Was reading through the latest issue
of Private Eye
, and this just made me LMAO.
ASSANGE FEARS BEING HELD IN SWEDISH DETENTION CENTRE
by Our Swedish Correspondent Not Bjorn Yesterday
Friends of Julian Assange say the WikiLeaks founder fears being detained in one of Sweden's notorious IKEA detention centres.
"These brutal and desensitising IKEA facilities make Guantanamo Bay look like the Ritz", said one WikiLeaks supporter. "Once inside the labyrinth-like building you are deprived of natural light and forced to drudge round seemingly in circles for up to eighteen hours a day, looking for a set of drawers, a kitchen unit and a side table, while having an argument with your partner".
Swedish authorities insisted that, by handing himself over to a self-assembly tribunal within an IKEA facility, Julian Assange could be freed more quickly, as the cases they build are extremely flimsy and fall apart within minutes.