Mardy Fish worries about clown status (satire!)

01-18-2007, 02:44 PM
Found this gem from rst:


Mardy Fish admitted today that he is worried that he may be unable to
hold on to his cherished status as a clown of the courts. This came in
the wake of a shock win over Ivan Ljubicic in the first round in

"It's very worrying, no question", reported an anxious Fish. "Normally,
I would completely blow an opportunity to win from such a great
position, but unfortunately today I just don't know what happened out
there. I know it's the start of the season and I am a bit rusty, but I
need to drop my level significantly to achieve the results which I have
been doing since I got my super-clown status".

Experienced clown observers were reported to be unimpressed with Fish's
performance. "It was certainly disappointing", one said. "I feel sorry
for the spectators who paid good money to watch him collapse mentally
within sight of victory, when in fact they actually had to suffer
outbreaks of decent tennis. Mardy had better put in a spectacular choke
in this tournament, otherwise his clown status is under serious

The only saving grace for Fish was that his win came against an even
more superior clown in Ljubicic. "Yeah, I suppose that it would have
been difficult to lose against such as accomplished clown as Ivan",
said Fish. "I was blown away by his ability to completely throw away
the match, and I just couldn't compete with that. Fortunately my next
match is against Wayne Arthurs - that's a perfect chance for a great
joke performance since he's 35, it's his last year, he can hardly move
and has no return of serve. I'm looking forward to somehow conjuring up
a ludicrous defeat against him, as long as I can overcome those patches
of good play which affect me now and again".

Ljubicic commented "Mardy needs to work harder on his game - you've got
to remember that only slams count, which is why I always play well in
smaller events and reserve my most brainless play for the slams. On the
big stage, he just came up against a better clown on the day. I knew
that no matter what he did, I could surpass him in nonsensical tennis,
as I have consistently done it over the last few years".

01-18-2007, 03:24 PM
No worries.

01-18-2007, 03:30 PM
Ljubicic stole his crown ;)

01-18-2007, 03:36 PM
There is only One CLOWN = Gael Monfils

01-18-2007, 03:57 PM


Deathless Mortal
01-18-2007, 05:08 PM
Ljubicic stole his crown ;)