Long distance relationships, can they work? [Archive] - MensTennisForums.com

Long distance relationships, can they work?

merce
11-14-2006, 05:15 PM
Just curious to know what you think, post your thoughts about it :)

merce
11-14-2006, 05:27 PM
I'll say long distance relationships can work, but only if the parties involve start dating before the distance came between them.

Mickey
11-14-2006, 05:41 PM
I voted "No" for the poll...But after thinking about it, I think it might work if there is trust in the relationship.

merce
11-14-2006, 05:51 PM
Yep, good point there, but trust is something you can get by knowing the person.

If you don't live near by how do you get to know each other?

Sofonda Cox
11-14-2006, 05:53 PM
yes if you like alot of phone sex, could be expensive

Mickey
11-14-2006, 05:59 PM
Yep, good point there, but trust is something you can get by knowing the person.

If you don't live near by how do you get to know each other?

By emailing each other, phone conversations, and etc.

merce
11-14-2006, 06:37 PM
By emailing each other, phone conversations, and etc.That's a good point, but isn't the everyday or every other day contact still necessary?

yes if you like alot of phone sex, could be expensiveTalking from experience? :p

Mara_M
11-14-2006, 07:19 PM
yes merce,it can work as long as both parteners are serious abt this and express their feelings hoinestly.

guille&tati4life
11-14-2006, 07:19 PM
I think they can work as there are some good relationships which are long distance (i think). Even if there isn't, i still think it could work :p

Clashcityrocker
11-14-2006, 07:28 PM
i don't believe in it, but maybe because i wouldn't want to have a relationship that way :)

merce
11-14-2006, 07:32 PM
Ok, so far very respectable opinions.

Clashcityrocker
11-14-2006, 07:35 PM
are you having a long distance relationship ??

Deboogle!.
11-14-2006, 07:44 PM
I'll say long distance relationships can work, but only if the parties involve start dating before the distance came between them.I'll agree with this and share the story of one of my best friends and his girlfriend and how they have made it work for years. They started dating in high school around age 16 or whatever. He's a year older than she is and when he went to college (about 90 min from where we grew up) they broke up pretty quickly but missed each other too much and got back together. Then she went to school several hours away (couple hour plane ride), they were still together and what they did was try to see each other once a month. They opened a small bank account and they put money in it and it was just for travel. So one time he could see her, and then the next month she could see him, etc. from money in this account so they wouldn't have to worry about the cost of the trips. On all long weekends and school breaks they saw each other. This lasted the whole time they were in college. They just both finished up this past year and are still together - so they've been together over 5 years from now and are total high school sweethearts and will be married soon. From their experience, which I know is a bit special, it says to me that if people make the effort and really put everything they can into it, it can most definitely work :)

adee-gee
11-14-2006, 07:51 PM
Depends on the distance, but I don't think so.

I had a relationship with a girl in South Africa while I was there, she was probably the best girl I've ever been with. Although we still talk and stuff, it'd be unfair on us both and unrealistic to keep it up and not see other people.

partygirl
11-14-2006, 08:52 PM
yes. but you need a lot of $$$ & a jet.

any relationship can thrive with a jet at your disposal.

freesbee
11-14-2006, 09:01 PM
that's a great story deb :)

I think it would be possible. It would be hard though :lol: but if both parties put an equal effort into it, and if there's complete trust, then why not? :)

blosson
11-14-2006, 09:22 PM
It really depends on which stage of a relationship you are and what stage of life you are.

Angle Queen
11-15-2006, 03:30 AM
short-term...yes, long-term...no

LaTenista
11-15-2006, 04:21 AM
From personal experience I'd have to say no.

~EMiLiTA~
11-15-2006, 04:33 AM
i believe they can

Kristen
11-15-2006, 09:49 AM
From my experience, I voted no. But, I was younger, and there were issues. If you're really dedicated and actually get to see the person, then there might be a chance. I'm somewhere between a realist and a pessimist with this one!

Nikki♥
11-15-2006, 10:13 AM
I'm in a long-distance relationship and from my personal experience I can say that they can work out. Trust is a very important factor in a long-distance relationship, just like communication and openness.
Support also plays a big role in our relationship. We know that it is impossible for the 2 to be together all the time because we are both pursuing a career that is the number one priority in our lives at the moment. Instead of frowning on this we have always been supporting each other at any cost.
There have been plenty of ups and downs but we have somehow managed to learn all the rules that need to be followed in order to keep a long-distance relationship alive.

SloKid
11-15-2006, 10:33 AM
I think it is possible, would you really want to throw away something that could be the best that ever happened to you just because it's long distance? If there's trust and feelings then it's just an obstacle like any other in life that you can overcome if both are on the same page and work for it. :)

merce
11-15-2006, 10:45 AM
are you having a long distance relationship ??Yes, I am, and even though we've known each other for a long time we just started dating almost 2 months ago. We live 3 hours apart, but because of our jobs we can spend as much time together as we will like. It can get a little lonely from time to time too.

I'll agree with this and share the story of one of my best friends and his girlfriend and how they have made it work for years. They started dating in high school around age 16 or whatever. He's a year older than she is and when he went to college (about 90 min from where we grew up) they broke up pretty quickly but missed each other too much and got back together. Then she went to school several hours away (couple hour plane ride), they were still together and what they did was try to see each other once a month. They opened a small bank account and they put money in it and it was just for travel. So one time he could see her, and then the next month she could see him, etc. from money in this account so they wouldn't have to worry about the cost of the trips. On all long weekends and school breaks they saw each other. This lasted the whole time they were in college. They just both finished up this past year and are still together - so they've been together over 5 years from now and are total high school sweethearts and will be married soon. From their experience, which I know is a bit special, it says to me that if people make the effort and really put everything they can into it, it can most definitely work :)That's a beautiful story Deb :).

It also sort of confirms what I believe, if you start dating and get to spend some time together before moving apart things are easier, because you can get a better sense of each other.

I'm in a long-distance relationship and from my personal experience I can say that they can work out. Trust is a very important factor in a long-distance relationship, just like communication and openness.
Support also plays a big role in our relationship. We know that it is impossible for the 2 to be together all the time because we are both pursuing a career that is the number one priority in our lives at the moment. Instead of frowning on this we have always been supporting each other at any cost.
There have been plenty of ups and downs but we have somehow managed to learn all the rules that need to be followed in order to keep a long-distance relationship alive.I agree on that, comunication is very important.

In my case, our job is the #1 priority atm. I think we both have a good comunication, but I still think there's something missing.

I think I'm just a bit afraid to be spending time in something that won't probably go that much further :confused:

Maybe I'm looking to far ahead of things also.

scarecrows
11-15-2006, 11:49 AM
99.99% No

damn even short distance relationships rarely work, imagine if you can see and have sex with your gf/bf once every 2/3 months

*Ljubica*
11-15-2006, 01:17 PM
From personal experience I say yes - providing you totally trust each other as Princesa says. And also as she says - you have to be able to communicate and be open with each other.

MisterQ
11-15-2006, 01:32 PM
There are always exceptions to the rule, but as others have said, I think these relationships can work if they were already well-established in person and there's a real commitment to each other. If they are just beginning, it's much harder to maintain.

Deboogle!.
11-15-2006, 03:28 PM
that's a great story deb :)That's a beautiful story Deb :).Yeah, isn't it? :) I mean, once I told him that I really admired what they were able to do and he got all embarrassed and just said he didn't think they did anything special at all. I think to them it was just normal to be so smart about it.
It also sort of confirms what I believe, if you start dating and get to spend some time together before moving apart things are easier, because you can get a better sense of each other.Yeah I mean, before he went away to college they had been together at least a year I'd say. Mind you they were young, in their teens, but they still made it work. I guess the trust aspects went without saying and she had helped him through a really horrible time in his life (his dad passed away right before his high school graduation, etc.). And now his mom has also passed away so he is working and taking care of his little brother and she still lives far away working in a 2-year internship, it might be even harder now because they're not in school anymore so they don't get as many breaks, but yet they're still making it work :)

Maybe they're a special case but they've made me believe it can work when people put in the effort.

Merce, I think the fact that you guys have known each other for so long helps. If you really care about him and really want to put the effort in and go through the hard times in order to make it work, then I'm sure you can :) I think the important thing is to not let the times of loneliness and stuff really get you down and make you think it's not worth it. If he's worth it and if you feel the relationship is worth it, then the things you have to do along the way are also worth it :) On the other hand if you really don't think it's all worth it, then I'm the type who doesn't see the need to unnecessarily prolong things....

Good luck! :)

shotgun
11-15-2006, 04:38 PM
They can, depending on how the parties met in the first place and if both parties are willing to pay the price of not getting involved with other people in between, like Adam said. I have never been on a long-distance relationship before, but I imagine it must have the benefit of being much less stressful than a 'short-distance' relationship.

GlennMirnyi
11-15-2006, 09:40 PM
99.99% No

damn even short distance relationships rarely work, imagine if you can see and have sex with your gf/bf once every 2/3 months

Not the relationship guy, huh Genci? :p

Long relationships work.

justClaudia
11-15-2006, 09:48 PM
There are always exceptions to the rule

this is very true.

my personal experince didn't work, we tried and we were together for a long time when he moved, but things never worked out. love, respect, commitment, we had all that...but the daily life, the lunches, the dinners, going to the movies, doing simple things together, all was gone. the daily routine was gone, and that killed us.

But one of my friends is dating a guy who lives in Australia, they are together for quite a long time now and things seem to be fine. And even though i don't see myself dating a guy who lives on the other side of the world, i'd say it is possible, there are many cases to prove it.

Deb, that was a beautifull story. :awww: Good luck to them.

merce
11-16-2006, 01:04 PM
Yeah, isn't it? :) I mean, once I told him that I really admired what they were able to do and he got all embarrassed and just said he didn't think they did anything special at all. I think to them it was just normal to be so smart about it.
Yeah I mean, before he went away to college they had been together at least a year I'd say. Mind you they were young, in their teens, but they still made it work. I guess the trust aspects went without saying and she had helped him through a really horrible time in his life (his dad passed away right before his high school graduation, etc.). And now his mom has also passed away so he is working and taking care of his little brother and she still lives far away working in a 2-year internship, it might be even harder now because they're not in school anymore so they don't get as many breaks, but yet they're still making it work :)

Maybe they're a special case but they've made me believe it can work when people put in the effort.

Merce, I think the fact that you guys have known each other for so long helps. If you really care about him and really want to put the effort in and go through the hard times in order to make it work, then I'm sure you can :) I think the important thing is to not let the times of loneliness and stuff really get you down and make you think it's not worth it. If he's worth it and if you feel the relationship is worth it, then the things you have to do along the way are also worth it :) On the other hand if you really don't think it's all worth it, then I'm the type who doesn't see the need to unnecessarily prolong things....

Good luck! :)Deb your friends story is amzing, there are ppl that are simply meant to be together.

Your last lines worries me a little 'cause I still don't know if it's really worth it :shrug:.

So come on woman first you give me the high hopes and then you take them out (j/k) :lol:. Thanks for your thoughful comment :hug:

this is very true.

my personal experince didn't work, we tried and we were together for a long time when he moved, but things never worked out. love, respect, commitment, we had all that...but the daily life, the lunches, the dinners, going to the movies, doing simple things together, all was gone. the daily routine was gone, and that killed us.

But one of my friends is dating a guy who lives in Australia, they are together for quite a long time now and things seem to be fine. And even though i don't see myself dating a guy who lives on the other side of the world, i'd say it is possible, there are many cases to prove it.

Deb, that was a beautifull story. :awww: Good luck to them.:awww: :hug:
Isn't it weird how somethings work for some ppl and not for others?

You had a special relationship and still got killed by the distance and your friend is dating a guy all the way in Australia and things are working alright :shrug:

bluesky_rachel
11-16-2006, 05:07 PM
From my experience,I say both Yes and No.

I had been in love with a guy who lived on the other side of the world for more than 7 months,but it suddenly ended after an arguement because of my stupidity and immaturity.:awww:I'd say it can work when both are mature enough to understand and care about each other's feelings,not using time to argue over trivial things.And the most important is that treasure and trust him/her.I think distance is not really a big problem when you are in love with someone you truly love,for theres no distance between hearts.The 7 months were the most happiest time in my life,which I will treasure forever.I also learned many valuable things from that relationship.

Good luck!:)

Washa Koroleva
11-16-2006, 05:57 PM
yes they can. i had one and it worked well. we split up for other reasons.

miraina
11-16-2006, 06:17 PM
I voted "yes" for the poll.
I'd say that it depends on the 2 persons... Long distance is a problem that not everybody can support.. But if you really love the person, you'll be ready to wait and stay faithful. But if you begin to wonder if it can work or not, it means that you have doubts... a little doubt...

Joyce_23
11-20-2006, 11:43 AM
I think it can work, in fact I know two people making it work. It takes hard work and a lot of dedication but they really love each other.

Action Jackson
11-20-2006, 11:50 AM
They can work, it depends on the individuals, but all relationships have problems, it's just the long distance ones can be magnified, though there are certain advantages to long distance relationships.

merce
11-22-2006, 07:57 PM
yeah, maybe the whole distance just magnifies everything.

The yes option is actually beating the no one by 30 % :eek:

I thougth it was going to be a closer result.

scarecrows
11-22-2006, 08:52 PM
The yes option is actually beating the no one by 30 % :eek:

I thougth it was going to be a closer result.

coz people like to be in a dreamland

merce
11-22-2006, 09:15 PM
Very optimistic Genci :yeah:

:lol:

TNX1.0E6TOPCA
11-23-2006, 06:35 AM
no, cos i need to touch skin and i cant sleep alone

merce
12-03-2006, 02:06 PM
last day of the poll :)

Sofonda Cox
12-03-2006, 02:20 PM
Talking from experience? :p

no, i would get concerned that my b/f was working himself off to porn, not me:D

no, cos i need to touch skin and i cant sleep alone

:hug: how sweet:)

merce
12-03-2006, 09:16 PM
no, i would get concerned that my b/f was working himself off to porn, not me:D



:hug: how sweet:):lol:

out_here_grindin
09-12-2012, 01:38 AM
I am just starting one. We are going for it. We have known each other for a month and I visited her this weekend for the first time meeting in person. She lives in East Lansing Michigan. 12.5 hour drive. I'm approaching this was optimism cause we both could not be happier right now .

Smoke944
09-12-2012, 01:40 AM
I am just starting one. We are going for it. We have known each other for a month and I visited her this weekend for the first time meeting in person. She lives in East Lansing Michigan. 12.5 hour drive. I'm approaching this was optimism cause we both could not be happier right now .

So she goes to MSU?

Topspindoctor
09-12-2012, 01:46 AM
Yes. If your partner is your intellectual equal and you don't want to let her go, it can definitely work. You can bang other girls on the side to satisfy your physical needs during the time that you're apart.

out_here_grindin
09-12-2012, 01:59 AM
So she goes to MSU?

Correct. It's a decent campus, parts are nicer than others. They have the 2nd largest cafeteria in the nation there as well.

BroTree123
09-12-2012, 08:17 AM
Yes. If your partner is your intellectual equal and you don't want to let her go, it can definitely work. You can bang other girls on the side to satisfy your physical needs during the time that you're apart.

Tee-hee-hee :devil:

superslam77
09-12-2012, 10:41 AM
Yes. If your partner is your intellectual equal and you don't want to let her go, it can definitely work. You can bang other girls on the side to satisfy your physical needs during the time that you're apart.

they usually bang other guys as well and once you spent money on them they run :wavey:

i had bad to horrible experiences and one that was real good... so 90% fail

NEVER for any reason give any money. oh i'm broke and i need for the kids=oldest trick in the book

Johnny Groove
09-12-2012, 02:06 PM
Very tough, but not impossible.

Shinoj
09-12-2012, 06:16 PM
Very tough, but not impossible.


Same Thoughts

PedroMarquess
09-12-2012, 08:25 PM
they usually bang other guys as well and once you spent money on them they run :wavey:

i had bad to horrible experiences and one that was real good... so 90% fail

NEVER for any reason give any money. oh i'm broke and i need for the kids=oldest trick in the book

SO, you had 10 relations and only one worked? If the one was that good, it was worth.

You can try, it really depends on your expectations and needs.

Hian-GOAT
09-12-2012, 10:47 PM
If it is true love, it can. Otherwise, it cannot.

EliSter
09-12-2012, 11:07 PM
Yes. If your partner is your intellectual equal and you don't want to let her go, it can definitely work. You can bang other girls on the side to satisfy your physical needs during the time that you're apart.

Started long distance thing with Italian girl 2 years ago, after like few months ago she moved here and we live together and it works great atm. You just need to be patient like hell and smart, and ofc satisfy your needs until you 2 live start living together or see eachother often, few months w.o sex is hard to handle :o. No matter how much u think u can love some girl/guy that is 1000 miles away and it works great like that its not easy. Atleast wasnt for me, but it was worth waiting :hearts:

tripwires
09-13-2012, 07:58 AM
Yes. If your partner is your intellectual equal and you don't want to let her go, it can definitely work. You can bang other girls on the side to satisfy your physical needs during the time that you're apart.

Hope you're joking.

Don't and never will believe in long-distance relationships. I don't consider myself overly needy but even I can't stand not seeing my boyfriend for months on end, especially in the first few months of the relationship when I typically like to see him every other day (this dies down after a while, of course). Not only that, time zone differences are awful and technology, while convenient, doesn't really work in my favour because I look terrible on webcam. No matter how great the guy is, having someone whom you like (nevermind if it's not as much as you like the other person) here and now will more likely than not make you forget the great guy that you have in some other part of the world.

Jimnik
09-13-2012, 08:31 AM
Depends what "long distance" means. If it's the distance from panties to feet, I see no reason it can't work.

http://www.google.com/url?source=imglanding&ct=img&q=http://forshiggles.files.wordpress.com/2012/07/maria-sharapova-at-edgewater-park.jpg&sa=X&ei=X5lRUIrVO5OO9ATM04HACg&ved=0CAoQ8wc4Uw&usg=AFQjCNH2VTEE7IsxOQx8grq2Crq6upso7w

Shinoj
09-13-2012, 08:44 AM
Yes. If your partner is your intellectual equal and you don't want to let her go, it can definitely work. You can bang other girls on the side to satisfy your physical needs during the time that you're apart.

I do not think there is a term Called Intellectual Compatibility between a man and a woman..There is only attraction between them.Intellectual compatibility cant sustain a relationship but attraction can.

tripwires
09-13-2012, 09:06 AM
I do not think there is a term Called Intellectual Compatibility between a man and a woman..There is only attraction between them.Intellectual compatibility cant sustain a relationship but attraction can.

Intellectual attraction?

I can't date a guy who's not intellectual, even if he's the hottest guy I've ever seen. I'd just think he's stupid and lose interest after a while.

Shinoj
09-13-2012, 12:34 PM
Intellectual attraction?

I can't date a guy who's not intellectual, even if he's the hottest guy I've ever seen. I'd just think he's stupid and lose interest after a while.


Well Intellectual Attraction can be misnomer for some Guys who got way too educated but feel the need to impress the Opposite Sex through it. And many a times it does work. I tried it sometimes. For a Girl it might look charming but amongst the Gang of Guys the Guy made a "Fool" out of a Girl. But then again it depends upon the Individuals involved, If its working for them why should others bother.

Soliloque
12-01-2012, 03:26 PM
Never.

born_on_clay
03-02-2013, 05:18 PM
They do not work I guess :shrug: