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The best player in the world: Berlocq. Post 348: UPDATE FOR MERCY 6. CHAMPION!!!

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#1 · (Edited)
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Update for Mercy.

1st update

2nd update

3rd update

4th update - HAPPY 30th BIRTHDAY WARLOCQ!!!

5th update

6th update



Laughin with Charly.

Laughin with Charly 1

Laughin with Charly 2 (London Olympics special edition)

Laughin with Charly 3

Laughin with Charly 4



The Real King of Clay



-------------------------------------------------------------------



So, let's suppose I ask you: Who's the best player of the moment?



Djokovic? Nadal? Federer?​

WRONG!!!

It's Carlos motherfuckin Berlocq, bitch!​

"...He's another south american claycourter"​
"...He doesn't have a forehand..."​
"He's a challenger level clown..."​

Grow a big PAIR OF BALLS and listen to me, goddamn fool!

- He was born in 1983
The year the earth had his lowest temperature ever 89.2 °C (−128.6 °F) in Antartica
SO DAMN EPIC

- He's from Chascomus city
The city with the best DULCE DE LECHE in the whole fuckin WORLD.
- He's in the best moment of his career


And he's so FUCKIN HUNGRY!!






Let's see some stats...


Who's the player who made more bagels in 2012?
"Easy question: Novak Djokovic"



YOU WISH!

Berlocq 8
Djokovic 5
BOOM!! Right in the ass





Look at this shit:


Did you saw that?
Did you read those stats?



14 motherfuckin titles purely made of his rivals PAIN


And that's not all...

He's the best challenger level player from Argentina.
He brings GLORY to his nation.​


"Uhhh... If he brings glory to his nation. Why don't he play Davis Cup?"

Davis cup is a fucking lie!!!​

Charly doesn't need Davis Cup. He's the 4th best player from Argentina right now.

That's right bitch. He's gonna be in the FUCKIN OLYMPICS.


Keep crying, baby Nalby, but you're OUT.







But that's not me talking, let's hear some nasty testimonials.



"Boy, I wish I have Berlocq's deadly backhand"

Novak Djokovic, ATP N° 1


"I want Charly to put his face between my boobs"

Random girl


"I would change my 16 grand slams, just for a dinner with Charly"

Roger Federer



"I want to have sex with that sexy latin boy"
Your mother




What do you think now?!​



Be a man and pray for mercy to your new god.




You still doesn't love him? Well FUCK YOU, Charly doesn't need you.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

What MTF has to say about Berlocq:

Berlocq he serve volleys on 2nd serve when down break point and has a fine mullet.

I like Berlocq, he´s a living proof of where hard work can get you.
We know that Berlocq is a beast for a long time now. Nadal, Djoker and all top 20 players don't play challengers because they are afraid of Carlos Berlocq and stand no chance against him.

memo to berlocq`s adversaries:


pray for death.

He is soo good that i tried to made a video highlights of one of his matches but i couldnt because youtube dident allow the huge duration of the film.

Dodig challenged Berlocq to a "who has most testicles contest" and lost by 3

Bagel king (better than Djokovic), GOAT mullet (better than prime Haas) and GOAT grunt (better than Venus and Sharapova combined). MTF legend in the making.

of course it is well known that dodig is the proud owner of three sizeable testicles... but, not as well known is the fact that berlocq has been denied entry to a total of 4 U.S. states as his right testicle was deemed 'excessive'...

he’ll be the first player inducted into the tennis hall of fame, twice.
 
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#239 ·
Re: The best player in the world right now. Berlocq - Post #187: Laughin with Charly

Carlos Berlocq will be part of the Argentinian Davis Cup team.



Suddenly, Argentina seems the favorite to win the whole thing.
 
#240 ·
Re: The best player in the world right now. Berlocq - Post #187: Laughin with Charly

What a guy this Charly.
 
#244 ·
Re: The best player in the world right now. Berlocq - Post #187: Laughin with Charly

if Del Potro can't play as there are some rumours, Charly might be Argentina's saviour :lol:

Anyway, I guess he will at least play the double.
If the draw is 2-2, I'd be happy with Charly in the 5th match.
I think it's the best chance we'd ever get.
 
#245 ·
Re: The best player in the world right now. Berlocq - Post #187: Laughin with Charly




In the first post I said that Davis cup was a lie, but today, it seems the mighty Warlocq gave the tournament some more prestige.
 
#250 ·
Re: The best player in the world right now. Berlocq - Post #187: Laughin with Charly

Up

Warlocq :D
 
#252 ·
Re: The best player in the world right now. Berlocq - Post #187: Laughin with Charly

So... 2012 season is over, we had a wonderful season.
Tennis is a wonderful sport, we're all happy, all the world are pure rainbows and unicorns :)








WHO - GIVES - A - FUCK!?!





This is the only highlight you should care about 2012:


"The real number one, baby"

--------------------------------------------------------
This is update for mercy number 3

And we're about to say:

FUCK DJOKOVIC!! Your number one doesn't mean SHIT here.
FUCK FEDERER!!! Your 17 slams can't compare to the mighty Warlocq.
FUCK NADAL!!!!! Your best thing this year is giving your fan the ACC.
FUCK MURRAY!!!! You happy you won a slam? FUCK IT! You should've won it sooner.

Honorable mentions to:

FUCK Czech republic Davis Cup Team.
You've got lucky Warlocq only played one match.

FUCK Ferrer.
You beat a NOBODY in your Masters final.
Mark Lenders likes this.

FUCK Sam Groth.
Warlocq would have made a return-winner of your serve.


We still don't know the 2013 Berlocq season.
Charly likes to surprise their rivals by entering every tournament as a wildcard, so he can surprise them. Having Berlocq in your side of the draw is the most devastating mental-thing that could happen to any player.


You don't need no luck, but we wish you a good season.
It's obvious that if you want to have, you will.




Would you dare to play a tennis match with this badass Charles the 1st of his name?
 
#254 ·
Re: The best player in the world right now. Berlocq - Post #252 Update for mercy 3

So, did finally Charly end the year as the player who delivered more bagels or did Djokovic (or someone else)surpass him??
Out of generosity Warlocq let Mugovic have the bagel lead by 1.
 
#265 · (Edited)
Re: The best player in the world right now. Berlocq - Post #252 Update for mercy 3

UPDATE FOR MERCY 4

Today we have a different kind of update for mercy.

You see... Let's travel in time, 30 years ago, to the beautiful city of Chascomús, Buenos Aires, Argentina.


In this beautiful place, 30 years ago, 3 wise men riding camels went to see the birth of the new Tennis God.

They were, Rod Laver, Pancho Gonzales and Bill Tilden.
- Bill was dead.
- SHUT UP!


30 years ago, the new tennis god was born.



We want to say him: HAPPY BIRTHDAY WARLOCQ.

You're the light in the dark, the waterbottle in the desert, the ass-cover in the gay sauna, the Iphone in the Monfils-Simon match.



The only king in this mess.
The only player to rule them all.
The best tennis we've ever seen.

And even today, in his birthday, he went to play for his country, with his heart and soul.
Of course he won, he decided he wanted to bring people happiness, so he won.

PRAY FOR MERCY

Carlos "Warlocq" Berlocq is alive, and powerful than ever.
 
#266 ·
Re: The best player in the world right now. Berlocq - Post #265 HAPPY BIRTHDAY WARLOC

No Del Potro, but the goat is here to rescue Argentina.

Wins his two matches and sends the team through. That's why he tanked the AO match against Nishikori. Now he'll win the whole thing.
 
#295 ·
Re: The best player in the world right now. Berlocq, the Warlocq

Update for Mercy N° 5

I think we deserve a new update for mercy right now.

We're waiting for the press conference of the great Warlocq, I'll try to translate it. (Probably a blog post and all that amazing stuff).

But if you don't know, let me use these images to explain it:














That's right. Berlocq, the Warlocq won the 5th point in the Davis cup tie.

Are we surprised? No, we're not.

Berlocq gave Tsonga a good victory because he knew he needed one, but he made it epic, because... He's the Warlocq, and he made it clear. "No, Jo, you won't win it easily in 4 sets".

And now we're here. The world's talking about Warlocq once again.
IT SHOULD BE ALWAYS LIKE THIS!!!!

I think it's a good moment to change our official MTF link (in the WTA-sister forum):


Can anyone contribute with a new one?

The match:

Berlocq defeated Gilles Simon in Davis Cup 6-4 5-7 6-4 6-4 in almost 4 hours.
(We're waiting for highlights).

After 2 easy victories in Buenos Aires (6-2 6-1) and Acapulco (7-6 6-3), and a beautiful gift in Hamburg, Berlocq decided he gave Simon enough victories and to make his countrymen happy by winning over Simon with his warriors skills and mental tricks.
He had a total of 5 match points before winning the 6th, just because he knew that was the only way to scare the frenchman in the future.
Like the human (super-human, but still he has a human-part) he is, he cried and smiled after the match.

His first on-court words after the match:

"I have no words to express what I feel. You can't imagine the fear I felt before entering the court. You can't imagine the pressure I had during the whole match. I felt like I was cramped, I was injured. SO many feelings. This is not because of getting along, but the force you (To the crowd) gave me today... I have no words"

"Sportingly, this is the most special day of my life and I want to share it with all of them (The DC Team) and with everyone that's on the back. You can't imagine what we every one of us felt to win this tie. I felt we got an achievement. This is a team's victory".


No Del Potro, but the goat is here to rescue Argentina.

Wins his two matches and sends the team through. That's why he tanked the AO match against Nishikori. Now he'll win the whole thing.
:worship:
He knew Tsonga needed a good victory and look what he did! He made him recover his good-form (Another Warlocq miracle!), as we have seen vs Monaco.


warlocq will lead argentina to dc tie win while bandy is busy eating burgers from argentina's finest beef
:worship:
Prediction queen. :hearts:



I promise here 2 updates the moment I know I can do it.

- Translated interview with Warlocq and Warlocq's post in his official web/blog.
- Posting the highlights of the match.



But remember, my friends. This wasn't a victory.
No.

IT WAS A MESSAGE.

Never underestimate the Warlocq.
Respect your King.
Accept the facts.
Pray for mercy.



Tennis god.
 
#267 ·
Re: The best player in the world right now. Berlocq - Post #265 HAPPY BIRTHDAY WARLOC

Vamos Charly!!!! Happy Birthday To Te Goat!!!
 
#268 ·
Re: The best player in the world right now. Berlocq - Post #265 HAPPY BIRTHDAY WARLOC

Goatlocq
 
#270 ·
Re: The best player in the world right now. Berlocq - Post #265 HAPPY BIRTHDAY WARLOC

Poor chileans, they will feel the wrath of the Warlocq now.
 
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