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-   -   MTF suggestions to reform the ATP and tennis in general (http://www.menstennisforums.com/showthread.php?t=212734)

Action Jackson 10-28-2006 12:55 AM

MTF suggestions to reform the ATP and tennis in general
 
Apart from dumping Round Robin to the cesspool where it came from and since our Fearless Leader of the ATP Mr Disney Etienne de Villiers cares really what the fans think.

It's time for some suggestions that Mr Disney should listen to, since he wants to make tennis more interesting for the masses.

- Instead of a TB, they should have a serving contest where they place a cone in the service box and the person who hits it the most will win. (GWH)

- It should be decided on a round of Greco-Roman wrestling. Labadze will then proceed to become the marketing dream of the ATP. (Merton)

- If Tursunov is playing, then he must be allowed to have a blog off against his opponent except if it is Federer or Nadal, cause they have to be in the final. (GWH)

- As for the clay they have to do as many 360s while sliding laterally and forwards within a minute and have a tennis ball balanced on their head. (GWH)

- Instead of hitting a cone, they should bring out a lion in a cage on the service line - most balls served into the lions mouth wins. Bring on the Spectacle, Disney boy... and serve that cotton candy... (TenHound)

- Another idea to replace the tie-break: they pick 2 random spectators in the crowd (one for each player). The 1st player who gets his serve returned by the spectator loses.

OR

No spectator involved but they can do something like the penalty kicks in football (since Mr. Disney loves the WC system). If the opponent can't return the serve it counts as a goal. (Saumon)

Action Jackson 10-28-2006 12:56 AM

Re: Fearless Leader Mr Disney Welcomes MTF suggestions to reform the ATP
 
Since Rafa believes in the circus act of RR.

I figure there are some other tricks he could do. He could grab a coconut or a walnut and put them between his butt cheeks and see if he could crack them by flexing.

SwissMister1 10-28-2006 12:59 AM

Re: Fearless Leader Mr Disney Welcomes MTF suggestions to reform the ATP
 
The three players in the RR group try to pick up the most phone numbers at a bar, highest total goes through.

GlennMirnyi 10-28-2006 01:00 AM

Re: Fearless Leader Mr Disney Welcomes MTF suggestions to reform the ATP
 
5-set matches will not disappear, but the player may ask any other player to replace him (except for Federer on all surfaces and Nadal on clay).

NYCtennisfan 10-28-2006 01:00 AM

Re: Fearless Leader Mr Disney Welcomes MTF suggestions to reform the ATP
 
Somebody's gonna mention it so why not me: dick size decides TB'ers.

Action Jackson 10-28-2006 01:02 AM

Re: Fearless Leader Mr Disney Welcomes MTF suggestions to reform the ATP
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by GlennMirnyi (Post 4359301)
5-set matches will not disappear, but the player may ask any other player to replace him (except for Federer on all surfaces and Nadal on clay).

That is known as the James Blake solution.

Action Jackson 10-28-2006 01:03 AM

Mr Disney De Villiers Welcomes MTF suggestions to reform the ATP
 
If the player argues with the umpire over a line call or Hawkeye then that player gets an electric shock for showing dissent against the ATP.

MisterQ 10-28-2006 01:03 AM

Re: Fearless Leader Mr Disney Welcomes MTF suggestions to reform the ATP
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by NYCtennisfan (Post 4359303)
Somebody's gonna mention it so why not me: dick size decides TB'ers.

:lol:

Towards that end, players refuse to play in cold conditions.

GlennMirnyi 10-28-2006 01:06 AM

Re: Fearless Leader Mr Disney Welcomes MTF suggestions to reform the ATP
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by GeorgeWHitler (Post 4359312)
If the player argues with the umpire over a line call or Hawkeye then that player gets an electric shock for showing dissent against the ATP.

Right from Orwell's 1984, the new motto of ATP:
TWO AND TWO MAKE FIVE.
DE VILLIERS IS WATCHING YOU.

NYCtennisfan 10-28-2006 01:24 AM

Re: Fearless Leader Mr Disney Welcomes MTF suggestions to reform the ATP
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by MisterQ (Post 4359316)
:lol:

Towards that end, players refuse to play in cold conditions.

:lol: According to some other threads on MTF, even the cold wouldn't stop certain players in TB sich-e-ations. :eek:

Action Jackson 10-28-2006 01:27 AM

Re: Fearless Leader Mr Disney Welcomes MTF suggestions to reform the ATP
 
For events in the States.

- Both players have to ride a bull and whoever lasts longest wins the match.

NYCtennisfan 10-28-2006 01:30 AM

Re: Fearless Leader Mr Disney Welcomes MTF suggestions to reform the ATP
 
If a player hits more than 5 double faults in a match, a lucky fan is picked who gets to

a) slap the player
b) spank the player
c) fellate the player for encouragement

atheneglaukopis 10-28-2006 01:57 AM

Re: Fearless Leader Mr Disney Welcomes MTF suggestions to reform the ATP
 
When players shout in their own language, they don't get penalized as long as they translate for the benefit of the audience, who thereby get free lessons in obscenities. This will increase not only audience entertainment, but also participation, because once audience members learn these new words, they can start yelling back.

Example 1: Berdych swears in Czech, translates, Madrid audience now equipped to cuss him out in his own language every time he hits a winner.
Example 2: Safin plays well, then starts to choke, and fans who are now fluent from previous matches yell at him in Russian.

Action Jackson 10-28-2006 02:05 AM

Re: Fearless Leader Mr Disney Welcomes MTF suggestions to reform the ATP
 
Ljubo should do a striptease after he wins or start abusing umpires and come onto court wearing a robe with "Ivan the Terrible" on the back.

MisterQ 10-28-2006 02:08 AM

Re: Fearless Leader Mr Disney Welcomes MTF suggestions to reform the ATP
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by GeorgeWHitler (Post 4359486)
Ljubo should do a striptease after he wins .

That's a good way to get the spectators out and on their way quickly.


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