a women tried to **** him in his sleep would probably be laughed out of a police station and or his friends homes, but the same exact situation in reverse would be considered so immoral at best on part of the guy? Or are women bang on the money with their attitude and preservation of sexual consent, and does society and males in general need to stop treating this issue with contempt and realise their entitlement to respect over sexual consent issues?
Thoughts and views?
I haven't had a long and serious relationship or even many short ones in my brief time on this planet but I know many here have and would be more adequately experienced to deal with this issue.
Of course, the issue changes again with one night stands too. We can discuss those too. Or if a guy takes a girl home and then others come in later unexpectedly or whatever. Remember, the power imbalance between men and women can diminish when women have more numbers present.
Finally, we can also discuss statutory ****. A lot of countries have very clear age laws, but these are for females a lot of the time. What about a much older woman having consented sex with a young teenager or pre teen? No doubt that guy would be seen as a cougar amongst most of his pals and peers, while in reverse the girl would be seen as a victim of a horrible predator.
The imbalance here in exact reversed situations can be quite startling when you look at it. This is a serious often under rated issue in society. Especially with women becoming more and more promiscuous with every passing generation, and moral codes and standards depreciating at an ever alarming rate.