Funny bit from

01-25-2004, 05:58 PM
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Holy First Round Loss! Surprise Defeats At Aus Open

The Australian Open's super hero theme received a blow today when Batman, Spiderman and Aquaman were among several high profile super heroes eliminated in the first round at Melbourne Park.

Batman, the Cowled Detective from Gotham, fell in four sets, to 19th seed, Brazilian Gustavo Kuerten, while Captain America was bundled out by 9th seed Sebastien Grosjean, from France.

"It doesn't matter if you have got spider senses and the ability to walk up walls if you can't make a crucial backhand down the line," said world No. 1 Andy Roddick after brushing aside friendly neighbourhood webslinger, Spiderman,
6-3, 6-2, 6-1.

"I'm not so sure about this tennis-superhero match-up," Roddick admitted."I mean, that Spider guy left all this sticky web crap all over the baseline. It was disgusting."

In a particularly ironic defeat, Aquaman fell in straight sets to 21st seed, Mardy Fish from the USA.

But other heroes made it through to the Open's second round, including Nightwing, who beat German Tomas Behrend, 6-4, 6-4, 6-2, Green Lantern, with a solid straight set triumph over fellow American Brian Vahaly, aided by using his ring to create a massive glowing hologram racquet that Vahaly was unable to hit past.

"I think my super speed made all the difference," admitted The Flash after outlasting Peru's Ivan Miranda.

In the woman's draw, the only Amazon in the Open, Wonder Woman, worked hard before accounting for young Australian Trudi Musgrave, 7-5, 6-3 while American Black Canary was far too strong for veteran Spaniard Conchita Martinez.

The Canary said she was looking forward to the next round, as well as to next week's mixed doubles alongside regular partner Green Arrow.

At one stage in the first round, it looked as though a major boilover was on the cards on Day Two as top seed Superman fell two sets to love behind little
known American qualifier, Lex Luthor.

Superman's strength and chances of lasting through to the second week appeared to be fading after Luthor insisted their match on the Vodafone Arena be played using strangely glowing yellow balls.

But once Superman had the balls changed to the usual brand, his strength and shot making quickly returned, resulting in a stirring five set victory.

In a related story, beaten 20th seed Tommy Robredo complained bitterly of the new super hero theme.

"How am I supposed to play elite tennis while forced to wear this silly cape and this tight body-fitting lycra?" the Spaniard fumed to

"Why do I need these boots, gloves and utility belt while on court? Why must I yell 'kapow!' and 'blam!' as I hit each shot? I think (tournament director) Paul McNamee must revisit this entire concept and do so very quickly."


Imagine if tennis was THIS interesting LOL...

01-25-2004, 05:59 PM
LMGDFAO!!!!!!!!!!!!! :haha:

01-25-2004, 06:10 PM
What are the chances ESPN would ignore a barn-burner between Batman and Superman in favor of a qualifier getting beaten on by... Captain America?

01-25-2004, 06:11 PM
ummmmmm...... I'll go out on a limb and guess the chances are 0 ;)

01-25-2004, 06:12 PM
Thank God the Ninja Turtles are still in the draw.

01-25-2004, 06:19 PM
please, you just know Splinter is rigging the tourney to have Donatello beat Raphael (who, btw, needs to work on that 2nd serve!)

By the way, it was hysterical the way Safin hit that forehand at Leonardo who retracted his head in his shell and made everyone think he got decapitated. Those turtles kill me, I swear...

01-25-2004, 06:20 PM

01-25-2004, 06:20 PM
Superhero's Aussie open ESPN style-

Coverage of the European superheros - "The invisible man" vs. “Wolfman” and " The Shocker" vs. “The bird man” will not be seen instead we will see American Superheroes blow out some qualifiers.


01-25-2004, 06:23 PM
Holy sh*t that's funny stuff! LMAO!!! :haha: :haha: :haha:

and MrQ ... Ninja Turtles! *snort* :haha: :haha:

my side hurts......

01-25-2004, 06:28 PM

01-25-2004, 06:56 PM