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MTF suggestions to reform the ATP and tennis in general

44K views 598 replies 231 participants last post by  Looner 
#1 · (Edited)
Apart from dumping Round Robin to the cesspool where it came from and since our Fearless Leader of the ATP Mr Disney Etienne de Villiers cares really what the fans think.

It's time for some suggestions that Mr Disney should listen to, since he wants to make tennis more interesting for the masses.

- Instead of a TB, they should have a serving contest where they place a cone in the service box and the person who hits it the most will win. (GWH)

- It should be decided on a round of Greco-Roman wrestling. Labadze will then proceed to become the marketing dream of the ATP. (Merton)

- If Tursunov is playing, then he must be allowed to have a blog off against his opponent except if it is Federer or Nadal, cause they have to be in the final. (GWH)

- As for the clay they have to do as many 360s while sliding laterally and forwards within a minute and have a tennis ball balanced on their head. (GWH)

- Instead of hitting a cone, they should bring out a lion in a cage on the service line - most balls served into the lions mouth wins. Bring on the Spectacle, Disney boy... and serve that cotton candy... (TenHound)

- Another idea to replace the tie-break: they pick 2 random spectators in the crowd (one for each player). The 1st player who gets his serve returned by the spectator loses.

OR

No spectator involved but they can do something like the penalty kicks in football (since Mr. Disney loves the WC system). If the opponent can't return the serve it counts as a goal. (Saumon)
 
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#2 · (Edited)
Re: Fearless Leader Mr Disney Welcomes MTF suggestions to reform the ATP

Since Rafa believes in the circus act of RR.

I figure there are some other tricks he could do. He could grab a coconut or a walnut and put them between his butt cheeks and see if he could crack them by flexing.
 
#3 ·
Re: Fearless Leader Mr Disney Welcomes MTF suggestions to reform the ATP

The three players in the RR group try to pick up the most phone numbers at a bar, highest total goes through.
 
#174 ·
Re: Fearless Leader Mr Disney Welcomes MTF suggestions to reform the ATP

The three players in the RR group try to pick up the most phone numbers at a bar, highest total goes through.
Radek loss for sure!

Radek :hug:
 
#6 ·
Re: Fearless Leader Mr Disney Welcomes MTF suggestions to reform the ATP

5-set matches will not disappear, but the player may ask any other player to replace him (except for Federer on all surfaces and Nadal on clay).
That is known as the James Blake solution.
 
#8 ·
Re: Fearless Leader Mr Disney Welcomes MTF suggestions to reform the ATP

Somebody's gonna mention it so why not me: dick size decides TB'ers.
:lol:

Towards that end, players refuse to play in cold conditions.
 
#7 · (Edited)
Mr Disney De Villiers Welcomes MTF suggestions to reform the ATP

If the player argues with the umpire over a line call or Hawkeye then that player gets an electric shock for showing dissent against the ATP.
 
#11 ·
Re: Fearless Leader Mr Disney Welcomes MTF suggestions to reform the ATP

For events in the States.

- Both players have to ride a bull and whoever lasts longest wins the match.
 
#13 ·
Re: Fearless Leader Mr Disney Welcomes MTF suggestions to reform the ATP

When players shout in their own language, they don't get penalized as long as they translate for the benefit of the audience, who thereby get free lessons in obscenities. This will increase not only audience entertainment, but also participation, because once audience members learn these new words, they can start yelling back.

Example 1: Berdych swears in Czech, translates, Madrid audience now equipped to cuss him out in his own language every time he hits a winner.
Example 2: Safin plays well, then starts to choke, and fans who are now fluent from previous matches yell at him in Russian.
 
#14 ·
Re: Fearless Leader Mr Disney Welcomes MTF suggestions to reform the ATP

Ljubo should do a striptease after he wins or start abusing umpires and come onto court wearing a robe with "Ivan the Terrible" on the back.
 
#17 ·
Re: Fearless Leader Mr Disney Welcomes MTF suggestions to reform the ATP

When chubby Chela wins a match, he should rip of his shirt and do a Hulk Hogan impression.

 
#26 ·
Re: Fearless Leader Mr Disney Welcomes MTF suggestions to reform the ATP

When chubby Chela wins a match, he should rip of his shirt and do a Hulk Hogan impression.
Every side change, both players are able to spit his opponent once. The one who fail is penalized with a game.
 
#19 ·
Re: Fearless Leader Mr Disney Welcomes MTF suggestions to reform the ATP

Everytime Volandri aces his opponent, ATP donates 1000000 dollars to poor people.
The same amount should be done everytime Karlovic hits a groundstoke winner.
 
#25 ·
Re: Fearless Leader Mr Disney Welcomes MTF suggestions to reform the ATP

Who is the true evil on the ATP tour?
Satan versus Nalbandian IV versus Mr. Disney
:haha: :haha:
 
#22 ·
Re: Fearless Leader Mr Disney Welcomes MTF suggestions to reform the ATP

:lol: :lol: :lol:

This thread is great guys. Keep it up.
 
#24 ·
Re: Fearless Leader Mr Disney Welcomes MTF suggestions to reform the ATP

Apart from dumping Round Robin to the cesspool where it came from and since our Fearless Leader of the ATP Mr Disney Etienne de Villiers cares really what the fans think.

It's time for some suggestions that Mr Disney should listen to, since he wants to make tennis more interesting for the masses.

- Instead of a TB, they should have a serving contest where they place a cone in the service box and the person who hits it the most will win. (GWH)

- It should be decided on a round of Greco-Roman wrestling. Labadze will then proceed to become the marketing dream of the ATP. (Merton)

- If Tursunov is playing, then he must be allowed to have a blog off against his opponent except if it is Federer or Nadal, cause they have to be in the final. (GWH)

- As for the clay they have to do as many 360s while sliding laterally and forwards within a minute and have a tennis ball balanced on their head. (GWH)

- Instead of hitting a cone, they should bring out a lion in a cage on the service line - most balls served into the lions mouth wins. Bring on the Spectacle, Disney boy... and serve that cotton candy... (TenHound)

- Another idea to replace the tie-break: they pick 2 random spectators in the crowd (one for each player). The 1st player who gets his serve returned by the spectator loses.

OR

No spectator involved but they can do something like the penalty kicks in football (since Mr. Disney loves the WC system). If the opponent can't return the serve it counts as a goal. (Saumon)
I vote they can-can de Villiers and supplant him with none other than our very own George WHitler. As long as the ATP installs a screwball who wants to emphasize the E in Entertainment value of the sport, might as well make the entertainment a laugh riot.

You're on a roll. Whatever you do, don't stop now. Although, I must add, I seem to have lost my taste for walnuts.
 
#27 ·
Re: Fearless Leader Mr Disney Welcomes MTF suggestions to reform the ATP

Anytime LaLo hits a topspin backhand winner he automatically gets through to the semi finals.
 
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#28 ·
Re: Fearless Leader Mr Disney Welcomes MTF suggestions to reform the ATP

The new double revolution which finally will attract American fans: Roger Rabbit/federer versus Mowgli/Nadal.
 
#29 ·
Re: Fearless Leader Mr Disney Welcomes MTF suggestions to reform the ATP

The audience should be allowed to vote people out of the tournament Big Brother-style. The two most popular players remaining can play the final.

Or..

We could have an idols-like jury consisting of a former mediocre female tennis player, a tennis coach and a tennis official to criticise the players after every unforced error. This jury could consist of Jana Novotna, Brad Gilbert an Mr. Disney himself.
 
#64 ·
Re: Fearless Leader Mr Disney Welcomes MTF suggestions to reform the ATP

The audience should be allowed to vote people out of the tournament Big Brother-style. The two most popular players remaining can play the final.

Or..

We could have an idols-like jury consisting of a former mediocre female tennis player, a tennis coach and a tennis official to criticise the players after every unforced error. This jury could consist of Jana Novotna, Brad Gilbert an Mr. Disney himself.
:lol: i've been laughing at a lot of suggestions but this one takes the cake for me. it is a scary scenario, because i can just see it happening. some desparate tourney might want to try it :rolleyes:

question is, would any pro be game enough to enrol with the tournament ??? lol
 
#31 ·
Re: Fearless Leader Mr Disney Welcomes MTF suggestions to reform the ATP

Any journalist asking a dumb question like for example to Marc Rosset. Are you happy you lost? Yes, delighted will have their accreditation denied for 10 years.

Any player who says you know more than 15 times within a 4 minute interview will be suspended for 2 months and forced to take language lessons.
 
#46 ·
Re: Fearless Leader Mr Disney Welcomes MTF suggestions to reform the ATP

Any player who says you know more than 15 times within a 4 minute interview will be suspended for 2 months and forced to take language lessons.
Sampras would have had a hard time playing a single week with that rule
 
#33 ·
Re: Fearless Leader Mr Disney Welcomes MTF suggestions to reform the ATP

- Xristos is automatically given the #1 spot because he says he's better than Federer :)

- Only televise matches where both players have hot girlfriends. Spare us the sight of Monster Mirka :scared:

- Uncle Toni is officially placed in charge of draws.
 
#34 ·
Re: Fearless Leader Mr Disney Welcomes MTF suggestions to reform the ATP

When there is a rain delay the match that must be shown on TV is Irakli Labadze vs David Nalbandian, one wearing a leopard skin g-string and the other clad in hot pink.
 
#37 ·
Re: Fearless Leader Mr Disney Welcomes MTF suggestions to reform the ATP

- Irakli Labadze to undergo an obesity test.

- Bald players to be banned from tennis.
Irakli is big boned.

Those bald guys have such an advantage at altitude.
 
#38 ·
Re: Fearless Leader Mr Disney Welcomes MTF suggestions to reform the ATP

- Tennis to never be shown in Croatia (it might spare us the Croats on here :rocker2: )
That is against the ethos of Mr Disney and since we are Mr Disney's loyal subjects, we must show respect to this man.
 
#39 ·
Re: Fearless Leader Mr Disney Welcomes MTF suggestions to reform the ATP

There will be an ATP event played in La Paz at 3700m above sea level, where there is an actual benefit and problem with the altitude.

At the change of the ends the ballboys will give the players oxygen masks, then after the match, they will get drug tested and they will fail cause they had too much CO2 in their system.
 
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