Why Can't People Be More Direct? [Archive] - MensTennisForums.com

Why Can't People Be More Direct?

Chloe le Bopper
08-15-2002, 01:06 PM
:sigh:

I get SO frusterated with people who don't just say how they feel, or what is on their mind...

For example I had a roomate all of first year in residence. ALL year I asked her if my late night habbits etc bothered her, and for SEVEN months she told me it was all good :)

Well 4 weeks before we move out :rolleyes: her freind tells me that I'm rude and inconsiderate for all the things I do that keep my roomate awake, and that I should think of her needs to :rolleyes:

I basically told the girl that she could eat it :p since she didn't know my side of the story, and she didn't even know what my habbits were since she didn't live with me.

I was actually really quite hurt, but I'm rather bull headed and don't admit when I'm hurt by something.



My point is that it drives me so mad :fiery: You don't get what you want in life unless you ask for it, work for it, take it etc -

Keeping things to yourself when you could make things better for you by just opening your mouth, is taking the long way around :(

I think that I spend way to much time trying to understand why people don't think like me ;) But seriously, I'm so confused :sad:

Chloe le Bopper
08-15-2002, 01:10 PM
I can actually answer my own question to a degree...

People are sometimes submissivie with their feelings because they dont' want to offend people.

but with the case above, I was far more hurt to know that they all bitched about me, then I would have been if she told me to take a hike one night in Septemeber.

So trying not to offend people usually backfires, they just make it worse.

Barrie_Dude
08-15-2002, 01:14 PM
Arguing with yourself again? Do you have any idea how mentally ill you are?:rolleyes: :p

Chloe le Bopper
08-15-2002, 01:23 PM
Acutally it shows that I can see both sides of a debate, and have a lot of insight.

It is unfortunate that you don't appear to have the same character traits, they might do you some well.

aura of moya
08-15-2002, 01:30 PM
I kind of agree.
I mean, I dislike it when someone says one thing to my face and other thing to people behind me.

At work, and boss seems to just right notes on my staff member thru the computer, and doesn't state his problem to my face.

My uncle is part owner and also my boss, but it's sad that he has to come to me and talk about that stuff cause my other boss doesn't have the ball to do it.

Do it to my face, and I wont begrudge you.

Chloe le Bopper
08-15-2002, 01:35 PM
Originally posted by Barrie_Dude
Arguing with yourself again? Do you have any idea how mentally ill you are?:rolleyes: :p

So now you make fun of people who are mentally ill? Oh, how big of you :rolleyes:

People who are mentally ill can't help it. You might as well be making fun of people who have cancer :fiery:

It is unfortunate to see how cold hearted you can be.

Barrie_Dude
08-15-2002, 04:06 PM
:rolleyes: Oh Please Becca! Noy Way Can You Infer That I Was Making Fun Of Mentally Ill People. In Fact, If You Can Recall Several Posts I Have Made On The Subject Of It, You'd Know I Was A Defender Of The Mentally Ill. But Then, I wouldn't Expect You To Know That.:rolleyes:

the cat
08-15-2002, 04:26 PM
I doubt you'll ever be able to figure it all out, Becca. it is very confusing. :confused: But shouldn't you respect the fact that your roommate was considerate enough to not want to hurt your feelings? If you're going to room with her again, I think you should have a nice talk with her to clear the air. She would probably open up to you in a way that you wouldn't be hurt.

And you're right, Becca. People are very submissive with their feelings because they don't want to offend others. But isn't that a good reason?

Becca, these situations are hard to figure out. But so are you. I've been told by someone I trust that you are very nice and soft spoken. :) I am not surprised to learn this. But sometimes you come accross very aggressively and in a somewhat mean spirited way when it might not be necessary. There have been many occasions where I didn't post a reply in one of your threads because of the possible repurcussions! The good things this person told me about you contradicts your sometimes rough and rampaging posting style!

You seem to have an understanding of people early in life, Becca. Since you do, you have the advantage and should be able to use your understanding in dealing with people.

Berlin_Calling
08-15-2002, 04:39 PM
ummm, well said Becca or sumthing

Chloe le Bopper
08-15-2002, 09:41 PM
lol Chrispy - that was deep :o



Becca, these situations are hard to figure out. But so are you. I've been told by someone I trust that you are very nice and soft spoken. I am not surprised to learn this. But sometimes you come accross very aggressively and in a somewhat mean spirited way when it might not be necessary. There have been many occasions where I didn't post a reply in one of your threads because of the possible repurcussions! The good things this person told me about you contradicts your sometimes rough and rampaging posting style!



Awwww. I come across as mean ? :( :sad: I AM nice and soft spoken - rrr, sort of. I'm just a big thinker, and most of what I do on here is what I'm thinking - but in real life wouldn't act on.

Yes, who knew that Becca was polite ;)

Allie
08-15-2002, 09:57 PM
People can't be more direct because they are afraid of the reaction they would get from it.

People should say whatever crap they want. Who cares anymore. No one cares. Just speak whatever comes up in your mind. When did someone actually make you not allow to say some stuff....

Your old roommate was stupid. If something bothers you, just say it. Don't hide it for months. :rolleyes:

Barrie_Dude
08-15-2002, 09:59 PM
:drool: :drool: Alexis You Look Great Naked!:drool: :drool:

Allie
08-15-2002, 10:00 PM
Barrie, you sound like some dirty old man. :rolleyes:

Barrie_Dude
08-15-2002, 10:01 PM
Well, I Don't Know About Old..........;) :D

Angele
08-15-2002, 10:18 PM
Peopl aren't more directed because they don't want to hurt anybody's feelings... it's as simple as that! Especially if it's somebody that they don't know very well. They have no way of knowing how that person would react to being told something offensive so they shut up!

Chloe le Bopper
08-15-2002, 10:22 PM
angele I understand that, but people will never get what they want, and they just hurt people more - when the do that.

Like in my given example, my roomate let little things that bugged her build up and up, till by the end we didn't really talk so much anymore - me for being annoyed at her for keeping that all in then spilling it to other people, and her for all the things I had done that she never told me about.

Of course in the end that one worked out, but they don't always do.

Enjoying my anology?

the cat
08-16-2002, 01:06 AM
Becca, it's nice to know that isn't really you when your tearing into someone! :angel: I think!

Chloe le Bopper
08-16-2002, 01:28 AM
Well I have mean thoughts, I just project them more on here.
;)

tennischick
08-17-2002, 03:12 PM
few folks can be as direct and honest as we two Becca. it's a burden but we must find ways to live with it...:o ;) :p

the cat
08-18-2002, 12:56 AM
A very rare TC sighting in Non-Tennis! :eek:

And how are you and Becca finding ways to live with being so opinionated? I mean direct! ;)

Chloe le Bopper
08-18-2002, 05:06 AM
IN *real life* I can see the look on someones face when I say something that is rude.

On the boards, I can't.

So it is much easier to point out someone's flaws on here, then it is to in *real* life.

In *real* life I have much more of a heart. In *real* life I just seek pride in the fact that I've already turned out better than 95% of the people who ever picked on me.

irma
08-18-2002, 08:27 AM
I try to be more direct but it's hard, I rather talk in big lines around it and then hope the person is smart enough to understand me :p
I always afraid it comes back to me, I am doing better now though and all thanks to the other board and cnn and this is serious true.
I wanna thank all dislikers of my favs for that :p

irma
08-18-2002, 08:34 AM
but when your roommate said it was alright then she should also not whine again others :rolleyes:

Chloe le Bopper
08-18-2002, 09:09 AM
You're right irma, she shouldn't have :sad:

I know its hard to beleive ;) But I am actually VERY polite in *real* life, and quite thoughtful about peoples feelings.

So I was quite hurt by the whole ordeal. The two of us are fine now mind you, it was just a blip on the radar :)

SanTaureau Fan
08-18-2002, 05:33 PM
Fearless direct people rulez !!! :kiss:

Chloe le Bopper
08-18-2002, 06:09 PM
ALL BAGEL STUD ALL THE TIME :kiss:

its.like.that
11-16-2005, 08:27 AM
:D

Washa Koroleva
11-16-2005, 10:56 AM
Is your room mate a shy type of person?

Chloe le Bopper
11-16-2005, 01:34 PM
Gah. Could we not bump my three year old threads, itslikethat?!

its.like.that
11-16-2005, 01:55 PM
Gah. Could we not bump my three year old threads, itslikethat?!

:tears:

but I totally agree with you 100% to the fullest - I want people to be more direct.

:D

Chloe le Bopper
11-16-2005, 02:59 PM
So do I. People who don't just come out and say what they want are asking for me to backhand them. But still, it's no big secret that I haven't always been this much of a winner... no need to bump my old threads to prove it!

its.like.that
11-16-2005, 03:15 PM
So do I. People who don't just come out and say what they want are asking for me to backhand them. But still, it's no big secret that I haven't always been this much of a winner... no need to bump my old threads to prove it!

it's all about the oldskool baby.

:sport:

Turkeyballs Paco
11-16-2005, 03:29 PM
sometimes people are afraid to have a confrontation with anybody. maybe they don't feel like they can hold it together or they can't deal with possibly losing an argument. but they are still frustrated so they talk to everyone else about it instead. the friend isn't afraid to confront you and then you have to find out that way, which isn't right, either. it sounds like it's her problem, not yours. don't worry too much about it.

Sandra
11-16-2005, 09:09 PM
sometimes people are afraid to have a confrontation with anybody. maybe they don't feel like they can hold it together or they can't deal with possibly losing an argument. but they are still frustrated so they talk to everyone else about it instead.
:yeah: Great said...i think there are some people that have ot read this thread ;)

Turkeyballs Paco
11-16-2005, 10:42 PM
Gah. Could we not bump my three year old threads, itslikethat?!

fuck, I didn't even see this one was 3 years old. fucking maniac, itslikethat, screw you, bastard freak. :p

PS I have no problem confronting people :p

MisterQ
11-17-2005, 12:37 AM
fuck, I didn't even see this one was 3 years old. fucking maniac, itslikethat, screw you, bastard freak. :p

PS I have no problem confronting people :p

But it's a timeless issue. ;)

+alonso
11-17-2005, 03:54 AM
Like Adee-gee saying something back to a Massu fan? :p

Nah, people could be weird sometimes.. :p and You have to ignore them.. :p

Chloe le Bopper
11-17-2005, 06:59 AM
I think that former roomate is getting married soon. She was engaged at last check. She would be the second to go out of that group of girls to go. Weirdos.