I don't know what to say. You can be sure that you are not the only one who grew up without a real father but with someone completely selfish and unable to face the responsibilities that come with raising a child... and more importantly giving the child the life it really deserves. Irresponsible and self-absorbed people like him should never have children in the first place because they are way too caught up in their own misery to see what having a child really is. They see it a burden but in reality it is a blessing, an opportunity to give their daughter or son the love, the home, the comfort and the happiness they probably never had in their own childhood.
Your father doesn't deserve a daughter like you, he deserves being punished with the same kind of ignorance and negligence he treated you with in those times when you needed a father. And most importantly, don't see the reason for his behavior in yourself. You have nothing to do with him being unable to grow up, act like an adult and live up to his family's expectations. It is not that any of you expected much from him, still he was unable to give it to you. Maybe one day he will realize how wrong he was in doing what he did but it will be too late then.