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Old 02-21-2012, 12:20 AM   #92
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Default Re: Ladies, can it become a burden when a guy friend tells you he likes you?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bilbo View Post
I wonder what kind of guys we are talking here.
Obviously the question isn't what kind of guys they are but what kind of person I am. I don't like to sit around and wait for things to happen and I can't keep my mouth shut, and it's super obvious when I like someone because I'm a horrendously open book. My first two boyfriends weren't that serious so let's not bother with them. My ex and my current BF, though, are both type A personalities - they're confident about what they can bring to the relationship and they definitely weren't the needy halves of the relationship.

Quote:
Then you are not the right girl for the guy who approached you. As simple as that.
Okay, if you say so.

I've been approached on the streets before by complete weirdoes. Complete. Weirdoes. Perhaps it's a cultural thing; but where I'm from, no one normal approaches a random stranger on the streets without coming off as desperate and creepy.

Quote:
I wonder how you would react in a club if some random guy came up to you and expresses his interest in you, because that is a normal thing there. If that is ok for you, then you are even more conservative as I thought. If not, then you are not into dominant and honest guys and you prefer needy guys.
Obviously if I went to a club my intentions would be to hook up, so that's a different story. I find your stereotyping horrific to say the least, making generalisations about what kind of guys I'm into just because my dating pattern doesn't conform to your idea of what women like (this idea, frankly, creeps me out). I'm into dominant and honest guys; who isn't? But obviously for me, a guy I date can't be afraid of women who 1) make the first move; 2) have an opinion; and 3) will not keep her mouth shut just to make him happy.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tulipe View Post
In a club that's another thing, people go there to interact between themselves. But on a street it's a normal part of women's psychology to freak out. Since you're a little girl, they tell you not to talk to strangers on the street, and no matter what intentions you have, you are still a stranger and we cannot know what intentions you have. It's a learned code, nothing to do with being conservative or not, it's as simple as being taught to have 911 pre-dialed when walking home alone at night or to hold keys as a weapon, to sit alone and close to the driver on the night bus. Normally you would think it's nonsense and that you would never do that, but once being in that situation you suddenly find yourself holding the keys and pre-dialling 911.

If I lived in a safer country I would probably behave other way. But generally, if I told someone that a random guy spoke to me on the street and I went somewhere with him afterwards, people would think I was utterly stupid and incredibly lucky that I wasn't dead by now. Not trying to say that I couldn't meet a freak in the club, but also there any reasonable girl will try to find out if some of her friends know the guy before really going somewhere with him. Among my friends there are almost non who have a gf/bf who isn't somehow related to the others. They are always a friend of someone, a relative of someone, or they went to the same school as someone, you met them on the school dancing course etc. You rarely get to talk to someone you weren't introduced to by your friends here.
This, pretty much.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Harmless View Post
Classic Bilbo logic. I'm sorry if this sounds brash, don't mean to offend your dominant male sensibilities , but do you even listen to yourself?
You don't think that trying to get the attention of dozens/hundreds/etc of women, that you've never seen in your life and know nothing about, randomly on the street, thinking about what women want and what women think and what you should do and what you shouldn't do in regards to women all the time and trying to change your natural personality to accomodate your conclusions/some mental construct of what some generic woman is about is needy behaviour?
and this, too.
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