Okay, so I went round a friends house who I hadn't seen for a while. His lodger was there too and we talked for an hour or two. I found myself struggling with the conversation, which then led to anxiety, which made it worse! This has happened to me before but not for a while. Anyone else get that? Where you're in a group of people and not talking much or at all?
I don't get anxiety when I'm around a lot of people. I've never gotten nervous with any sort of spotlight on me or in groups, but I am a naturally quiet person. A lot of people mistake that for being shy, but it takes me a while to warm up to a situation/person. Unless it's a hot man, of course.
I think that's actually what I'm worried about - that people will think that I am shy. I don't see that as a good trait to have. I'll just pay for some therapy lol
Happens a lot to me too as I'm really shy, maybe it's a trust issue though as once I get to know people well I feel okay to talk to them more. :scratch:
Yeah that could be partly it too! I feel like sometimes I have to moderate everything in my mind before I say it, incase I say the wrong thing! By the time it gets to saying it the moment has passed :lol: I feel envious of people who find it easy to talk to anyone though.
Well, as the old saying goes, it is better to be silent and thought of as a fool, than to open your mouth and prove it. I tend to not say much until I know someone pretty well. You learn more by listening.
Well, as the old saying goes, it is better to be silent and thought of as a fool, than to open your mouth and prove it. I tend to not say much until I know someone pretty well. You learn more by listening.
Lol when I first meet people I'm extremely quiet and shy, but after like 30 mins, when we've both opened up, they have to beg me to shut my mouth :lol:
You people are weird. I prefer not to talk to people. When in a group I'll just go along with my own thoughts - or, when drinking, dancing on the table.
No, that doesn't happen a lot to me. Of course I've experienced awkward silences a few times but rarely or never have I been the cause for them. I'm a talkative guy in most situations.
It is easy. All you have to do is open your mouth and make use of your vocal cords
Seriously though, it's gotta be nerves. Nerves are good, if you use them to your advantage. Don't get choked up by the nerves. Feel the nerves, embrace the nerves, use it as a high. That's what athletes do :shrug:
It's normal for most men especially in groups of women. It's like approach anxiety which EVERY man has. Why? Because it's not part of your comfort zone. The only solution to get rid of these anxieties is to have the courage and practice these things over and over again. You have to do exactly what you are afraid of. You'll never get rid of your anxieties but you can reduce them. You need to extend your comfort zones.
If I'm with one friend, I'm good. Once the group gets larger, I find myself listening more than talking. Often times I feel like I can't relate to what they're saying and don't feel comfortable trying to respond. If it's a party.. I'm fucked I don't even go. I get all anxious and nervous and it's just bad.
Depends who I'm with. With a friend or group of friends, no. With an acquaintance/'drinking buddy', not really.
If it's someone I've never met before, then I tend to struggle. Then again I hate small talk.
I get nervous when speaking in public though, obviously doesn't help if you've got a stammer. Had the honour of being a best man recently, so I had to do a speech there. The first paragraph was a bit ropey, but after that I managed to speak with clarity. Considered that a victory.
What do you mean? You can't talk at all or you are not able to talk about feelings or deeper meaning or whatever?
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