The Prayer Room revisited (Andy's FRESH PRAYER ON PAGE 3) [Archive] - MensTennisForums.com

The Prayer Room revisited (Andy's FRESH PRAYER ON PAGE 3)

The_Nadal_effect
03-02-2007, 05:15 PM
Alright! This one came out when I was in one of my moods! Had to belt out the anger on someone, it had to be Roddick! This piece of fact posing as fiction is set right before the AO-Semi final this year, between Rod and Fed.:cool:

A-RODíS LOCKER ROOM PRAYER

Heavenly father who hears my prayer,
Keep me safe when I head out there,
I know heís flighty, I know heís fun,
But just donít say Iím Ďthe Chosen oneí
To be chased like a chicken all over the court
Reborn again and again as his scapegoat

Tonight, Oí Lord grant me a change
of fortune; let there be sweet revenge
As I go out there and sweat under the light
See to it that heís fully polite
That he does not pillage and tear my game
1 win to 12 lossesí already a shame

Iím high on confidence after Kooyong
Full of belief that I am on a song,
My record against him is hardly amusing
So, put an end to this constant abusing.
Tonight, Iíll send this message across
This AO semi-finalís my gain, his loss!

Let me take him down in three straight sets
And see the end of these All-American protests
About my vulnerability with him, theyíve raised a storm
Lord, I desperately need to get back in form
To save myself from being the Fed-Duck
All I need is some luck and more luck!

All of a sudden, I feel this relief
Like magic potion, Iím full of belief
With racquet and skills, Iíll do the talking
6-4, 6-0, 6-2...Iíll send him walking
And rid myself of that horrible habit
Of always ending up as Rogerís Rabbit!
Amen.

That night, Roddick went into the court, full of confidence. Rest is history.

Anybody else who wants to pitch in a few lines can add insult to injury, no offence to A-Rod Fans! ;) :devil:

tangerine_dream
03-02-2007, 05:17 PM
The obssession with Roddick continues on its merry way. :cool:

Peacemaster
03-02-2007, 05:47 PM
During the whipping in the second set, he muses:

"Lord, what have I done? Which sin has angered thee?
That my penance must accost such harsh degree?
This must be Tennis Hell, for I'm reduced to a hack,
Oh God! You cannot be serious! He got my overhead back!
Well, I guess I'll vent on the press, all haughty and rude,
But first, (give me strength) let me take out this Chinese dude!

(hits ball out of the park and the racquet flies...)

planerider
03-03-2007, 12:57 PM
Very funny!

refero*fervens
03-03-2007, 02:38 PM
Aw sheesh I have nothing against Andy but you must admit that it's catchy :lol:

ďMy Lord it canít be, No please not a bagel!
After talking of winning, putting all on the table,
Did I anger you so by talking of closing
The gap which by now seems more greatly imposing?
Oh please end my suffering, but let me hold at 5-1
I shall nevermore talk of defeating your sonÖĒ :angel:

Seraphim
03-03-2007, 03:02 PM
Lmao.

Jim Courier
03-03-2007, 05:31 PM
Not bad :)
Poor Roddick, every tournament all he can hope for is making it to Roger. It is one of the most desperate matchups at this level since Roger does everyting better than him and makes his big weapons useless.

My try at an alexandrin

I can't believe Roger, how can he have the nerve
Breaking me like Coria ridicules my big serve
Passing me down the line with his newfound backhand
His long topspin crosscourt shatters my best forehand

Be it on clay or grass, on hardcourts or indoor
Every time, the verdict goes in Roger's favor
Connors says the answer is to go to the net
But once there all i am is a big red target

Sainte Rita patroness of all desperate causes
Please hear my plea for help, it worked out for Moses

The_Nadal_effect
03-03-2007, 06:02 PM
During the whipping in the second set, he muses:

"Lord, what have I done? Which sin has angered thee?
That my penance must accost such harsh degree?
This must be Tennis Hell, for I'm reduced to a hack,
Oh God! You cannot be serious! He got my overhead back!
Well, I guess I'll vent on the press, all haughty and rude,
But first, (give me strength) let me take out this Chinese dude!

(hits ball out of the park and the racquet flies...)

Lol! You're a Wordsworth, PeaceMaster!

Here are a few more lines to continue the thread:

(complaining)
Why him and only him in my freaking draw?
Is this some fundamental karmic flaw?
You leave your children on earth alone in a battle!
If Thou art so shameless, why shouldn't I rattle?
How would I not believe I--am--no--fluke,
If at my talent he should constantly puke?

Seleshfan
03-03-2007, 06:14 PM
We shoud just change this room to the Prayer Room for all the prayers of players, since prayers just for Andy would get boring after awhile.

Rafa's Prayer

Hola Lord, you hear me, no?
Can you just tell me where my game go?
I use to play good with not lot of the pression
Now all the guys play good too, with lots of aggression
Protect my famous ass lord from a non clay court spanking
or I could loose, my number two ranking
You have incredible power, no? Can control all the sports?
Maybe you turn all the courts to clay courts?
Like water to wine, hard court to clay
and then I will show how good I can play.

Thank you lord.

P.S. Tio Toni says, when you gonna give him the power to control the draws again.

Seleshfan
03-03-2007, 06:15 PM
Aw sheesh I have nothing against Andy but you must admit that it's catchy :lol:

ďMy Lord it canít be, No please not a bagel!
After talking of winning, putting all on the table,
Did I anger you so by talking of closing
The gap which by now seems more greatly imposing?
Oh please end my suffering, but let me hold at 5-1
I shall nevermore talk of defeating your sonÖĒ :angel:

:worship:

Peacemaster
03-03-2007, 06:27 PM
We shoud just change this room to the Prayer Room for all the prayers of players, since prayers just for Andy would get boring after awhile.

Rafa's Prayer

Hola Lord, you hear me, no?
Can you just tell me where my game go?
I use to play good with not lot of the pression
Now all the guys play good too, with lots of aggression
Protect my famous ass lord from a non clay court spanking
or I could loose, my number two ranking
You have incredible power, no? Can control all the sports?
Maybe you turn all the courts to clay courts?
Like water to wine, hard court to clay
and then I will show how good I can play.

Thank you lord.

P.S. Tio Toni says, when you gonna give him the power to control the draws again.

Priceless... :lol:

The_Nadal_effect
03-03-2007, 06:29 PM
Aw sheesh I have nothing against Andy but you must admit that it's catchy :lol:

ďMy Lord it canít be, No please not a bagel!
After talking of winning, putting all on the table,
Did I anger you so by talking of closing
The gap which by now seems more greatly imposing?
Oh please end my suffering, but let me hold at 5-1
I shall nevermore talk of defeating your sonÖĒ :angel:

You rock, dude:haha:! Here are some more lines:

(Roddick sits wiping his sweat, boosting his morale before the third set, play held at 6-4,6-0)

13-1 doesn't sound all that bad now...
I stood on two feet, I should be glad...and how?
The Lord moves in mysterious ways, that we all know
Perhaps a lesson for me, He wants to show
When push comes to shove, it can be worse
After all I was only born with this shitty curse...
(...more tomorrow...)

NicoFan
03-03-2007, 06:35 PM
I like both Andy and Rafa...but these prayers are funny. :lol:

Kudos... :yeah:

The_Nadal_effect
03-03-2007, 06:39 PM
We shoud just change this room to the Prayer Room for all the prayers of players, since prayers just for Andy would get boring after awhile.

Rafa's Prayer

Hola Lord, you hear me, no?
Can you just tell me where my game go?
I use to play good with not lot of the pression
Now all the guys play good too, with lots of aggression
Protect my famous ass lord from a non clay court spanking
or I could loose, my number two ranking
You have incredible power, no? Can control all the sports?
Maybe you turn all the courts to clay courts?
Like water to wine, hard court to clay
and then I will show how good I can play.

Thank you lord.

P.S. Tio Toni says, when you gonna give him the power to control the draws again.

:haha: :haha: :haha: :haha: Marvellous! That is sooo Rafa! I suddenly discover how Shakespearean we all are!

If its going to be a 'prayer room'thread aka 'conversations with God', aka conquering the demons' sort of thread, here's an opener, sung in hymn by all in ATP tour:

O Lord of all worlds, we should be dead...
They've reduced our significance to an MTF thread...
(more tommorrowwww)

Keep this thread rolling, Shaky-spears!!:worship: :bowdown: :worship:
Limmericks...twoliners...anything anyone can recall in their bathtubs!

Peacemaster
03-03-2007, 06:45 PM
Lol! You're a Wordsworth, PeaceMaster!

Here are a few more lines to continue the thread:

(complaining)
Why him and only him in my freaking draw?
Is this some fundamental karmic flaw?
You leave your children on earth alone in a battle!
If Thou art so shameless, why shouldn't I rattle?
How would I not believe I--am--no--fluke,
If at my talent he should constantly puke?

Thanks mate! You're not too shabby yourself! :)

Let's see if I can keep this going...

(Andy back in the locker room, after the match)

Forgive me Lord, to the press, I did sarcastically opine,
"It sucked. It was terrible. Besides that, it was fine".
Truth be told, I fear the worst thrashing is still to be,
There's rock-bottom, fifty feet of crap, then there is me!
... I see it now! This is not Hell, it's merely Limbo!
Oh good, with a beer, here comes Jimbo...

planerider
03-03-2007, 10:26 PM
We shoud just change this room to the Prayer Room for all the prayers of players, since prayers just for Andy would get boring after awhile.

Rafa's Prayer

Hola Lord, you hear me, no?
Can you just tell me where my game go?
I use to play good with not lot of the pression
Now all the guys play good too, with lots of aggression
Protect my famous ass lord from a non clay court spanking
or I could loose, my number two ranking
You have incredible power, no? Can control all the sports?
Maybe you turn all the courts to clay courts?
Like water to wine, hard court to clay
and then I will show how good I can play.

Thank you lord.

P.S. Tio Toni says, when you gonna give him the power to control the draws again.

OMG Seleshfan, this is so f*ing funny I was sooooo laughing my ass off! Can we have more? :devil:

Seleshfan
03-04-2007, 05:38 AM
How could I refuse a special request? :hug:

Sampras' Prayer

Forgive me Lord, for I have thoughts of sin
I just have to prevent another Fed win
He's quickly encroaching on my most prized possession
My grand slam record which has been my obsession
It just doesn't seem fair that there's no competition
Which is why week after week it's a new acquisition
There's just no one like Edberg, or Rafter or Stich
Which is why this new era is so frickin' weak
Forgive my strong language Lord, I'm just so damn upset
That none of these players will come to the net
When I used to dominate, I'd volley with ease
but the net to these players is like a disease
The way to beat Roger is to take away time
and I know I would school him, if we played in my prime
Grant me the power Lord to turn back the clock
and I'll prove once for all that this Fed is a crock
Grant me the speed I once had in my youth
so it's me that they praise in the ESPN booth
*************************************

Alternate ending....

If it's too much to ask, then I'll understand
I can always use Gunther, he's free in Deutchsland

planerider
03-04-2007, 05:52 AM
How could I refuse a special request? :hug:

Sampras' Prayer

Forgive me Lord, for I have thoughts of sin
I just have to prevent another Fed win
He's quickly encroaching on my most prized possession
My grand slam record which has been my obsession
It just doesn't seem fair that there's no competition
Which is why week after week it's a new acquisition
There's just no one like Edberg, or Rafter or Stich
Which is why this new era is so frickin' weak
Forgive my strong language Lord, I'm just so damn upset
That none of these players will come to the net
When I used to dominate, I'd volley with ease
but the net to these players is like a disease
The way to beat Roger is to take away time
and I know I would school him, if we played in my prime
Grant me the power Lord to turn back the clock
and I'll prove once for all that this Fed is a crock
Grant me the speed I once had in my youth
so it's me that they praise in the ESPN booth
*************************************

Alternate ending....

If it's too much to ask, then I'll understand
I can always use Gunther, he's free in Deutchsland

Thank you Seleshfan. I enjoyed this one quite a bit too! :cool: You are quite the poet :worship: Who's next, Safin? Or is that too easy? Keep those rhymes coming!

Seleshfan
03-04-2007, 06:51 AM
Thank you Seleshfan. I enjoyed this one quite a bit too! :cool: You are quite the poet :worship: Who's next, Safin? Or is that too easy? Keep those rhymes coming!

Well I'm glad you liked it. :hug: I kinda, sorta, have the next player in mind that is in need of God's help. mwa ha ha ha... :) But you'll have to wait until tomorrow.

atheneglaukopis
03-04-2007, 08:43 AM
Like water to wine, hard court to clay:spit: Genius!

njorker
03-04-2007, 02:06 PM
:haha: These are really, really funny (I'm not even offended w/ the Andy poems). Kudos to all who made them + Rafa's & Sampras'! :worship:

Keep 'em coming! ;)

Andre'sNo1Fan
03-04-2007, 02:16 PM
The obssession with Roddick continues on its merry way. :cool:
Yep, its amazing the number of people obsessed with Roddick and Nadal on this forum. I can never understand if someone dislikes a player why they spend half their time thinking about them :lol:

The_Nadal_effect
03-04-2007, 06:40 PM
How could I refuse a special request? :hug:

Sampras' Prayer

Grant me the power Lord to turn back the clock
and I'll prove once for all that this Fed is a crock
Grant me the speed I once had in my youth
so it's me that they praise in the ESPN booth
*************************************


Lol! That is a post-retirement prayer indeed.
Seleshfan, you rock! I am short of words and rather jealous to praise you at this moment (honesty)! WE need more from you to keep this thread singing. Carry on the hard work, bud! As will I. Vamos!:devil:

NicoFan
03-04-2007, 06:43 PM
How could I refuse a special request? :hug:

Sampras' Prayer

Forgive me Lord, for I have thoughts of sin
I just have to prevent another Fed win
He's quickly encroaching on my most prized possession
My grand slam record which has been my obsession
It just doesn't seem fair that there's no competition
Which is why week after week it's a new acquisition
There's just no one like Edberg, or Rafter or Stich
Which is why this new era is so frickin' weak
Forgive my strong language Lord, I'm just so damn upset
That none of these players will come to the net
When I used to dominate, I'd volley with ease
but the net to these players is like a disease
The way to beat Roger is to take away time
and I know I would school him, if we played in my prime
Grant me the power Lord to turn back the clock
and I'll prove once for all that this Fed is a crock
Grant me the speed I once had in my youth
so it's me that they praise in the ESPN booth
*************************************

Alternate ending....

If it's too much to ask, then I'll understand
I can always use Gunther, he's free in Deutchsland

:lol:

Excelente!!! :yeah:

You guys are great.

NicoFan
03-04-2007, 06:44 PM
Yep, its amazing the number of people obsessed with Roddick and Nadal on this forum. I can never understand if someone dislikes a player why they spend half their time thinking about them :lol:

So true... :lol:

But I think here that everyone is just having a bit of fun. Maybe I'm missing something, but I don't find these mean spirited at all.

I like all these guys in the poems, but still find it funny.

Corey Feldman
03-04-2007, 06:50 PM
:lol: that semi final will live on forever in mine and everyone else's mind
:worship:
i thought the 03 wimby SF dismantling was something,

tcorinna
03-04-2007, 06:57 PM
P.S. Tio Toni says, when you gonna give him the power to control the draws again.


This is a killer ... I can't stop laughing ...
:haha: :haha: :haha: :haha:

Seleshfan
03-04-2007, 09:22 PM
Agassi's last pre-match prayer

The time is nigh, and I worry not about morrow
But still can't help to feel, this feeling of sorrow
My body has lost its battle with time
And the mountain I hiked, can no longer climb
If it were not for you, and a cortisone injection
I could not play here for America's affection
So lift me through my body's debris
And lead me through to victory
If not for me, then for my fans
I'll leave it in your benevolent hands

Amen

Rogiman
03-04-2007, 09:25 PM
Seleshfan with he's endless talent! :worship:

Seleshfan
03-04-2007, 11:29 PM
Lol! That is a post-retirement prayer indeed.
Seleshfan, you rock! I am short of words and rather jealous to praise you at this moment (honesty)! WE need more from you to keep this thread singing. Carry on the hard work, bud! As will I. Vamos!:devil:

Well.....I'll try, but I don't post very often anymore. I think you're going to have to take the lead on keeping this thread afloat mate. But before I go on another long break, I'll leave one more prayer, a player would make. :)

******************************************

Bye's Prayer

Am I invisible? Can you even see me?
Because Lord, as you know, I'm never on TV.
I put in such effort to ascend the ATP ladder
To lose in the first round, what does it matter?
I should just quit, I've not even one fan
Sometimes I feel I'm not even a man
The pressure's too great, and it eats at my soul
The main course is done, and now I'm not whole
Complete me Lord, you are the omnipotent
Help me to feel, I'm not insignificant

Seleshfan
03-04-2007, 11:31 PM
Seleshfan with he's endless talent! :worship:

:) awww....

The_Nadal_effect
03-05-2007, 07:33 AM
The pressure's too great, and it eats at my soul
The main course is done, and now I'm not whole
Complete me Lord, you are the omnipotent
Help me to feel, I'm not insignificant

:haha: And here's one more to invite more poetry and prose, however gross:

All poets and psuedos, do pen in a letter
The more the sarcastic and brutal, the better!
You know, maybe this is HIS CHOSEN NORM
To get out of shape players back in form
So lets not only sit and do the applause
But as true fans, stand up for one worthy cause!:angel:

Cheers! More later.

The_Nadal_effect
01-28-2009, 05:17 PM
BUMP.

ANDY RODDICK’S LOCKER ROOM PRAYER
(BEFORE AUSTRALIAN OPEN 2009 SEMIS):

O Sweet Lord in Heaven, O Architect Divine!
Get your eyes off Federer and listen to me whine.

All night yesterday, I couldn’t help but wonder
The merciless way I’ll be spanked down under
All night I dreamt of breadsticks and bagels
Bombing from the skies via cosmic travels

The signs were ominous, and I’m losing more pounds
Having thoughts of lewd massacre in my forthcoming round
Can you please do something if its not too late:
At least pretend you can help me change my fate

I thought he was losing touch, heading down the ranks
But yesterday’s centre-court murder was a shameless prank
Young Juan came shining on a streak of nine-matches
But a corpse left whining, recognisable only in patches

You say we are all your children; equal in your eyes,
Dude put your theory to practice; that would be nice!
Its me whose worked hard, grown faster and thinner
And I’m NOT prepared for a whipping on Laver’s Arena

I like my life and I’m playing my best tennis
Please try not repeating 2007’s AO menace
If I must believe you are no Universal Fraud
Spare my ass on the court and I WILL Praise the Lord!

Amen.

Please don’t shy from putting forward some kind messages or words of comfort for Andy. He needs all the help he can get at this unearthly hour.

miura
01-28-2009, 05:25 PM
Atleast you realize that Andy needs divine intervention to be able to defeat Roger :)